The Acoustic Guitar Forum

Go Back   The Acoustic Guitar Forum > General Acoustic Guitar and Amplification Discussion > General Acoustic Guitar Discussion

Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #16  
Old 02-24-2018, 04:25 PM
Rudy4 Rudy4 is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 8,796
Default

Hi Peter,
There's Mojo and Karma involved here.

Return it and get a new J-45. It might not be long before you will no longer have the chance to get a new J-45 so strike while the iron's hot.

It's not about the money; send back any difference, explaining just that.
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 02-24-2018, 04:27 PM
Guitars+gems Guitars+gems is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: SoCal
Posts: 1,395
Default No, I wouldn't "kill" to be in your position.

I think the ex-girlfriend has done you a kindness and cleared her own conscience. I really think it's kind of martyr-esque that you never bought another guitar in all these years. I mean, I get that you loved the J45, but if you really wanted to play wouldn't you have managed to get something else?

Accept the gift gracefully and learn to love the D18. There are worse things.
__________________
Denise
Martin HD-28V VTS, MFG Custom
Taylor 358e 12 string
Martin 00L-17
Voyage Air OM04
Breedlove Oregon Concert
1975 Aria 9422
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 02-24-2018, 04:28 PM
handers handers is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 2,672
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by peterkovach View Post
Hi Everyone,

I’m new to the forum, and I thank you all in advance for any guidance or advice you may have on my (very) unique situation. And let me apologize now for the length of this post.

Basically, I am having a very good “problem”. Let me (not-so) briefly explain how I got here.

Several years ago I was dating a girl. To make a long story short, while I was with her, my beloved guitar was stolen. A 1971 Gibson J-45. I absolutely adored it, and was heartbroken. I’ve always been pretty strapped for cash, and I have not owned an acoustic since then.

The girl and I have been broken up for several years now, and she has gone on to do very well for herself. I knew that she had always blamed herself for the guitar getting stolen (99% likely it was her addict ex boyfriend). I forgave her for it, told her it was not her fault, etc. I since moved away. We haven’t spoken in a year. I got an e-mail from her last week saying that I’d be receiving a package in the mail. I figure it is some kind of catch-up letter, or some kind of gift that reminded her of me. Something like that.

I get home on Saturday to my apartment to find a brand new Martin D-18 at my door. She bought it on Amazon for $2,459.

I called her, basically in shock. Can’t deny there were some tears. She explained that she couldn’t stand the thought of me not playing guitar (we used to sing songs together as a part of our relationship. Very beautiful memories).

My first reaction was to reject it. She insists that I keep it. Apparently she is doing very well for herself, and this is a way for her to right a wrong from several years ago. She got me the D-18, thinking that it was the same guitar I had stolen from me. I told her this wasn’t the case (it was a vintage Gibson J-45) and she told me that I could return it or exchange for basically any guitar I want similar in value.

So, literally out of nowhere, I get to choose any acoustic I want.
I know to many of you, I sound like a spoiled brat right now, and that I should accept the D-18 and love it as such. And there's a great chance I will. But this is the guitar I will never sell and will own for the rest of my life, and I want to make the right decision.

I’ve been planning/saving for my big high-end acoustic purchase for years now, so I have done my fair share of research. I know that I am not a Taylor guy, as I find them too bright for my taste. I loved my Gibson (even though it was apparently made in a very bad era for Gibson). The sound was great, but what made it perfect was the action. I don’t know how or why, but it made me a far better acoustic player. The neck was great.


Here is my question for you guys. What do you do if you have 3k to spend on a guitar within the next week?

I’ve narrowed it down the best I can. It's 100% Martin or Gibson. Stupid as it is, I'm old fashioned and really love the iconic brands that have made such a huge impact on the music I love. I know there are great boutique brands out there, but for my one life-long high end acoustic, it's gotta be a Martin or Gibson.

Here are my final options:

- Martin D-18 (the one I currently have with the tag still on it).
- Martin D-28
- Gibson J-45
- Gibson Hummingbird.

And that’s it.

My first reaction to the D-18 was positive. My ex knows literally nothing about guitars, so she actually bought it on Amazon. I was concerned about this, but it seems to be fine. I don’t know if it has been set up or anything.

The sound is beautiful, but a bit brighter than I prefer. Also, I’m a big guy (6’5’’ with big ol hands) and the guitar is on the smaller side. I’m thinking the D-28 might be more suitable? Or Gibsons?

I’ve always thought it was crazy to pay for a brand new guitar. I had planned on getting one used, and I’m a big fan of old guitars. But maybe its best to play it safe and stick with brand new? It's a weird feeling, because I'm literally playing with someone else's money.

