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#31
12-19-2017, 02:21 PM
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Open mics are genuinly the best way to go in terms of becoming a better performer. You may find it much much easier performing in front of strangers than family, I know I do.
Learn you songs well and get yourself to an open mic, you will mess up a few times but the more practice you get the less you will mess up and the less it will bother you when you do. Good luck.
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"All I can be is me.....whoever that is" Bob Dylan 1934 Gibson Kalamazoo KG11 www.reverbnation.com/jamesascott 
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#32
12-19-2017, 02:29 PM
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I also somewhat zone out when performing solo. And I agree, it's easier to perform for strangers than close friends/family--partially for that reason, that I can't zone out and focus on the piece when I know the folks in the room.
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----------------------------------- Creator of The Parlando Project Guitars: 20th Century Seagull S6-12, S6 Folk, Seagull M6; '00 Guild JF30-12, '01 Martin 00-15, '16 Martin 000-17, '07 Parkwood PW510, Epiphone Biscuit resonator, Merlin Dulcimer, and various electric guitars, basses....
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#33
12-19-2017, 04:05 PM
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I have had some experience with intense stage fright. Shaky hands and the whole bit. I have gotten much better but it has taken some time and some strategies over time to improve and better manage my stage fright symptoms.
A few things that have helped me: - Practicing the song so I can play it while I am watching television at the same time. It is in my muscle memory. - Practicing/playing in front of a trusted friend and just let myself shake through the whole thing. - Before I go out and perform, I spend a few moments in a quiet space away and shake out my body, my hands and arms, my legs and feet, my head. It disperses the energy. Then before I take my place I take a moment to make sure that the energy in my body is grounded in my feet, not my head. I also connect with my heart so I am in touch as to why it is important for me to share the music. - I also have essential tremor so my hands usually shake a bit anyway and that can become more pronounced with stage fright. I have a low dose prescription of propranolol (Also called Inderal). It is a beta blocker that my doctor prescribes to me specifically for my hand tremors and stage fright issue. I only take it once in a while now before I perform. For me, it helped with the shaking in the beginning and helped me get over that initial hurdle. Now I hardly use it at all. Many professional performers use it but you would definitely have to consult a physician. I am not advocating it but mention it since it has been a crucial part of my journey towards managing my stage fright most effectively and helped me gain some needed confidence which in turn helped me perform without it in many situations. Nothing takes the place of practicing and getting comfortable - that comes from performing more often and giving yourself the experience of settling in and relaxing into the music and trusting yourself. Best of luck and as others have said, you will get there! Jayne
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#34
12-20-2017, 01:42 PM
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nerves
This subject hits me square. I think I am a perfectionist and put so much pressure on myself that I choke.
I have come up with an idea however. I am trying to learn how to put together my own compositions, that way I am not "compared" to the original artist. Trying to sound as good after two years as someone that has played their entire life is unreasonable. If you are playing original stuff, the expectations of your audience cannot set any standard. If it sounds pleasing to the ear, they will love it. My son plays pretty much his own style and music, and I always find myself enjoying his uniqueness. It's almost always interesting, and i have nothing to compare it to so it's original and your ear wants hear more. I feel the same way about singers. For example, on the Voice TV show, when amateurs are singing Whitney tunes(pick your own here) and they just cannot quite measure up to the original, you really notice it. It's glorified Karaoke. However when someone sings a song you have not heard before, or takes an original and truly make is "their own", and performs it well, you find yourself judging it on it's own merit, not comparing. People don't get famous for singing other people's songs. They must be able to write their own, and have a different "sound" to "make it." I have no aspirations to become famous in the music business, just be able to put some chords, notes together to make some pleasing noise.
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2015 Santa Cruz 1929-000 Sunburst 2011 Collings OM German deep body Fender Telecaster thinline Warmoth telecaster
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#35
12-20-2017, 03:15 PM
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Did it tonight on the piece I know best and got 95% through it ok - surprised me!
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Burguet AC-007 (2003 - Cedar/Rosewood) Webber OM (2009 - Sitka/Sapele) https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8A...2TVEhWes2Djrig
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#36
12-20-2017, 03:24 PM
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This hits the nail squarely on the head - I cant bear to offer up a poor performance, especially when I know how much better I can play it. Recently I visited a very old friend of mine who is en ex guitar teacher and my mentor. I had learned some pieces knowing we would play and I would have something to show him and make him proud. He asked me to play him something as I expected - it was an absolute bloodbath and I barely hit a note correctly. He is not judging me harshly and I know him very well, but I just froze up.
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Burguet AC-007 (2003 - Cedar/Rosewood) Webber OM (2009 - Sitka/Sapele) https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8A...2TVEhWes2Djrig
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#37
12-20-2017, 03:31 PM
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You may find this interesting...
http://theinnergame.com/inner-game-b...game-of-music/ I can remember reading it (maybe mid 1990s?) and the things I learned have definitely stayed with me. Highly recommended 😊
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"Discovery is as much a productive activity as creation." - David Friedman
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#38
12-20-2017, 03:37 PM
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I bought this last week funnily enough - just started it! Thanks..
