know thyself!!

[buddyhu]

Originally Posted by Gasworker

I don't think there is a more irritating word then "thyself" maybe the use of the word "one" (not Juan) as a noun tops it.

Yeah, I also get irritable when I don't get a nap. Hope you get some good rest soon.

[D. Shelton]

Originally Posted by buddyhu

Yeah, I also get irritable when I don't get a nap. Hope you get some good rest soon.

oops , reply to wrong post !

[D. Shelton]

Originally Posted by Gasworker

I don't think there is a more irritating word then "thyself" maybe the use of the word "one" (not Juan) as a noun tops it.

"Mano y mano " is pretty annoying , from people who think they're saying "hand to hand" (mostly jocks on TV) .

[Psalad]

Originally Posted by Gasworker

I don't think there is a more irritating word then "thyself" maybe the use of the word "one" (not Juan) as a noun tops it.

One should excuse oneself from conversation if one gets annoyed.

Sorry couldn't resist...

[ewalling]

I remember once reading a definition of the label 'jerk' (British English 'twat'), which seemed to me an interesting one. It said a jerk is a person whose unabashed confidence in his or her supposed abilities and gifts is not shared by those around him/her. The jerk looks in a mirror and sees one heck of a winner, but s/he is the only one who sees that reflection. Coincidentally, I read that definition while working for a boss who would periodically invite members of staff into his office and boast about what a hotshot he was - how he had always been extraordinary, original, inspired. Hmmm ... Taken to an extreme, I think a complete mismatch between how we see ourselves and how others see us could be a form of mental disorder, where we have a skewed understanding of reality.

Another interesting dimension to this question is the sensation we have when we go to live someplace where no one knows us. Because of my work, I've done this on a number of occasions, in Scandinavia, central Europe, South America, and the Caribbean. In the first weeks, sometimes up to a month or two, I've experienced a very odd sense of invisibility. Here I was, in a completely different environment - interesting, yes, but we can forget how important our reflection in others' eyes is to our own sense of identity. When absolutely no one knows you, your hold on who you 'really' are can seem oddly vulnerable. In my early twenties, I found this sensation exciting, but by the age of 28, it was a sensation that left me temporarily down, with a curious sense of pointlessness. That feeling didn't last long, but interestingly it disappeared as I began to have an identity in the eyes of my new colleagues and neighbors. This makes me think that who we are is very much bound up with who we know and what we do with them.

[Otterhound]

Originally Posted by ewalling

I remember once reading a definition of the label 'jerk' (British English 'twat'), which seemed to me an interesting one. It said a jerk is a person whose unabashed confidence in his or her supposed abilities and gifts is not shared by those around him/her. The jerk looks in a mirror and sees one heck of a winner, but s/he is the only one who sees that reflection. Coincidentally, I read that definition while working for a boss who would periodically invite members of staff into his office and boast about what a hotshot he was - how he had always been extraordinary, original, inspired. Hmmm ... Taken to an extreme, I think a complete mismatch between how we see ourselves and how others see us could be a form of mental disorder, where we have a skewed understanding of reality.

Another interesting dimension to this question is the sensation we have when we go to live someplace where no one knows us. Because of my work, I've done this on a number of occasions, in Scandinavia, central Europe, South America, and the Caribbean. In the first weeks, sometimes up to a month or two, I've experienced a very odd sense of invisibility. Here I was, in a completely different environment - interesting, yes, but we can forget how important our reflection in others' eyes is to our own sense of identity. When absolutely no one knows you, your hold on who you 'really' are can seem oddly vulnerable. In my early twenties, I found this sensation exciting, but by the age of 28, it was a sensation that left me temporarily down, with a curious sense of pointlessness. That feeling didn't last long, but interestingly it disappeared as I began to have an identity in the eyes of my new colleagues and neighbors. This makes me think that who we are is very much bound up with who we know and what we do with them.

It is very possible to be an individual within a group .
This individual is typically described as a leader .
You have chosen the security of the herd .
For some , this is not an option .
Just a bit of insight on the definition of a twat/jerk .
There are innumerable examples of the English definition being hogwash .
Although , with England being sooo class conscious , the definition does not surprise me .
I believe that there was a thread about the accomplishments of Winston Churchill here recently .
Either way , I submit him as an English poster child for my claim of hogwash .

[kydave]

Originally Posted by Otterhound

It is very possible to be an individual within a group .
This individual is typically described as a leader .
You have chosen the security of the herd .
For some , this is not an option .

Ah, the rugged individual! Nothing wrong with that for the real ones. But some claim that title merely through a life pattern of obstinacy just to be different, not particularly useful.

They often find their self-imposed-set-off from the herd leaves them as a "leader" of a group of one, rather than actually ever usefully leading anyone.

Jerk/twat are often useful synonyms for such folks. And unfortunately, some folks seem to have no other option than to be such.

[ewalling]

Originally Posted by Otterhound

It is very possible to be an individual within a group .
This individual is typically described as a leader .
You have chosen the security of the herd .
For some , this is not an option .

You seem to have partially misunderstood what I meant. I was suggesting that our construction of who we are, whether that be as party animal or loner 'individual', is in some measure dependent upon others recognizing us as such. Without that reflection, we may have weaker hold on who we consider ourselves to be.

