Performance nerves killing me!

[invguy921]

Originally Posted by Kerbie

I had the benefit of performing a lot when I was a kid, but I haven't done it much as an adult. Why don't you try recording yourself in private? Sorta simulating the public performance when you're actually the only one listening. And then maybe performing in front of one person whom you trust before you add to the audience. I'd do it little by little.

Hope something works for you... good luck.

I like this suggestion. Not to mention, if you have a pet, lock them in the room and play for them! Seriously, it really doesn't matter who you play to, as long as you start putting yourself into that situation and just work through it. I did it with my wife. I told her that she was the "key" to helping me play stuff for people. She's not my "pet" but you get the idea. Really just "DO" at any level and watch your comfort and confidence grow.

[Pnewsom]

It can be a lot easier if you have a partner who can carry things too. That way you are not up there alone. Going solo is the most challenging.

[Reasley]

Originally Posted by jseth

I'm 66 years... been playing in front of people since I was 8. . .

By the way, there is a HUGE difference between a PERFORMER and an ENTERTAINER, in my opinion...

This is a very interesting point and I would love for you to elaborate . . .

[DaveKell]

I used to experience everything you described. I played electric bass in a large orchestra for 14 years and still was nervous everytime. When I went back to guitar it was even more nerve wracking. For the past several months I've been attending a weekly jam. Everyone is required to sing and play a song around the room. I didn't know this the first time I went and nearly froze when the mic came around to me. I played a song I'd known for years and got a big round of applause. I kept going every week despite the anxiety it caused. Gradually I became more and more desensitized to the nervousness. It used to get to me when a few new people would show up, especially if they were great pickers. Anymore, I'm totally relaxed and am in the habit of learning a few new songs every week to perform. I've become one of the favorites there. I also have sprung 3 original songs on them that were well received. I'd say putting yourself out there on a regular basis is the best way to overcome performance anxiety. It's working well for me finally and I'm now to a point where being nervous is an old memory. Good luck!

I'd like to add that getting loosened up on alcohol is a sure way to disaster. I did it once before one of these jams and sucked big time. I'll never forget the advice of a long time friend who is a well known Nashville based writer and performer. He said he got drunk before his first tv appearance and nearly derailed his career.

[amyFB]

I have increased my own confidence as a performer with these kinds of things:
a) recording my practices at home and one day feeling quite satisfied with what I heard;
b) pushing myself to go to the open mic AND believing people when they offered compliments.
c) reminding myself of positive feedback already heard.
d) staying rehearsed on the pieces I learn to avoid clumsy performances.
e) letting my self go into the song while I perform it, dialing OUT the audience and focusing my attention on me and my playing.
f) I practiced hard and finally learned to play through mistakes and not share my awareness of the mistakes with the audience (not during or after the song)


For sure, it took a few years to fully overcome stage fright, but one day, it all came together and the fear of failure went away. Now I'll step up to just about any available mic with a guitar and play and sing for you my current fave song.

good luck to you.

[jseth]

Originally Posted by Reasley

This is a very interesting point and I would love for you to elaborate . . .

Seems to me that the difference between being a "performer" and an "entertainer" is perhaps one of a main "ground of being" or context.

Obviously, this is only my personal "take" on the subject.

An entertainer is, first and foremost, all about the audience and keeping them "happy" - and that may take many different forms for different shows - while a performer is primarily focused on the playing, the songs and the interplay between group members.

I have certainly heard/seen many folks who are both of these, and have done a great job with each... but, again, I think there's a fundamental thrust that is apparent with being an entertainer and being a performer.

Other than "performance artists", I think most artists are performers, first... James Taylor, Carole King, Joni Mitchell, Bob Dylan, Jimmy Webb, Niel Young, these are all good examples of a performer, to me.

I suppose that Vegas lounge acts are the quintessential entertainers; Wayne Newton is the first that comes to mind.

When I perform, I sit on a stage, alone, with 6 and 12 string guitars and a microphone... and I play the music that I hold dear for all to hear... and that's about what I do. I don't usually "do requests", I don't really focus a whole lot on the audience during a song. Pretty "blah" as an entertainer, right?

BUT, I've been doing this a LOOOONG TIME, so there is a certain level of comfort and affability that I bring to each show... in a nutshell, I try to bring Who I Am, in all facets, when I play for folks... sometimes I'll tell stories about the songs or the songwriters (I do many interpretations of other artists' material), or vignettes of my life that led to some of my songs... so, in that aspect, I guess I also "entertain"...

But the music and the song is ALWAYS the primary focus...

That's my 2 cents on the subject of entertaining vs. performing... I'm sure there will be other opinions to follow...

[Wrighty]

Originally Posted by amyFB

I have increased my own confidence as a performer with these kinds of things:

a) recording my practices at home and one day feeling quite satisfied with what I heard;

b) pushing myself to go to the open mic AND believing people when they offered compliments.

c) reminding myself of positive feedback already heard.

d) staying rehearsed on the pieces I learn to avoid clumsy performances.

e) letting my self go into the song while I perform it, dialing OUT the audience and focusing my attention on me and my playing.

f) I practiced hard and finally learned to play through mistakes and not share my awareness of the mistakes with the audience (not during or after the song)





For sure, it took a few years to fully overcome stage fright, but one day, it all came together and the fear of failure went away. Now I'll step up to just about any available mic with a guitar and play and sing for you my current fave song.



good luck to you.

Wow - that’s quite an achievement!

[jasperguitar]

I read once that Joan Baez had a horrible time with anxiety, nerves .. So, if Joan can get nervous, anyone can .. rock on

[phxguy]

I also read that Joni Mitchell had a terrible case of stagefright when she started out.