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Burguet AC-007 (2003 - Cedar/Rosewood) Webber OM (2009 - Sitka/Sapele) https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8A...2TVEhWes2Djrig
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#39
12-20-2017, 04:17 PM
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__________________
"Discovery is as much a productive activity as creation." - David Friedman
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#40
12-20-2017, 05:49 PM
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Hi, I've helped a fair few folks with this issue.
Here's my take on it. 1. Stage fright is simply a matter of being nervous. 2.What ARE nerves? (in this context). They are the instinctive response to something that our mind/body interprets as a danger or conflict - "fight/flight". 3. "Know your enemy" - when you get those nerves, understand that it is because your mind/body is reacting as above. 4. Tel yourself that there is no tiger about toattack you and the audience are not an enemy tribe .... it's just about performing a it of music,no need for cld sweats, stiffened fingers, choked throat etc. Remind yourself of this. 5. Work to accept the above and do whatever helps you - slow deep breaths, a little physical exercise (esp. warm up your hands - guidance on YouTube). 6. Meet your audience - make eye contact (I select four or more people who seem responsive to a smile or joke and move my attention around them - glancing at them ... (but not for so long that it may seem creepy!) Talk to your audience between numbers, intro the songs, thank them, tell VERY short stories etc., not too fast, not too much (don't ramble) - this is building a relationship with a group of people, which can be a lovely experience, once you learn to manage it. 7. The art of playing well is only partly about playing everything - it is also about keeping going and not showing the error to the audience. Chances are they will not even be aware of it,and even if they did they'll think "huh?" and then forget about it ... you do the same and carry on. Remember these: a) no-one "wants" you to mess up. b) most won't notice anyway - unless you stop or show it on your face c) No-one will consider you a"failure" because playing isn't a competitive sport (unless it is a competition at a bluegrass festival - which is just showing off and not musical). d) there are STILL no tigers or enemies with weapons- at least not in the UK - I can't speak for where you live). and finally ..... Never think that you have to be as "good"as the great musicians you most admire" (don't believe all those "play like Joe Bloggs" products). No-one will ever play like you as well as you - and you don't have to be perfect, fast or whatever, it's just about enjoying entertaining whoever is in front of you. BTW - family and friends are the WORST audience. NEVER NEVER fool yourself that alcohol or drugs will make you a better performer - stick to still water until you are off stage , then it's up to you - as long as you aren't driving. Last thoughts, as you become more confident in yourself and your abilities , you'll still get "nerves" but you'll feel them as excitement about doing something you love....if not - try golf. I really hope this helps and please ask more questions.
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Silly Moustache, Just an old Limey acoustic guitarist, Dobrolist, mandolier and singer. I'm here to try to help and advise and I offer one to one lessons/meetings/mentoring via Zoom!
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#41
12-20-2017, 10:37 PM
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Better living through chemistry!
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#42
12-21-2017, 03:34 AM
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There's an old saying, that 'the lie tastes sweet in the beginning but bitter at the end and the truth tastes bitter in the beginning but sweet at the end', which just about sums the whole drink and drugs thing up for me. Anything that masks the symptoms so you can ignore the root cause is a lie, will taste sweet in the beginning, but WILL eventually turn bitter. It's like painting a rusty bike, the rust will always come back to the surface if you didn't treat the original problem by thinking all you really had to do was 'mask' it (and the manufacturers of such 'masking' products will tell you whatever they want you to believe, just as long as your using their products!) I know a young lad who was telling me about some new 'smart' drug he was using and he made reference to the film 'Inception', and how it was based on this particular drug (whose name was instantly forgettable!), which is just sad beyond words for those of us paying attention. Thoreau once said something along the lines, 'for every thousand hacking at the branches, there's only one hacking at the root' and I'm certain that if you (the OP) keep reading the Inner Game, taking the mostly excellent advice in this thread, and learning how to deal effectively with the natural responses of the 'thinking mind' it will take you a little longer (the bitter truth) but will be worth it (worthy/sweet) in the end. Also, if you've never tried ACT (acceptance and commitment training/therapy) I simply cannot recommend it enough as it is the best little system of awareness (in particular of the vital distinction between the 'observing' and 'thinking' minds) of what's actually going on inside you I've ever come across (in fact, there's not really anything new in there, it's just tried and tested truths and great ideas really neatly put together etc.) An excellent starting point is 'the Happiness Trap' by Russ Harris, which I can't recommend enough. Here's to playing the long game/keeping it 'real'. [emoji109][emoji4]
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"Discovery is as much a productive activity as creation." - David Friedman Last edited by Martie; 12-24-2017 at 06:09 AM.
