ever join a band?

[aviatornation]

I was thinking after some period of training that I would join a rock band.Have any of you ever been in a band?What did you like and dislike?Thank you

[ljguitar]

Originally Posted by aviatornation

...Have any of you ever been in a band?What did you like and dislike?Thank you

Hi aviatornation...

Yes I have…several.

Most unruly, out of control, non-cooperative, self-centered players with egos I've ever been associated with. Started well, ended otherwise…

It's why I've been part of an acoustic duo with my best friend the past 10 years.

[islander53]

A band becomes a second family. You'll love/hate each other; the degree of either emotion varies with mileage. Personnel changes, and the constant underlying knowledge that you may someday be one of the changes is all part of it. Egos will clash and egos will drive the music. The positives are never 100%, but neither are the negatives. And if you're lucky enough to join with a group of musicians who can actually play well together, it's awesome.

Go for it, get the group experience, and in time you'll figure out where you belong.

[JonPR]

I joined my first band (acoustic folk-blues, not rock) 9 months after starting to learn guitar; and have been in countless bands in the 47 years since then, often 3 or 4 at the same time: folk, blues, rock, jazz, soul, Latin, you name it. I've played bass, keys, mandolin and banjo as well as guitar. (It's an addiction and I can't kick it now...)

What I like:

1. It's a gang of mates (at least at the start). With some band members, you can end up forming the strongest friendships you'll ever have.

2. It's the ideal musical experience - because music is a special language, and being in a band means having a conversation. (No good speaking a special language just to yourself...)

3. If you're not a singer, and/or are normally shy, it offers a fairly painless route to public performance, which is (IMO) the prime purpose of music. (Not just a private conversation between musicians, but a communication with people in general, especially in crowds gathered together for the purpose - a real deep and primal human experience.)

What I dislike:

1. What starts out as a gang often ends up as a marriage (a bad one). You grow apart. You develop different tastes and interests. Maybe your musical skills grow ahead of the others (or theirs do of yours). But you feel you have to stay together, maybe because you can't see any alternative. (You're addicted to the other stuff... no, not the drugs, the gigs...)
In the rock world, playing with other bands is usually seen as "being unfaithful"; it can lead to "divorce" (because wanting to do it in the first place is often a sign of disaffection). In jazz this isn't an issue, because line-ups are rarely fixed anyway; it's more a case of a band leader, plus anyone he can get for this gig or recording.

2. It can cause problems with your relationships outside the band - eg, your (actual) marriage/girlfriend. Your day job (if you're unfortunate enough to need one, as most of us do). Can you get an afternoon off work - or get out of a family event - to get to an important gig? What if you can't? Will the band get a dep who ends up being better than you?
(Of course this is also a problem if you're in more than one band at the same time; suppose they both get a booking on the same night? first come first served? or are there more complicated loyalty issues?? Answer: yes, always...)

3. The occasional feeling that the "likes" (see above) are all just fantasy; just an inability to grow up. You're "just playing"; you need to get a real job, be a man, do right by your family, etc. (Banish this one from your mind! It's just the protestant work ethic poisoning your brain. Music IS the real world; being a musician IS a real job, and a valuable one - if you do it with conviction, abandoning those schoolboy fantasies of celebrity.)

IOW, when joining a band, make sure you know what you're in it for.
Is it for the music (the stuff you've always wanted to play)? Is it because the bassist is your best mate? Is it for the thrill of audiences clapping or dancing? Or is it for the cash? the promise of fame? the critical acclaim?
Any of the first three are OK. But don't do it for any of the last three: fame, riches and critics be ****ed. It's about enjoying yourself. It's the most fun you can have with your clothes on.

[sweiss]

There are, of course, some negatives, but usually the rewards far outweigh them. Especially later on in life when you'll have friendships and memories of people, places, and events that you couldn't have gotten any other way except by being in a band.

Oh...and I forgot to mention...it's one hell of a lot of fun!

[sampgt1]

I've been in a lot of bands, and none of them have ever "made it", in that we were never making any decent money, playing to crowds no larger than a about 150 people or so. However the experience it self was worth it, and I wouldn't hesitate to join another band if it was with people I though could work well with.

