Sundown Troubadour (original)

[SalFromChatham]

I only recently started writing more songs. I hope you like this one, and feel free to tell me what you think would help it / critique away.

I am not a pro (nor do I want to be); I just want to write songs as best as I can as a hobby.

Great stuff Sal! I liked it.

[Pitar]

Good song. Very solid, lyrically interesting and engaging. Good vocals and great harmonies, too.

Two small things -

I was thinking about a middle break out as a sort of relief dynamic. The song is good and could get by without it but I think it's another point of dynamic interest to explore. It could another two lines of lyrical or instrumental uniqueness that take us out and back in.

The closing inclusion of the dagnabbit word is not needed at all as the preceding lyrical message already talks to that part of the soul, so to speak, and it doesn't add anything not already profound.

Thanks for putting this up. Again, good song and well written.

[SalFromChatham]

Pitar, thanks for the thoughtful suggestions. Let's say I want to insert a little "solo" of some sort... like after the second verse, would you go guitar or mandolin?

And thanks for helping me think through this.

[reeve21]

Very Nice, Sal. I hear a little Beatles influence in the vocal at the beginning of the chorus and in the outro. Bravo!

Bob

[Pitar]

Originally Posted by themissal

Pitar, thanks for the thoughtful suggestions. Let's say I want to insert a little "solo" of some sort... like after the second verse, would you go guitar or mandolin?

And thanks for helping me think through this.

You give us a hint about the first person in this song (let's say it's you), in the context of the relationship you introduce us to with a younger woman, and then assure us she's better off without (you). Why?

That unexplained curiosity you've left us with has a further purpose where, on a slight melody deviation, takes us away to explain it and then returns us to the basic melody and song. To my ear, the song's character is more suited to that kind of break than an instrumental one because it's a lyrical journey you have us on.

Like I said, that doesn't necessarily need to happen but the lyrical honesty of the song leaves it open enough to add it without risking TMI.

[delaorden9]

Hi Sal.... I am just listening to your song now.... and it is very good, nice melody, rhythm.... believe me, better than many out there in the charts. Thanks for sharing.