[Don W]

Originally Posted by DaveKell

I used to experience everything you described. I played electric bass in a large orchestra for 14 years and still was nervous everytime. When I went back to guitar it was even more nerve wracking. For the past several months I've been attending a weekly jam. Everyone is required to sing and play a song around the room. I didn't know this the first time I went and nearly froze when the mic came around to me. I played a song I'd known for years and got a big round of applause. I kept going every week despite the anxiety it caused. Gradually I became more and more desensitized to the nervousness. It used to get to me when a few new people would show up, especially if they were great pickers. Anymore, I'm totally relaxed and am in the habit of learning a few new songs every week to perform. I've become one of the favorites there. I also have sprung 3 original songs on them that were well received. I'd say putting yourself out there on a regular basis is the best way to overcome performance anxiety. It's working well for me finally and I'm now to a point where being nervous is an old memory. Good luck!

I'd like to add that getting loosened up on alcohol is a sure way to disaster. I did it once before one of these jams and sucked big time. I'll never forget the advice of a long time friend who is a well known Nashville based writer and performer. He said he got drunk before his first tv appearance and nearly derailed his career.

I totaly agree with this...Drinking or any drug is out of the question for me. I have struggled with addiction for years and have a nice life now. It is obvious to me how many of us have performance issues...we are in good company...look at how many famous musicians have struggled with addiction and alcoholism. Once you start down this road, it can destroy you. I have been pressured to do solo open mics by well meaning friends and guitarists and have tried to work on this issue ...the anxiety I feel even thinking about it is just not healthy. No is my answer. I have been able to record in a studio and am getting more comfortable with that as well as playing for friends. This will be good enough...there is really no need for me to perform. I am conviced also that some of the greatest guitarists have never been heard.

[Mr. Jelly]

Natural performers have a personality of "look at me!". That is what performing is. A play for attention. Many guitar players want to play guitar and want to do what performers do. At some point they have to prove it out by doing it in front of an audience. So there they stand in front of a room, a quit room, with all eyes and attention on them. The question is are they loving the attention and are they going to up the ante by going for more? If so they are a performer. If not it's time to reevaluate.

[Don W]

Originally Posted by Mr. Jelly

Natural performers have a personality of "look at me!". That is what performing is. A play for attention. Many guitar players want to play guitar and want to do what performers do. At some point they have to prove it out by doing it in front of an audience. So there they stand in front of a room, a quit room, with all eyes and attention on them. The question is are they loving the attention and are they going to up the ante by going for more? If so they are a performer. If not it's time to reevaluate.

You certainly have a point.

[KevWind]

Originally Posted by Wrighty

Thanks all - so many thoughtful and helpful responses. It’s re-assuring to know I am not alone with this.

For me it’s not about the entertaining as much as being able to deliver of my best with other’s listening. I put a lot of effort into learning and playing well and I love my guitars with a passion, so I want to be able to deliver something meaningful to others.

I need to build some confidence in myself and my abilities but need to make sure I know the pieces well enough to maximise my chances.

Thanks again all..

Yes you are correct there are two concurrent and sometimes compounding issues

#1 the typical elevation in nerves that basically everybody gets when switching from playing and practicing alone and then plying in front of people . ( I have been performing off an on since 1967 and still have to focus on breathing before taking the stage

#2 the possible difference between thinking you know a particular piece and actually having it ingrained into muscle memory.

The first one usually gets better and significantly less with time and experience and does take some repetition to get experience . Even if it never goes away entirely .


For the second. Consider what I heard Chris Proctor say about practice
"Amateurs practice until they get it right, Pro's practice until they can't get it wrong" which is relevant whether your doing it for pay or not the goal should be to deliver a Pro quality performance

(Note nobody is perfect, so mistakes will happen) But your ability to move right past a mistake and continue on without mistakes compounding is directly proportional to how well you commited it to muscle memory.

Two things helped me a lot with practice

First make sure you practice virtually every day even if only for 1/2 hour 1 or 2 hours is better, but even 1/2 hour is better than none. And every day is better than 3 or 4 hours a couple times a week .



Second the best way to know #2 is take the one piece you think you know best and play it in the dark . If you can play it in the dark you have a much better chance of overcoming the jitters of performing for others with little or no mistakes AND the ability move past a mistake

[Wrighty]

Originally Posted by KevWind

Yes you are correct there are two concurrent and sometimes compounding issues



#1 the typical elevation in nerves that basically everybody gets when switching from playing and practicing alone and then plying in front of people . ( I have been performing off an on since 1967 and still have to focus on breathing before taking the stage



#2 the possible difference between thinking you know a particular piece and actually having it ingrained into muscle memory.



The first one usually gets better and significantly less with time and experience and does take some repetition to get experience . Even if it never goes away entirely .





For the second. Consider what I heard Chris Proctor say about practice

"Amateurs practice until they get it right, Pro's practice until they can't get it wrong" which is relevant whether your doing it for pay or not the goal should be to deliver a Pro quality performance



(Note nobody is perfect, so mistakes will happen) But your ability to move right past a mistake and continue on without mistakes compounding is directly proportional to how well you commited it to muscle memory.



Two things helped me a lot with practice



First make sure you practice virtually every day even if only for 1/2 hour 1 or 2 hours is better, but even 1/2 hour is better than none. And every day is better than 3 or 4 hours a couple times a week .







Second the best way to know #2 is take the one piece you think you know best and play it in the dark . If you can play it in the dark you have a much better chance of overcoming the jitters of performing for others with little or no mistakes AND the ability move past a mistake

Thanks - in line with my thoughts. Playing in the dark - that I must try!

[amyFB]

Originally Posted by Wrighty

Thanks - in line with my thoughts. Playing in the dark - that I must try!

Doc Watson was blind; I think of that and make myself play with my eyes closed.

interesting how it is not as difficult as imagined.