[flaggerphil]

Merriam-Webster dictionary:

Jerk
a : an annoyingly stupid or foolish person
b : an unlikable person; especially : one who is cruel, rude, or small-minded
c : contemptibly obnoxious person.

[D. Shelton]

Originally Posted by ewalling

I was suggesting that our construction of who we are, whether that be as party animal or loner 'individual', is in some measure dependent upon others recognizing us as such. Without that reflection, we may have weaker hold on who we consider ourselves to be.

I'd rather be less dependent on that reflection , and that's the direction things have been evolving in for a long time . Especially on forums, it can take a lot of time and effort to explain (my) life contextually all the time, so that people understand me ('who I am' ) accurately. So much easier to do less explaining , and have less concern with how I'm interpreted

[philo426]

Yep!other people's evaluations are their problem not yours!

[ewalling]

Originally Posted by D. Shelton

I'd rather be less dependent on that reflection , and that's the direction things have been evolving in for a long time . Especially on forums, it can take a lot of time and effort to explain (my) life contextually all the time, so that people understand me ('who I am' ) accurately. So much easier to do less explaining , and have less concern with how I'm interpreted

The thing is, I suspect we really are pack animals like dogs. I think when we get too wound up within ourselves, our connection not only with the reality of the outside world, but also with ourselves can go in strange directions. In fact, one common strand that seems to connect some of the psycho gun-killers who decide one day to go and blast their way through a cinema or an elementary school is that they lacked meaningful contact with people over an extended period prior to the killings. Clearly, there's much more going than simple social isolation in these cases, but it's interesting that they all do seem to have been loners.

[Otterhound]

Originally Posted by ewalling

The thing is, I suspect we really are pack animals like dogs. I think when we get too wound up within ourselves, our connection not only with the reality of the outside world, but also with ourselves can go in strange directions. In fact, one common strand that seems to connect some of the psycho gun-killers who decide one day to go and blast their way through a cinema or an elementary school is that they lacked meaningful contact with people over an extended period prior to the killings. Clearly, there's much more going than simple social isolation in these cases, but it's interesting that they all do seem to have been loners.

I am now waiting for the next monastic mass murderer .
The loner thing tends to be amongst the child/teenager types .
There is so much to be learned in this .
Dennis Rader did what was thought unthinkable , he stopped for years .
This pig of a man was as vicious and hateful as they come . Of a type that was believed to not be able to stop once started .
With this piece of info , it may be learned that his stopping could be more common than previously imagined .
Hopefully , this is recognized and is useful in apprehending others of his ilk .

[D. Shelton]

Originally Posted by ewalling

The thing is, I suspect we really are pack animals like dogs. I think when we get too wound up within ourselves, our connection not only with the reality of the outside world, but also with ourselves can go in strange directions. In fact, one common strand that seems to connect some of the psycho gun-killers who decide one day to go and blast their way through a cinema or an elementary school is that they lacked meaningful contact with people over an extended period prior to the killings. Clearly, there's much more going than simple social isolation in these cases, but it's interesting that they all do seem to have been loners.

Just with myself as an example , it's taklen a long time to go from being cripplingly self-conscious and worried about how I'm percieved , to being much less of both of those things. Of course there is a spectrum in 'normal'
people , with regards to this thing of how important this all is (who we are as it relates to how we're percieved). I was only interjecting how I am much more comfortable now -as opposed to how I was as a kid- acting mostly however I feel like acting , and not worrying , and not being in many positions where it's very critical , what people think . Of course, with 'normal' people, we have a healthy sense of socially acceptable behaviors that's mostly adhered to out of courtesy and decency . Generally speaking , it seems good to have a balance between independence, and self-modifying in the spirit of cooperation , and/or of wanting to fit in and be thought well of.

[Psalad]

Originally Posted by ewalling

I remember once reading a definition of the label 'jerk' (British English 'twat'), which seemed to me an interesting one. It said a jerk is a person whose unabashed confidence in his or her supposed abilities and gifts is not shared by those around him/her. The jerk looks in a mirror and sees one heck of a winner, but s/he is the only one who sees that reflection. Coincidentally, I read that definition while working for a boss who would periodically invite members of staff into his office and boast about what a hotshot he was - how he had always been extraordinary, original, inspired. Hmmm ... Taken to an extreme, I think a complete mismatch between how we see ourselves and how others see us could be a form of mental disorder, where we have a skewed understanding of reality.

Another interesting dimension to this question is the sensation we have when we go to live someplace where no one knows us. Because of my work, I've done this on a number of occasions, in Scandinavia, central Europe, South America, and the Caribbean. In the first weeks, sometimes up to a month or two, I've experienced a very odd sense of invisibility. Here I was, in a completely different environment - interesting, yes, but we can forget how important our reflection in others' eyes is to our own sense of identity. When absolutely no one knows you, your hold on who you 'really' are can seem oddly vulnerable. In my early twenties, I found this sensation exciting, but by the age of 28, it was a sensation that left me temporarily down, with a curious sense of pointlessness. That feeling didn't last long, but interestingly it disappeared as I began to have an identity in the eyes of my new colleagues and neighbors. This makes me think that who we are is very much bound up with who we know and what we do with them.

Thanks for this post. Nicely written.