What would you guys do if you were me? Are brand new Martins as good as the vintage ones? Should I scour eBay for an old J-45 (like the one I loved so much)? Get a badass bright orange Hummingbird?

Musically, I’m very into folk, blues, rock ,etc etc. My ideal guitar sound is something similar to early Neil Young, Stones, Dylan, etc. Would definitely say I prefer a more deep, full sound, rather than a modern bright Taylor-esque sound. I dabble in bluegrass and country, but I'd say I'm definitely blues/folk based.

I realize that this^ is all sprawling and I’m probably not even asking a specific question, but, still, I would love to hear some advice from some wiser folks than myself. I’m sure that most of you would kill to be in this position. I still kind of can’t believe that it’s happening to me. I’m sure I could stick with the D-18 and be happy, but I’d always wonder if I made the wrong choice.

Cheers,

- Peter
Definitely keep it and be grateful for her kindness.

Which Guitar to flip it for or to keep it is something no one in this forum can answer better than u. Unless it plays poorly now hold onto it and make s change when u decide the D18 isn’t for u. Have u decided that already?

Hans
__________________
1971 Papazian (swiss spruce/braz RW)
1987 Lowden L32p (sitka/ind RW)
1992 Froggy Bottom F (19th cent. german spruce/koa)
2000 Froggy Bottom H12c (adir/ind RW)
2016 Froggy Bottom K mod (adir/madrose; my son's)
2010 Voyage-Air VAOM-2C

http://www.soundclick.com/hanstunes (recorded on Froggy H12c)
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 02-24-2018, 04:41 PM
B. Adams B. Adams is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Vermillion, SD
Posts: 437
Default

First of all, I find it kind of incredible that there wasn't anything wrong with a random guitar from Amazon. I don't know what Amazon's track record is with guitars, but if they package them as poorly as they package the things I order I'm surprised it wasn't a pile of sawdust by the time it got to you.

I'm a little sentimental, so if I were in your shoes I'd keep that D18 forever. I view gifts like that as something that I should never let go of. I feel that way because I've received gifts that had sentimental value to me and for one reason or another I sold them or gave them away or whatever and regretted it. It's not something I want to repeat, so I try not to. That's just me though.

On a practical note, Gibson quality has been up and down over the years, as has Martin. Gibson probably moreso. If you already have a good one in your hands, I'd be very hesitant to let it go.

The tone of a guitar is impacted by more than just the guitar itself. String gauge and material are a huge contributor, as is the pick type and thickness that you use. If it's too bright for you at the moment, I'm sure some minor changes to strings or picks would give you a more pleasing result.

I can't tell you whether or not to keep that particular guitar, but I can tell you that from my perspective, you absolutely need to keep that woman in your life. I assume there's a good reason you aren't together anymore, and maybe that's the way it should be and maybe not. You and her are the only ones that can answer those kinds of questions. But I would definitely do everything I could to keep someone as thoughtful and caring as she seems to be as close to me as possible, whatever that entails. Just my take on things.
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 02-24-2018, 04:56 PM
JonHBone JonHBone is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Hampton Roads, Virginia
Posts: 736
Default

All great choices. I'd stick with the d18. It's now part of the story unless you feel you must have something different. The d18 is as much a lifetime guitar as any other you're open to.
__________________
-Jon
Reply With Quote
  #21  
Old 02-24-2018, 05:03 PM
menhir menhir is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 1,208
Default

Well...you asked.

Keep it!
That guitar has some serious good karma attached to it now.
Reply With Quote
  #22  
Old 02-24-2018, 05:03 PM
ChalkLitIScream ChalkLitIScream is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 924
Default

Hard to come by people like her who have a heart and conscience. Very thoughtful of her.
If I were you, I'd keep that D-18. Just because that would be the same guitar with a nice story behind it. I'm a sentimental person like that. As long as that d18 is good finally, and looks good, why not keep it?

If you aren't much for sentiment, and are adamant for something else, act now. But I would find it awkward to say "hey, thanks, but I'd like something else"
Reply With Quote
  #23  
Old 02-24-2018, 05:21 PM
Pickcity's Avatar
Pickcity Pickcity is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,163
Default

I prefer the J-45, but it doesn't matter what I think. In the end you will decide what to do. I will add that exchanging it is not rude, IMO. She spent a good amount of money and you should have what you want. I totally get not wanting to seem selfish or ungrateful by exchanging it...It would have been easier if she had asked before she bought it.
Reply With Quote
  #24  
Old 02-24-2018, 05:26 PM
Greg Rappleye Greg Rappleye is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Western Michigan
Posts: 2,263
Default

Keep the D-18.

