New piece in DADGAD, critique and title ideas welcome

[Dustinfurlow]

Hey all,

I've been piecing together this instrumental in DADGAD for a few months now, scrapping parts here and there, rewriting others, testing new techniques while pitching others...I believe I've narrowed it down to two different takes, but am open to new arrangement ideas:

This one is the original format...more lengthy intro and "verse" sections, but with more ideas offered to an active listener. (forgive the small mistakes and string-mutes, its a tough one at times!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKQmTHzF95U

The second version is condensed, and maybe more suited to the listener who wants the gist of the song first, and a re-listen later.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rewK-Gvp-AI

At any rate, I greatly appreciate anyone who'd take the time to offer input or potential song titles, I've thought of maybe "Mosaic" "Secret of the Desert" or "The Oasis" but nothing has stuck to me yet. Thanks AGF fam

[Yoann]

Hi

thanks for sharing
Well I find it nice with a good recording sound and a nice technic.
Maybe a suggestion: from my side, some parts become a bit repetitive (maybe it is also the atmosphere you to create in the tune), so probably you can try from time to time to repeat these melodies but on others areas in the neck,and it would help to create variations (by others appogiatures on open strings for example)
Anyway it is a good work!
cheers

[Kenny B]

I listened to the long version all the way thru and really liked it. Maybe could use a little more in the recording techniques to bring up the volume. Maybe some mastering type of limiting or verb.... But very nice new song, very well played.

[rick-slo]

Listened to the shorter version. Very nicely done. Personally I would chuck the part starting at 2:44 as it
does not fit in with the rest of the piece IMO. Other than that quibble it was great IMO.

[Glennwillow]

Hi Dustin,

I listened to both the long version and the short version and I enjoyed both of them. However, I thought that the shorter version did a better job of grabbing the listener (meaning, me, I suppose).

That is a very ambitious piece, in my opinion. You are lucky to have such nice long fingers!! There are some serious stretches in there! You have clearly worked hard at this and I applaud your efforts! Well done!

I thought in particular that the short version has real possibilities. Yes, it could be recorded a little better; sure, you could add some reverb, but the instrumental, for me, anyway, is pretty cool.

The banjo roll part of the piece starting at 2:44 that rick-slo mentioned is very similar to stuff that Tommy Emmanuel includes in some of his compositions, such as "Never Too Late" and a few others. I think this approach works fine in your composition, too. This banjo roll technique does not emphasize melody quite as much as other parts of your composition, but for me, instrumentals are more than just melody. There is texture, there is movement, and the melody in that part of the piece is a little more disguised because there are a lot of other notes around it.

I have made up instrumental pieces by combining seemingly separate ideas in the same general key, and then piecing them together. These pieces at first can seem kind of disjointed. For myself, I have found that with time, I tend to add other ideas as I get reactions from listeners and delete sections that seem to lose people's interest. All this seems to get worked out over time and while observing the reaction of live listeners. I would not be surprised if you find the same thing over time, though you may not have as much opportunity as I sometimes do in observing live listeners.

Thanks for sharing this! There is some really fine stuff here!

- Glenn

[Glennwillow]

Hi Dustin,

I went back and listened to the short version again.

While I like the entire piece, the part that jumps out the most in the composition for me is from 0-0:34 and then you get back into that at about 3:21. That, to me, is very catchy.

Thanks,
Glenn

[Dustinfurlow]

Originally Posted by Glennwillow

Hi Dustin,

I went back and listened to the short version again.

While I like the entire piece, the part that jumps out the most in the composition for me is from 0-0:34 and then you get back into that at about 3:21. That, to me, is very catchy.

Thanks,
Glenn

I appreciate the detailed feedback man...seriously Im normally a melody-forward player as well and that banjo roll section seemed like a good "turn-around/solo section(?) but I might consider repeating the first variation of it and then maybe adding the rolls later. Thanks again

Originally Posted by rick-slo

Listened to the shorter version. Very nicely done. Personally I would chuck the part starting at 2:44 as it
does not fit in with the rest of the piece IMO. Other than that quibble it was great IMO.

Thanks for the input on that, I hadn't considered it was fairly different in pace and technique to the rest of the song, as I told Glenn I might just repeat the first turn around variation which was slower but more melodic.

Originally Posted by Kenny B

I listened to the long version all the way thru and really liked it. Maybe could use a little more in the recording techniques to bring up the volume. Maybe some mastering type of limiting or verb.... But very nice new song, very well played.

I agree it could definitely use some nice reverb for the percussion parts to breath a bit more and not be so in your face. Thanks bud

Originally Posted by Yoann

Hi

thanks for sharing
Well I find it nice with a good recording sound and a nice technic.
Maybe a suggestion: from my side, some parts become a bit repetitive (maybe it is also the atmosphere you to create in the tune), so probably you can try from time to time to repeat these melodies but on others areas in the neck,and it would help to create variations (by others appogiatures on open strings for example)
Anyway it is a good work!
cheers

This kind of input is what I needed, thank you Yoann!!

[SprintBob]

Nice, my simple and stupid comment is my ear kept wanting you to come back to and make the melody stand out a bit more because the melody is very engaging. I always have Chet Atkins advice in the back of my head that basically says it’s really the melody that hooks the listener and there’s a great melody here. Look forward to hearing your evolution of this piece in the future. Congrats!

[Dustinfurlow]

Originally Posted by SprintBob

Nice, my simple and stupid comment is my ear kept wanting you to come back to and make the melody stand out a bit more because the melody is very engaging. I always have Chet Atkins advice in the back of my head that basically says it’s really the melody that hooks the listener and there’s a great melody here. Look forward to hearing your evolution of this piece in the future. Congrats!

Thank you, Bob, which part would you say is the melody that stands out most?

[TBman]

Without reading your entire OP somehow I also had a desert image in my mind. The title that popped in my head was "Sahara"

I listened to the 2nd version twice. Good job.

[jessupe]

Nice original, I really like the not so standard meter and finger picking rhythm, being in dadgad its obviously got some difficult fingering positions,so good job at pulling that off, I like the fact that you kept the pinch harmonics thingy to a minimum, I do wonder how it would sound on your Larravie

[Dustinfurlow]

Originally Posted by TBman

Without reading your entire OP somehow I also had a desert image in my mind. The title that popped in my head was "Sahara"

I listened to the 2nd version twice. Good job.

Thanks man...I'm glad you heard the same general thing. DADGAD is such a versatile tuning.

Originally Posted by jessupe

Nice original, I really like the not so standard meter and finger picking rhythm, being in dadgad its obviously got some difficult fingering positions,so good job at pulling that off, I like the fact that you kept the pinch harmonics thingy to a minimum, I do wonder how it would sound on your Larravie

Updated video coming soon with the L-05

[Dustinfurlow]

Here's where we're at now, re-recorded with my Larrivee L-05 which I think may have been a better fit - surprisingly. Let me know your thoughts!

Thanks

[Dustinfurlow]

Hey all,
Here's where we're at now...re-recorded and modified with my 03' Larrivee L-05 which seemed to be a better fit for this tune - surprisingly! Let me know your thoughts, I really appreciated the previous input and shared perspectives.

[TBman]

I like the Beneteau on the intro and ending more than the Larrivee, but in between the Larrivee sparkles a bit more.