For the complainers and the unhappy.

[s2y]

I spend a good chunk of time on guitar, bass, and cycling forums. People are really unhappy, most of 'em don't have any real problems. I'm "blessed" to work in a large hospital. I deal with patients who have a lot of serious problems, which puts things into perspective.

I also recently had a bad cycling wreck at about 40mph. I'll forever be grateful that I didn't die or get injured any worse than I did.

[dannyg1]

Originally Posted by Otterhound

Give yourself some credit . Hopefully , you are only being humble , because you have what appears to be an open mind . An open mind can be very frightening to those that do not .

I wish I could claim to have an open mind. The truth is that I havve to fight and check myself constantly in pursuit of one. What I do have though is a ton of experience in one more obscure than not aspect of being a professional musician and I offer up what I've learned in that , warts and all.

Not that anyone on this thread is clued into this, but I'm not looking to be 100% right. I'm looking to outline what a potential buyer can expect from a given product without surprises. There are plenty of products that are 'good enough' for most players that are completely unacceptable to me for one reason or another and I just say why and in that at least, I'm sure that I've done well.

[buddyhu]

Thanks to OP for starting this thread. I think it is always valuable to take a moment to check the condition of one's consciousness, and if one finds a lack of perspective or a cause of unnecessary inner distress, to make an attitude adjustment.

I also think it is unnecessary to judge whether the complaints of others are valid or invalid, overreactions or "normal" justified reactions. I figure anyone who is experiencing a reaction deserves some compassion: if it appears justified, then we can have compassion for the real and very difficult circumstances we see that person experiencing; if it seems like an overreaction, we can feel compassion for the suffering that the person is inflicting upon themselves and others with their mental state and their lack of perspective. There is a lot of suffering embedded in a lack of perspective.

As my elementary school teachers used to say, "Keep your eyes on your own paper". I am best served by focusing on my own mental state and working with my own reactivity, and the states and reactivity of others is none of my business unless someone invites me into his/her inner world in some way.

[Wengr]

Imo, we all have a natural right to complain.
And this is good as for many, complaining is therapeutic, like listening to blues or Celtic laments.

[Cabarone]

Everybody's view is from the seat they're sitting in...

My late wife passed away in 1998 after a 4-year bout with cancer. She was 44 years old.
Across the board I saw so much selflessness and genuine concern in that time...good in people I didn't think they had in them...her oncologist came to her room one night after 11PM, he'd been called to do an emergency toe amputation but wanted to see her and have a word of prayer w/her before he left.
The staff and volunteers at our local Hospice were so wonderful to us when she spent her last days there after she passed I volunteered as a chaplain there for 5 years (I would still be there but work got in the way)...
What I am trying to get to saying is, a good friend of mine called me during her illness. I asked how he and is new bride were doing in their new life in Oklahoma. He said she was off work due to Carpal Tunnel surgery and it was a real inconvenience. "I'm sorry, Denny; that's nothing compared to what Shirley and you are going through." I told him it was all relative; they had never had any health issues so CT was a big deal. It was.
I guess that's all I wanted to say; hope it came across inoffensively and sorry it took so long.
To the OP I'll keep a good thought and prayer for you and all those around you...

[imwjl]

Originally Posted by We Walk in Song

Very sorry to hear of your troubles.

I can't watch the video linked at the moment, but have no pity. In a whole lot of ways this has helped keep us a tight and tough family. My wife's amazing. I got word my daughter's already had her to and back from hospital to fix the VAC machine problem.

I fear my message is taken wrong. We're hammer down with all this. My wife rode her bike so hard her last day before on the bench she made me hurt. Our 13 y.o. boys biked 16.5 miles to their classes yesterday. Yeah we have tired, scared and down moments but see the current state as our last leg of a hard event.

The pride in how my kids have been in all this is indescribable.

[rmyAddison]

Decades ago I was in Longport NJ, a very wealthy seashore community. I saw a young man stuck in his wheelchair, in the street, wheels stuck in a storm drain at a corner with a high curb.

I stopped, helped him get loose, and pushed him home, he was exhausted and sunburned. The family summer home was a mansion on the bay, Mercedes in the drive, huge boat at the dock. They had millions, he couldn't negotiate a storm drain and curb....

For some reason it has always stuck in my mind, and when I try to throw a pity party (I do have chronic back pain and surgery in the near future) I just say "wheelchair" to myself and get over it.

At 67 I've lost a lot of friends to everything from car accidents to cancer, many folks never even see their 60's............."wheelchair".

[Silly Moustache]

Hi, I spent three hours in the Oncology department this morning for my 5 week check up after six weeks of radio and chemo treatment. My recovery is (I'm told) going well, but to me the pain, and other appalling side effects, are going on forever.

Through every minute of this my poor wife is by my side, and one of the aspects of this cancer journey of mine is the pressure/worry/stress that it puts on her. She is not a patient woman by nature, but she is being wonderful, spending every minute wondering what she can/should do next. There are no words to tell her how much I appreciate her care and efforts. Facts is - we love each other.