Reasons: Good Karma, great guitar.

Get the girl back.

Reason: You will never find a better heart.



Greg Rappleye
Reply With Quote
  #25  
Old 02-24-2018, 05:31 PM
Mbroady's Avatar
Mbroady Mbroady is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Asheville via NYC
Posts: 6,298
Default

If you are bonding with the guitar - fantastic
If not, Write to her or call and express your profound appreciation and explain that you will be exchanging the guitar for one that matches what was lost. If there are any funds left over use it to buy her something or return the funds to her.


That is a great problem to have.
__________________
David Webber Round-Body
Furch D32-LM
MJ Franks Lagacy OM
Rainsong H-WS1000N2T
Stonebridge OM33-SR DB
Stonebridge D22-SRA
Tacoma Papoose
Voyage Air VAD-2
1980 Fender Strat
A few Partscaster Strats
MIC 60s Classic Vib Strat
Reply With Quote
  #26  
Old 02-24-2018, 05:33 PM
Wade Hampton Wade Hampton is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Chugiak, Alaska
Posts: 31,165
Default

jwellsy makes a good point about possible future jealousy from another girlfriend or spouse. But there's an easy way to deal with that - assuming that you don't have a girlfriend right now who'll be familiar with the story, simply don't mention how you got the guitar to any future sweethearts. Unless the woman you end up with is herself a musician, I wouldn't worry about it at all.

The reason for that is that vast majority of non-musicians, whether they're our sweethearts or not, are PROFOUNDLY disinterested in any origin stories about how and where we got any instruments that we own. They simply don't care, and why should they?

Mentioning the story to future sweethearts complicates matters, though, obviously. It becomes less about the guitar itself and much more about the possibility of a lingering relationship with an ex-girlfriend, which IS a legitimate concern for anyone who gets involved with you.

So while it isn't mandatory that you maintain utter silence on the story of how you acquired that guitar, I think you should give the matter some serious thought before you do reveal the details to any future romantic partner.

Just a suggestion....


whm
Reply With Quote
  #27  
Old 02-24-2018, 05:37 PM
MChild62 MChild62 is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Florence, Italy
Posts: 499
Default

If you are learning to appreciate the D-18, I'd keep it. The story and the guitar are so good they belong together.

Although the J-45 is a great guitar, it's part of your past, and a new (or used) one today will never be the same as the one you lost. Heck, are you the same person after so many years?

Time to move on. Consider this the real favor your ex has done you.
Reply With Quote
  #28  
Old 02-24-2018, 05:46 PM
Transylvania's Avatar
Transylvania Transylvania is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Western North Carolina
Posts: 2,393
Default

My advice would be to turn the page and keep the D-18. It's amazing how we "remember" the sound of a guitar, only for it to sound differently than we initially remembered. Yours is a great story. This woman clearly has good memories of your time together.

Keep the D-18 and see if you can take her to dinner to say thanks. Just my 2 cents.
__________________
Santa Cruz D12-12 string, Ger. Maple/Ger. Spruce
Froggy Bottom SJ12 Custom Spalted Maple/ Adirondack
Petros GC Cocobolo/ German Spruce
Emerald X-20 Custom SS



Life's been good to me so far....
Reply With Quote
  #29  
Old 02-24-2018, 05:46 PM
AZLiberty AZLiberty is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Arizona
Posts: 7,908
Default

I would keep the guitar and one heck of a story.
__________________
Larrivee OM-03RE; O-01
Martin D-35; Guild F-212; Tacoma Roadking
Breedlove American Series C20/SR
Rainsong SFTA-FLE; WS3000; CH-PA
Taylor GA3-12, Guild F-212

https://markhorning.bandcamp.com/music
Reply With Quote
  #30  
Old 02-24-2018, 05:47 PM
Steel and wood Steel and wood is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 2,752
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by GGSanders View Post
Keep the D-18. Accept it as a gift from an old friend and enjoy it. Don't think of it as a replacement for your lost Gibson. Very likely you will grow to love it.

If you still yearn for a J-45, pinch your pennies until you have $1500-2000 saved, and buy a used one. That seems to be the going price on Reverb.

Certainly nothing wrong with having two nice guitars, is there?
This from me also. (Accept her gift of a fantastic Martin D18).
Reply With Quote
Reply

  The Acoustic Guitar Forum > General Acoustic Guitar and Amplification Discussion > General Acoustic Guitar Discussion

Thread Tools





All times are GMT -6. The time now is 04:59 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
Copyright ©2000 - 2022, The Acoustic Guitar Forum
vB Ad Management by =RedTyger=