boy, that didn't go so well...

[shawlie]

I love reading the inspiring open-mic stories - people who might be a little nervous, but get over it and end up enjoying the set and doing a good job despite the nerves. How in the world they can do it, is to me a mystery and I only have great respect for you all!

I did a less than perfect open-mic last year, and Friday played a song in a song festival with some other guys (my wife and a friend sang, and two friends were on washboard and bass, my wife kazooed, too).

Determined to do a better job this time, I practiced a lot and tried to be positive about the up-coming night. I could play it like I wanted 9 out of 10 times.

Well, the three soundchecks went ok, the last one was more or less perfect, which boosted my confidence a bit. The nerves seemed to die down a little.

A few hours later, we played it for real. We took our places, I started playing. It was then I started shaking, and started feeling pretty miserable in general. I somehow made it through the first third without a mistake, but then missed a note. That didn't help much, so I decided to start missing some more (probably five or six after that, and near the end missed a chord change).

I also made the same mistake of playing too fast - the song should have lasted 3:11, we were done in 2:39. I just couldn't keep up with myself anymore. There was a little break near the end, I tried to slow it down when we came back in, but the other guys didn't pick up on it (so that sounded a little rough, too for a chord or two). At one point, I just thought "o well", and strummed a few chords instead of picking them, knowing I'd have missed a few more notes if I'd have kept going (which wasn't very nice for the bass player, of course...).

It's like my picking hand transforms into some type alien claw, and it is not possible to regain control over it. In our other band, we had just done a few (rock/punk) songs live on the radio a month or two ago, which went well. But as soon as I try picking that acoustic in public, I'm a mess.

So yesterday, I didn't play at all and today got out my electric again. I mean, why bother trying fingerpicking if I'll never be able to even play a simple song in public anyway?

But I soon tired of that (and feeling like an idiot because I messed up) and decided to play my Larrivee, instead.

This isn't meant to be a self-pitying type of post, I'm glad I at least tried it. I do feel bad that maybe I let the other guys and my wife down a little bit, because I made the most mistakes (but maybe they just can feel better that I "won" that little contest...).

It's more just a (slightly lenthy) post about how I find it strange that I love playing acoustic fingerpicking, but at the same time it scares the hell out of me. It's so easy to make a mstake, and I guess I just have to get over that (or never make another mistake in my life, but that seems slightly unrealistic...).

[weatherford]

I hate to tell you, but it never stops...

I have a song that I wrote almost 35 years ago and I have only once gotten a good recording of it (that was on the radio - and do I have a copy? Heck, no!!

I even went into a studio on Friday to try, once again, to record it - and it is horrible!

I spent a day in the Fast Folk studio in NY - at THEIR request - to record it for their magazine - and I couldn't do it (extenuating circumstances that I have mentioned before but... )

So, you aren't alone - the real key in a live performance is to pretend NOTHING IS WRONG!! 9 time out of 10 no one notices unless it shows on your face, in your body language, etc!! Believe me, this even work in front of a crowd of musicians (who happen to be the WORST audience imaginable

Do it and do it often. Every week find a place to play. If there isn't place, MAKE one - con the local pub into letting you do a 20 minute set for free (or for drinks/dinner or something like that). The more you are in front of an audience, the easier it gets... well, sort of

[66strummer]

I can still blow it on songs I've done many many times. But I think you are thinking too much when you're in front of people. It's likely just lack of experience playing in a public environment. All you need to focus on is what you're doing. Forget about the crowd. A lot of times we are our own worst enemies. Focus more. Think less. You'll get it!

[kristalmusic]

shawly, I fear it is perfectly normal..
happens to me all the time, even when I start recording on my own as soon as I hit the red button my fingers tangle up..
it allways takes me several attempts before I get a bit easy with the whole recording thing
I think it s that feeling that THIS is the moment, you have to do it right NOW..and when you are up on a stage and the audience is watching you, you can feel the expectation from all sides, the audience, your bandmembers, everyone wants you to do a good job.
and it all has to happen within those three or four minutes
I m glad I allways have a second guitarist with me, that can cover up my mistakes haha, it feels so vulnerable if you have to pick that guitar on your own, every single note can be heard..

I completely understand how it feels, but please keep at it, because you are so talented and have a great feeling for the music..
my experience is that people usually don t hear half of the mistakes you think you are making..try to look as if you know what your doing..they will believe you .. a little bluff poker has helped me on many occasions

[woodruff]

i would keep at it shawlie. cause you can tell that you really turlly love it. and the more you do it, the more you will get comfortable with the reality that a performance without a mistake is is not a performance at all.

[Bob1131]

Originally Posted by 66strummer

I can still blow it on songs I've done many many times. But I think you are thinking too much when you're in front of people. It's likely just lack of experience playing in a public environment. All you need to focus on is what you're doing. Forget about the crowd. A lot of times we are our own worst enemies. Focus more. Think less. You'll get it!

Exactly! The way I overcame stage fright was to pretend no one was there and just focused on playing. It's like working on a ladder...it's when you look down that you get nervous! Don't look down and just focus on the music.