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#43
12-21-2017, 05:45 AM
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__________________
Silly Moustache, Just an old Limey acoustic guitarist, Dobrolist, mandolier and singer. I'm here to try to help and advise and I offer one to one lessons/meetings/mentoring via Zoom!
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#44
12-21-2017, 02:33 PM
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#45
12-24-2017, 05:55 AM
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Here's an example - about 15 years ago I heard a radio advert asking for people to participate in a survey to see how may people suffered dromedary a new 'disease' called social anxiety (or social phobia as they were calling it at the time). Basically, the drug company running the survey had described the 'symptoms' of shyness and introversion as if they are a disease that needs a cure. They had already produced a drug and all they had to do to get the FDA to approve their new product, sorry, 'cure', is to get enough people to agree to suffering from those 'symptoms', which were things like getting nervous when speaking in public, blushing, getting sweaty palms etc, you know, the stuff that makes us human! It's also worth noting that we live in a society that worships and elevates extroversion (and the ultimate expression of the hideous/monstrous crossover of 'celebrity' and 'politics' has certainly been exemplified in recent times!) and that it is extremely remiss of us, as a society, to de-value the essential balancing role that both extroversion and introversion (and indeed all 'opposites' have) and to demonise, medicalise, drug and suppress perfectly normal and valid aspects of our humanity is having massive and far reaching consequences. The above example of how a drug company managed to get their product onto the market, whilst convincing millions of shy/introverted people that they have a disease can be described as follows: Problem - the drug company, who care about nothing whatsoever other than profit, create a problem by turning normal human attributes into a model of disease. This they do in a way that will appeal to shy and introverted people who are no doubt struggling to thrive in an overly extroverted society, making them feel understood and 'valued'. Reaction - the people, who now feel that their 'symptoms' have finally been recognised, 'react' by asking questions along the lines of, 'ok, so I've got this disease, what can be done about it, what's the cure?' Solution - the company who created the problem in the first place sells the solution (in the form of medication) and makes an absolute killing in the process. By taking valium before a performance your friend is denying himself the opportunity to learn from his feelings/emotions etc. For example, he clearly puts himself under too much pressure and is overly keen to gain the approval of others. And I'm not criticising him for that, but here's an example from my own experience: My wife left me for another man a few years ago and without getting into the details it was the most crushing experience of my life, not least because I absolutely adored her and had allowed myself to believe she was a very different person to who she turned out to be (hindsight really is a wonderful thing!) I had been a heavy drinker when I was younger and it was tempting to turn to alcohol again for some kind of solace. I can even remember 'friends' encouraging me to have a drink, to 'cheer myself up' but I told them straight: that I needed to feel the pain and learn from it; to process my feelings and to make any necessary changes; to learn and grow, which, to me at least, meant lots of reading and introspection etc. The very worst thing I could have done would have been to turn to drink/drugs - to have 'masked' the feelings I needed to process and work on, which would have denied me the opportunity to genuinely move forward as opposed to staying stuck in the past. And this is the problem I've always found with people who use drugs to mask and cope with 'problems'. They often end up getting older without really maturing, because whenever they have a problem, they don't see it as a gift (never mistake the wrapping for the gift!) that is teaching them something, literally affording the opportunity to learn and grow - they view it as a problem that is to be pushed away and suppressed. The thing is though, life really doesn't work that way and the things we mask/suppress don't just melt away, they lurk in the shadows and control us outside of our conscious awareness. What they also do is demand our attention until they're resolved, which is why, more often than not, life's little disasters are the genius of the subconscious mind, forcing us to work on the lessons we've been arrogant enough to think we can simply ignore. Has your friend ever spent time exploring the following questions: Why do I get so nervous? What am I so desperate to prove, and why? What can I learn from this, and how would this be beneficial to me in other areas of my life? Etc... Many years ago I went to see the family doctor, who was about to retire. His parting words to me were, and I shall never forget these: "I've been a doctor for 40 years and as I retire I can tell you I am thoroughly ashamed of my profession. We are glorified sales reps for the pharmaceutical industry, which cares for nothing but profit, regardless of the human cost. They train us in their pseudo-science, wine and dine us by sending pretty girls in short skirts to convince us to use their products whilst paying us considerable commission when we do. Yes, we are good at mending and repairing the physical body, but we have no idea about the nature of disease because nature has been completely taken out of the equation by a cold and ruthless industry. Please do all you can to avoid taking our products, look into nature, understand your own mind and body, never view doctors as 'experts', be an active participant rather than a passive recipient when dealing with your own health and always remember that so called 'alternative' medicine and good old fashioned prevention are not the 'alternatives' at all..." He was a total dude and I wish there were more like him[emoji109]
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"Discovery is as much a productive activity as creation." - David Friedman Last edited by Martie; 12-24-2017 at 03:46 PM.
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