Why I Generally Don't Enjoy Playing In Front Of Others? What About You?

[mike o]

Nothing wrong with being a rock star at home only. Music should be for personal enjoyment first. Next step is jamming with others which may lead to performing. I do very much enjoy performing which is another skill set.

[Wade Hampton]

I enjoy playing for audiences, which is good, since I made my living as a professional musician for years. I find that I actually play my best in front of a crowd. For me it’s energizing, and the better the crowd the better I play.


Wade Hampton Miller

[PineMarten]

I enjoy being an instrumentalist with bands - most often upright or electric bass, but it's been electric guitar too, occasional bits of mandolin etc. But performing by myself with a mix of songs and tunes, I still feel like I have a hump to get over with my singing. I can sometimes get into it well enough at home that I enjoy how I sound, but I tend to get uptight about it in front of an audience so that it feels like an effort, and then the stress of that messes up my playing too. And then there's the self-doubt - sometimes I wonder what yet another introspective beardy guy with an acoustic guitar can really bring to the world and whether anyone truly needs that!

[Br1ck]

I don't like being treated like hired help. Once my band's keyboard player was asked by a friend for us to play his wedding. Free of course. I went along to keep band drama in control. I'll never forget when everyone but my keyboard player was asked to eat in the kitchen. See, we were good enough to do the favor, but not good enough to be a guest. Would have cost the groom $220 for us to be guests. That's $220 for four people.

And when we got paid, even "friends" treated us like hired help. When we played for free, generally we were treated very well and enjoyed it a whole lot more. We played a memorial for a friend, whose widow asked for us to learn Mustang Sally, a song we generally would not have touched with a ten foot pole. We deferred to her wishes and the crowd loved it. That alone was worth the effort. We were friends with a vintner and played his birthday party for tips, which were bottles of wine from the finest wine producers in the area. Dollar value was probably more than we ever made. Did that gig until the winery was bought by big business.

If you are going to try to make gigging worthwhile, it is very important that you realize you have a boss, and your job is to please him or her, and every audience member is your boss too.

A tiny coffeehouse is a great way to work quirky covers and whatever originals you want. Realize the tip jar will be wanting and you are doing it for fun. It's very hard to find your perfect balance.

[6L6]

I certainly get why a lot of musicians don't want to play in front of others. Same thing with Public Speaking in general. It ain't easy (but gets easier the more you play/speak).

As for me, I love playing for others. But at age 78, that is pretty much limited to our weekly Open Mic. And that's fine with me at this stage of my life.

[DDW]

Seems that most like to play for others. I never play for others, only myself. Guitar and piano for about 63 years now. Sometimes someone might be listening in by happenstance, but that's it.

[JGinNJ]

Recently somewhere, maybe here, acoustic guitar was described as "the people's instrument". I think there's some truth to that, you can do as much or as little as you want with it and still make music.
Learn a few chords and be able to count to 4, there's a lot of music there. Or learn the whole neck, scales, theory, as far as you want to go.
Play solo at home, or in a band, jam, whatever.

Thing is, playing for an audience, solo or with others, will make you a better player- and maybe a more honest one, because you'll face up to your deficiencies.

[EZYPIKINS]

The more time in between songs, the more time people have to heckle you or make requests.

If you make a set list. And stick to the list. Start playing the next song before any awkward silence accrues.

If they applaud for the first song, start the next while applause is still happening.

[Skip Ellis]

"Now I try to live by the words of Charlie Christian: "I only take my guitar out if I'm going to learn something, make some money, or have some fun."

That's me to a 'T' but it's been a very long time since I've done it for fun - I did it for money for too long that I need that kick in the butt (gig) to get me interested. Nobody around here to play with and very limited places to play and they all require singing which I don't do. Fortunately, I was contacted recently for a 6-8 week theater run Mar-May so I'm starting to get excited.

[Glennwillow]

I like to play for others but I haven't for quite a while now. I enjoy doing stuff for my YouTube channel, but I never see the audience.

My favorite audience to play for is my wife. She loves to hear me sing and play. I used to play for her every night on the other side of the island in the kitchen while she was making dinner. I have gotten out of that habit, but I should do that again. She is the best, most appreciative audience I have ever had.

- Glenn

[Slothead56]

I’ve been a solo guy since the mid 70’s….never been in a band.

I’ve always thought that it’s easier to play to 100 people than 2.

[Denandannie]

I gig for several long term care homes. The beauty is, most of them are hearing deficient so they can’t tell if or when I make a mistake. I enjoy seeing them happy and they enjoy the music. Most of my songs are old time hymns.
My only other gig is accompanying myself as I sing vocals in church.

[zuzu]

Performing in front of people was just in on the ground floor of my learning to play. I joined my first band the Saturday after Thanksgiving, barely able to form a barre chord. The next Tuesday I switched to bass, which I had never touched, that New Year's Eve I played my first paying gig, a couple of months into the New Year I was in a second band as well and playing all the time. It seriously was on the job training for me and, looking back, I am shocked that I didn't just suck, though having a mentor that believed in trial by fire was a big reason I didn't, because he would sure let me know if I did! Then sit down with me and help me understand.

So...I dunno...on one hand I don't even think of "playing in public", I'm just playing and people happen to be there so I will try to connect with them through performance, hoping they have some fun for sure, whether I'm being paid or not. On the other hand, though I rarely get what I would call nervous, I am very aware that people are observing me and want to do well.

But there is one situation in which I am very uncomfortable playing in public; there will be a usually smallish gathering, party, or campfire, or such, and everybody is just grooving and chilling except that one person who knows you play and has to come up with an instrument from somewhere and have you play and sing for everybody, whether they will or no. I hate that but usually do, out of mere courtesy, give them their wish.

[Charlie Bernstein]

Originally Posted by Br1ck

. . . And when we got paid, even "friends" treated us like hired help. . . .

Well, to be fair, when you get paid, you are hired help.

But I hear you. Rude is rude, right? Get new friends!

[birdsong]

Originally Posted by Denandannie

I gig for several long term care homes. The beauty is, most of them are hearing deficient so they can’t tell if or when I make a mistake. I enjoy seeing them happy and they enjoy the music. Most of my songs are old time hymns.

My only other gig is accompanying myself as I sing vocals in church.

I love playing for folks in nursing homes or memory care facilities. It’s bittersweet but I can assure you one thing - you are always much appreciated.

I still enjoy the occasional library or city park gig. Always some nerves - this is to be expected. I like the focus that a planned gig brings to my schedule.

I do not like the band drama. I quit a recent group because of this. We’re in our 60’s and 70’s and yet some act like they’re still 2.

I have found that for the most part people are quite forgiving and “on your side”. And in my experiences if someone requested something- they also wanted to sing along. Which I encourage.