Originally Posted by shawlie

... I guess I just have to get over that (or never make another mistake in my life, but that seems slightly unrealistic...).

Only "slightly" unrealistic??? lol Yep, you just need to get over it!!

[woodruff]

Originally Posted by Bob1131

It's like working on a ladder...it's when you look down that you get nervous! Don't look down and just focus on the music.

great analogy! +1

[rmyAddison]

Shawlie,

You can give up or you can beat it, as Yoda said "there is no try".

I think you're very talented and you're letting stage fright, which most folks get and have to overcome, grow into some mental monster......it is not real.

I've been playing for 40 years and had major stagefright when I first started, now my biggest problem is my mind drifting then snapping back and realizing I'm in the middle of a song on stage, it does get easier with time.

1) The audience wants you to succeed
2) If you plan on making mistakes you will
3) If you can play it perfectly at home you can play it perfectly on stage, if you can't it's not ready for stage (big rule, not ready don't play it)
4) YOUR EXPECTATIONS BECOME REALITY. Expect your next performance to be the turning point where you relax and have so much fun you can't wait to perform again. If you expect to choke you will. Expect a great performance and believe that is what will happen, expect it and believe it.
5) Repeat #1 - The audience wants you to succeed

We all want you to succeed. In some things in life you don't get second chances, with performing you do, that's a gift. Picture in your mind how happy you will be after a good performance, how happy your wife will be, how you will be dying to post about how well it went on this forum. Really imagine the whole scenario after a good performance, play it over in you mind, that's a future memory you want to make reality.....believe it and choose it!

You can do it!

[missouri.picker]

'Alien Claw'? that is classic I don't have that problem but I have been known to speed things up or even slow things down way too much, like a blues song that crawls and the people just put up with it. Hang in there, do you realize that many (and I do mean many) players never even get up the guts or repritore to do open mic night. One idea is to take a public speaking class at your local junior college, it could help you with the stage jitters. IMHO
Donnell

[shawlie]

Thanks for reading (even though it was pretty long!) and I do appreciate all the advice, tips, encouragment and experiences of all you folks who have been doing these kinds of things.

I know I'll have to do it more often to get over that feeling, but once you've done it, felt pretty miserable while doing it, it's so hard to even think about repeating it. But now it's been a couple of days, and most of the feeling "stupid" is gone, I know I'll just have to keep trying til it's less of a drama.

It's not even that I mind if I make some mistakes (because I know I'll be making them as long as I play), it's just how stressful I felt doing it. I love playing guitar, but I let my nerves take all the joy out of it.

And I believe in the positive visualization, and will certainly keep trying those types of things (for relaxation and a more positive outlook for the next time).

Again, thanks for reading and sharing all the good advice and experiences - as always, a wonderful place to learn a lot from some great people.

[rdm321]

I've had similar experiences. "The alien claw" is a fine metaphor - you could use in in a lyric!

I also tend to speed up when playing. It's particularly bad if I'm alone, with no other players to help me keep time.

The best solution is to keep at it. I've found that I make fewer mistakes if I'm playing more often.

cheers
R

[rjacobs]

Hi shawlie...I used to get "stage fright" too - the irony is, the more I played, the less I had it, until it just went away. One thing that helps me is realizing that I'm basically playing a song for my friends (there's almost always someone in the audience that I know), and that it's okay to screw up. Most screw-ups, no one will even notice. Major screw-ups, you can usually just have a laugh about it ("that wasn't how I practiced it!", etc.) and move on. The more fun I'm having, the easier it is to play!

[actaylor]

Shawlie,

As has been said, an open mic is usually a friendly and supportive audience. In fact, that's what they're for...to work out some of the bugs and get some experience.

As far as speeding up is concerned, I've noticed that a lot folks who usually play music alone have a hard time keeping regular rhythm with other musicians. (This often happens in a bluegrass jam that I take part in.) I encourage everyone to practice with a metronome. It really helps you figure out if you have a tendency to pick up speed in certain portions of a song.

The main thing, though, is to keep at it. You won't get better at it, unless you keep doing it. Good luck, and please keep us posted. We rooting for you!

Alan

[Yamaha Man]

A musician practices a song until he gets it right, a professional musician practices a song until he can't play it wrong.

[taropatch]

Originally Posted by Bob1131

It's like working on a ladder...it's when you look down that you get nervous!

I like the analogy too.

You deserve tremendous credit for jumping in there and trying. Chalk it up to experience because it counts. The fear is a natural human "fight or flight" response. Take a deep breath and play!

Since you started off okay, it sounds like you may have stopped breathing (or turned to shallow/paniced breathing.) Keep your breathing deep - stomach breathing - which should help you stay relaxed.

It sounds like you enjoy playing music. Mentally, you should be thinking that you are there to share your music. And people listening are there to support you. Like already mentioned, they want you to succeed.

Another idea is that playing gigs as background music can help. The pressure is off because all eyes are not on you. It can be a good way to work up your confidence and finger picking in front of a crowd. Good luck! Just jump back in that performing saddle and go!