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  #31  
Old 03-15-2018, 12:36 PM
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Mr. Jelly Mr. Jelly is offline
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Originally Posted by catdaddy View Post
In short I saw no guarantees, no absolutes either with or without children.
Children don't get any guarantees either.
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  #32  
Old 03-15-2018, 03:36 PM
catdaddy catdaddy is offline
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Children don't get any guarantees either.
But they don't make the choice to have parents.
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  #33  
Old 03-16-2018, 02:46 AM
OKCtodd71 OKCtodd71 is offline
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I'm not quite elderly but headed in that direction, no kids. I can tell you one benefit was telling our financial planner we want to retire ASAP and we've no kids to leave money to so we can use it all ourselves.
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  #34  
Old 03-17-2018, 09:34 PM
WilliamTK1974 WilliamTK1974 is offline
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I'm about to turn 44, divorced eight years, and no kids. At some point after the divorce was finalized, I decided that being a parent was a responsibility that I didn't need to take on. I told that to my own parents, and while I could sense a certain amount of disappointment, they understood that I thought pushing 40 was awfully late to be starting a family. In truth, I'd never felt a tremendous urge to be a parent and can only imagine how hard the divorce would have been had children been involved. It could come to be something I regret later in life, but right now, I don't see how I could care for a child and make everything else work, too. It may be fulfilling for some, but the consensus seems to be that it's the scariest and hardest thing they've ever done.

As far as my relationship with my parents goes, it's good, but I spent a lot of my younger years raging about the fact that I wasn't an adult, not always taking joy in being young and having few responsibilities, wanting to live anywhere but where I did, and with anyone other than my family. So, I'm trying to spend more time with them because I can.
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  #35  
Old 03-18-2018, 05:35 AM
Twelvefret Twelvefret is offline
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This is a fascinating thread, because I have three children and 9 grand children. I needed to understand what it means to be childless and okay with that prospect. Thank you for relating your experiences.

I once volunteered cuddling premature infants at a local NICU with a lovely female that had no children. To watch her hold a tiny baby was a sight to see. She held it like a sack of potatoes. There was nothing about it that was intuitive for her.

I am sure that had I never been a father or grand father my life would have been different. I would probably have gotten into some sort of obsession since that's the way I am made. However, the need to work to support a family was always a need I had to address. Having a family probably was the reason for the success that I have enjoyed.
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  #36  
Old 03-19-2018, 06:57 AM
PorkPieGuy PorkPieGuy is offline
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I am sure that had I never been a father or grand father my life would have been different. I would probably have gotten into some sort of obsession since that's the way I am made. However, the need to work to support a family was always a need I had to address. Having a family probably was the reason for the success that I have enjoyed.

If I hadn't have had kids, I would definitely be more of a selfish person than I am now. I'd DEFINITELY be sitting pretty financially. I'd have a smaller house, more money in the bank, and a better car. However, my kids are worth the price; they have made me a better human being. I'm more understandable, patient, and giving because of them. My life is definitely not about me anymore, that's for sure, but I'm better for it.

If I hadn't ever gotten married? I'm not joking whenever I say that if it weren't for my wife, I'd probably be gone.
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  #37  
Old 03-19-2018, 07:32 AM
RedJoker RedJoker is offline
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If I hadn't have had kids, I would definitely be more of a selfish person than I am now. I'd DEFINITELY be sitting pretty financially. I'd have a smaller house, more money in the bank, and a better car. However, my kids are worth the price; they have made me a better human being. I'm more understandable, patient, and giving because of them. My life is definitely not about me anymore, that's for sure, but I'm better for it.
I think this is really great what having kids did for you. I just hope you don't assume that having kids is the ONLY way to be understandable, patient and giving and that people without kids are ALL selfish. As someone without kids, that's most of the assumptions that I hear.
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  #38  
Old 03-19-2018, 08:10 AM
PorkPieGuy PorkPieGuy is offline
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I think this is really great what having kids did for you. I just hope you don't assume that having kids is the ONLY way to be understandable, patient and giving and that people without kids are ALL selfish. As someone without kids, that's most of the assumptions that I hear.
Not at all.

One of my best friends at work is 10 years old than me and doesn't have kids. We give each other a hard time about each other's living situation all of the time. When he tells me he's tired, I say something like, "I bet doing whatever you want, whenever you want, must be exhausting!" Then he'll say something like, "Yup, the 10 straight hours of sleep I will get tonight will do me a lot of good!" Then, I'll say something like, "You suck!" and we will have a laugh and get on with our day.
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