However the staff at the hospital in Portsmouth (UK) don't love me, but I can't say enough about the care, attention, and support they give. I sat in the waiting room this morning looking at the other patients - some of which are starting this journey and some like me, or further down a longer and more difficult one.
All of them are greeted and treated with smiles, and loving professional care.

I don't think I am a strong enough person to work in a place like that.

I can't help but smile through the pain and stuff when I think about my last day of treatment when the radiographers gave me a hug as I left.

[Nyghthawk]

I work at a state psychiatric hospital. I work on the geriatric unit. Most of those (patients) with whom I work have had lifelong psychotic symptoms such as incessant voices or horrific visual hallucinations. Some have drastic mood swings. One minute they are laughing at something no one else understands, the next they are crying, the next they are angry and yelling obscenities.

They usually have concurrent diagnoses such as chronic kidney disease, Type II diabetes, etc.

I get up every morning and thank God for things most folks won't even know about.

[rokdog49]

Originally Posted by Nyghthawk

I work at a state psychiatric hospital. I work on the geriatric unit. Most of those (patients) with whom I work have had lifelong psychotic symptoms such as incessant voices or horrific visual hallucinations. Some have drastic mood swings. One minute they are laughing at something no one else understands, the next they are crying, the next they are angry and yelling obscenities.

They usually have concurrent diagnoses such as chronic kidney disease, Type II diabetes, etc.

I get up every morning and thank God for things most folks won't even know about.

Good for you, we all need to do more of that!

Hard things in our lives, even inconveniences test our mettle no matter how big or small they are and build character. As I grow older, I am starting to voice my feelings to people who complain about nonsensical stuff and they don't care for it. Well guess what, I don't care to hear it.

[Otterhound]

Originally Posted by dannyg1

I wish I could claim to have an open mind. The truth is that I havve to fight and check myself constantly in pursuit of one. What I do have though is a ton of experience in one more obscure than not aspect of being a professional musician and I offer up what I've learned in that , warts and all.

Not that anyone on this thread is clued into this, but I'm not looking to be 100% right. I'm looking to outline what a potential buyer can expect from a given product without surprises. There are plenty of products that are 'good enough' for most players that are completely unacceptable to me for one reason or another and I just say why and in that at least, I'm sure that I've done well.

You are not alone in any of this .
We all have warts and scars .
What matters is what you choose to do with them .
I think that you are doing just fine . Continue the struggle .

[flaggerphil]

Is this thread complaining about complaining?

[auggie242]

I'm not overly fond of complainers, and I am one. I seldom get called out on this flaw in my personality, but my favorite time that did happen was a few decades ago. I was whining up a storm over some 1st World problem that I was caught up in and my bother-in-law, recently returned from Viet Nam, had had enough. "Hey!', he finally told me, "Did anyone try to kill you today? No? Then shut up!"

Advice I remember to this day.

[imwjl]

Originally Posted by flaggerphil

Is this thread complaining about complaining?

Yes.

I'll work at not complaining that an earlier Tapatalk attempt didn't allow my one word response.

I can be quick to complain and whine but I also notice when I'm in one of those circles I'll be in the members who take action, and I work at a glass 1/2 full view.

What really got me going or what was in mind was how often I face some who create so much trouble and complication over a whine about nothing.

This is still not being the 100% perfect or healthy or high road but I'll do some complaining in a small circle of leaders or managers to get it out of me and then get to work with a smile for the whole organization. This helps me supervise or lead without an outburst I might regret later.

Happiness vs complaining is something I just force or work at and it helps make things and groups work better. It can be forcing a smile. Last night I was really tired from the prior day's ordeal and did a 15 min on bicycle circle in the neighborhood before making a reply to a tough work situation and supervising kids. It might seem silly but it really did help supervisory or boss responses be positive vs risk a threat response.

Originally Posted by auggie242

I'm not overly fond of complainers, and I am one. I seldom get called out on this flaw in my personality, but my favorite time that did happen was a few decades ago. I was whining up a storm over some 1st World problem that I was caught up in and my bother-in-law, recently returned from Viet Nam, had had enough. "Hey!', he finally told me, "Did anyone try to kill you today? No? Then shut up!"

Advice I remember to this day.

Yeah, I'm always working at not being one or being careful when my inner whiner wants to win.

[GHS]

Originally Posted by flaggerphil

Is this thread complaining about complaining?

Very funny! I think is more venting about the trivial things that lots of folks do complain about that when put up against real difficult life changing problems seem foolish to us. When I hear some folks complain that their 50 dollar steak at Peter Luger's came out too rare or their Audi has a wrinkle in the fabric of the seat I cringe. Try taking care of an elderly person, hour after hour, day after day, year after year. Being in danger of going broke, losing your home to medical /home care bills, not being able to work because of obligations, and getting sick yourself, well, lets not hear about your steak.