know thyself!!

[buddyhu]

Originally Posted by amyFB

I don't understand why you feel you have to understand what I understand I said.

I see your ;-) and raise you another ;-)!

[SongwriterFan]

Originally Posted by harmonics101

Personally, I have never given a rats behind how others view me. . . . Caring what other people think about you and trying to adjust your behavior (in my opinion) is a waste of time ,

I'm with you . . . again . . .

At least when it comes to certain subsets of people in certain situations.

One needs to "pick and choose" when he should care about how he comes across and needs to do something about it.

Discussions of certain subjects with certain types of people on certain types of websites (most, really) don't qualify.

On the other hand, at WORK, it's very important. Or should be to most people, IMO. It certainly is to me.

Enough that I'm celebrating the last week or so, when we've managed (for the first time at this company, I believe) to get a significant number of engineers/geologists from an asset team at work and a significant number of "specialists" (petrophysicists, simulation engineers, geo-modelers) to all agree on an approach we took to characterize a field and how to go about modeling it for simulation in a way that allows for us to explore RANGES of answers that are as consistent as possible with multiple sets of data.

It took a significant amount of work on the part of EACH of us to make this happen, but we're all pleased with the results. And management is, too.

[harmonics101]

Okay SongWriterFan - I totally agree with the exception of Work or a Job Interview - ABSOLUTELY - butter up the audience when those two situations are at play ,

H

[SongwriterFan]

Originally Posted by harmonics101

I totally agree with the exception of Work or a Job Interview - ABSOLUTELY - butter up the audience when those two situations are at play ,

Surely you can think of at least another situation or two where you might find it beneficial to expend the effort.

I'm even trying to acknowledge people at work even when I don't think they can be of any benefit to me (at least not in the near future).

They do need to be warned, though (as did one of my favorite waitresses who complained that it took a month or two to get me to acknowledge her and start talking to her) . . . . with me, you can either put up with me not talking much at all or wishing I'd quit talking. So be careful what you wish for.

[harmonics101]

Originally Posted by SongwriterFan

Surely you can think of at least another situation or two where you might find it beneficial to expend the effort.

Women ????????????



H

[SongwriterFan]

Originally Posted by harmonics101

Women ????????????

We have a winner.

[harmonics101]

Originally Posted by SongwriterFan

We have a winner.

I'm not a psychologist but I do play one on the AGF. The original article that PSalad included is quite revealing to those that can take advantage of it. To the other 99% it's drivel though.

H

[buddyhu]

Originally Posted by harmonics101

I'm not a psychologist but I do play one on the AGF. The original article that PSalad included is quite revealing to those that can take advantage of it. To the other 99% it's drivel though.

H

Well, I think your 1% number is rather low but you are course correct: no one thing is going to appeal to everyone. It is quite fitting for people to, in effect, say "not my cup of tea" and move on. Live and let live.

IMO, Your relentless criticism of the article reveals something about you...and it is not a positive feature.

[seannx]

Originally Posted by buddyhu

Well, I think your 1% number is rather low but you are course correct: no one thing is going to appeal to everyone. It is quite fitting for people to, in effect, say "not my cup of tea" and move on. Live and let live.

IMO, Your relentless criticism of the article reveals something about you...and it is not a positive feature.

But he probably doesn't care what you think anyway, and appears to view his statement...

Caring what other people think about you and trying to adjust your behavior (in my opinion) is a waste of time ,

as more of a practical general principle that guides and motivates his behavior. Unless there is something to be gained that falls in the category of self interest or possible benefit, why bother? From that perspective, it is a waste of time. It's also very useful for understanding the tone and content of his posts. That approach to interacting with others may not appeal to you (or me), but it apparently works for him, and how he wants to live. That's certainly a fair choice for him, totally within his or any one else's rights, and lets you know something very useful about his overall life strategy.

One of the things that I've learned participating in open mike, is that the more you find out about the personal philosophies and opinions of various members, it makes it easier to know when responding to a post will be productive, or a waste of time.

[architype]

It isn't about pretending to be someone you are not. It is about acknowledging that we are all different and unique beings. In order to exist together we have to realize that we need to accommodate those around us to a certain degree just as we expect others to accommodate or tolerate us.

When I meet someone new I try to find out about them in a gradual way by asking them about their interests, work, hobbies, family, kids...etc to possibly find some common ground that can become a starting point for a relationship. I steer clear of religion and politics for the same reason the Open Mic does. Those things are personal and not for discussion until your relationship has some firm ground to stand on...even then it is somewhat touchy.

It is about realizing that the world doesn't revolve around me and not being a bull in a china shop in my daily dealings with others.

[buddyhu]

Originally Posted by seannx

But he probably doesn't care what you think anyway, and appears to view his statement...



as more of a practical general principle that guides and motivates his behavior. Unless there is something to be gained that falls in the category of self interest or possible benefit, why bother? From that perspective, it is a waste of time. It's also very useful for understanding the tone and content of his posts. That approach to interacting with others may not appeal to you (or me), but it apparently works for him, and how he wants to live. That's certainly a fair choice for him, totally within his or any one else's rights, and lets you know something very useful about his overall life strategy.

One of the things that I've learned participating in open mike, is that the more you find out about the personal philosophies and opinions of various members, it makes it easier to know when responding to a post will be productive, or a waste of time.

You are absolutely right. Sometimes I do foolish things. Attempting to have an impact in someone who has directly and indirectly indicated that they strive to be impenetrable is a good example of my foolishness.

Thanks for helpful reminder, and for phrasing it in a "nice" way.
D

[Psalad]

Originally Posted by harmonics101

I'm not a psychologist but I do play one on the AGF. The original article that PSalad included is quite revealing to those that can take advantage of it. To the other 99% it's drivel though.

H

I would bet money there are people you care about who wish you were interested. It's just a theory, but I would bet money on it.

[seannx]

Originally Posted by Psalad

I would bet money there are people you care about who wish you were interested. It's just a theory, but I would bet money on it.

Is this a trick post? Are you somehow craftily proposing an incentive to create some interest? Who would get the money from the bet? I think there needs to be some perceived payoff to raise the activity to something worthy of caring about. Regardless, I'm interpreting his position as coming from someone who believes he has an accurate self-knowledge, and acts accordingly.

However I don't agree that only 1% of the population can take benefit from, and take advantage of the content of the article. In any event, I think it provides a good insight into listening, the accuracy of how we think we are coming across, and how to become more aware.

[Denny B]

Originally Posted by buddyhu

That is a little bit like saying you would never take guitars lessons because all the "experts" give different advice: some say use a flatpick, some say use fingerpicks on two fingers, some say pick with flesh of three fingers; some say learn theory first, some say learn the notes on the fretboard first, some say just play songs and gradually learn what is of interest. And besides, it is all available for free online...why would I pay?

OK..to each his own.

I take guitar lessons from a very talented instructor who is helping me learn the basics...I'm pretty sure that some day I'll discover what style I prefer to play...the instructor doesn't get to make that choice for me...

Back on the topic of "experts" tho...

I'm highly amused by the current phenomenon of people hiring "life coaches"..."experts" to help them make important decisions in their professional and personal life...PT Barnum was right...

I've seen websites that will certify you as a "life coach" for $750...

[harmonics101]

Let me clarify the 1% estimate I gave with regards to people interested in the article. There's probably 85% that could benefit from that article as well as adjusting their behavior to accommodate others. Heck , I bet dollars to donuts I am in that 85%.

It's just like someone else stated though - unless there's a benefit for my change - why would I do that ?

H