[Bob Womack]

I've been in many bands over the years, some good some bad. Bands can be nothing but a loose collection of creative, type-A personalities that hover on the edge of explosion every second. They can also be wonderful environments to grow in. The last on I was in was an example of the latter. It was a group of guys who each had forty or more years experience and really had nothing to prove. As a result, we got on great and enjoyed every minute. The only thing that broke us up was when one of us moved out of state.

Bob

[ombudsman]

Not counting brief ventures that weren't intended to be ongoing, I've been in 7 bands so far. Average length of time probably being about 4 years.

The 'likes' are obvious; creating music I couldn't have done myself, learning all kinds of thing (including people skills as well as music stuff), and all kinds of things about the experience itself which couldn't be quantified.

the dislikes ? the main ones are

-leaving good material on the table because of a breakup or difference in work ethic or taste

-playing the same material over and over again (also related to different work ethics and degrees of interest or ability)

-some of the musical compromises (while some of them were fine and I came to feel were the right way to go)

-dealing with other peoples' disappointments, self absorption, unrealistic expectations, narcissism, tendency to redefine what they can't do as something not worth doing while over valuing what they can do, and so on

-being ignored or taken for granted.

I'm not saying it isn't fair if you aren't doing quality work, but when you do quality work, you quickly learn that people listen more with their eyes, expectations, and social feelers than with their ears, and they mostly don't care that much about music (fair enough) and don't want to be challenged with anything different that what they are used to (even if they say otherwise).

[mr. beaumont]

I was in a band with roughly the same group of cats for ten years.

We're much better friends now that we're not.

I think I remember really liking it, but being in a rock and roll band now ranks somewhere between "oral surgery" and "kenny G concert" on the list of things that sound like fun to me.

I much prefer playing solo and getting together with pros when I'm needed with no strings attached....no rehearsals, or one if needed...no BS...know the music, make the music.

[j3ffr0]

A rock band is like five wives as far as arguing what to play, how and where to play it. Unlike a wife, a band will actually encourage you to do stupid things. That can be part of the problem or part of the solution depending on where you are coming from.

Sometimes I miss it a little. But I more NOT miss it than DO miss it. YMMV.

[Picking Moose]

Originally Posted by aviatornation

I was thinking after some period of training that I would join a rock band.Have any of you ever been in a band?What did you like and dislike?Thank you

Like? Never had so many girls around.
Dislike? Why would the singer always have first choice?!!!

[Laughingboy68]

When I was a younger man, I always had at least one band. Although I've often heard other musicians complain about their band experiences, I always loved it and have my closest friends from those times.

Now, with a wife and family commitments, the only band I've had in the last 10 years is with my two sons. They are now 15 and 17 and have little interest in being in a band with their dad.

I find the gigs more plentiful, set lists more flexible, rehearsals more straightforward and the cheque larger as a solo artist/entertainer. Still, I really miss the give and take...

Mike

[franchelB]

Originally Posted by aviatornation

I was thinking after some period of training that I would join a rock band.Have any of you ever been in a band?What did you like and dislike?Thank you

What others have said: It's a musical relationship among people. There are good times AND bad times (Hey, that sounds like a song!)
And personally, being able to make music with others is a wonderful experience. The downside is when you're NOT making the music.

[JonPR]

Originally Posted by ombudsman

-playing the same material over and over again (also related to different work ethics and degrees of interest or ability)

Yes, I forgot to mention that one.
In my current band, the issue is down to the leader/singer, who has quite an extensive repertoire, but keeps all lyrics and arrangements in his head. As such, he's very slow to introduce new songs, and not amenable to other people suggesting new material (even stuff that we think would suit his voice better than some of the songs he currently likes doing).
So - while I definitely like most of our list, and enjoy playing the same old things - there are periods of tedium, and even odd moments where the habitual arrangements just sound wrong to me, and I have to grin and bear it. (They're minor niggles, because the band is a lot of fun otherwise; nobody takes it too seriously.)

Originally Posted by ombudsman

I'm not saying it isn't fair if you aren't doing quality work, but when you do quality work, you quickly learn that people listen more with their eyes, expectations, and social feelers than with their ears, and they mostly don't care that much about music (fair enough) and don't want to be challenged with anything different that what they are used to (even if they say otherwise).

This is very true. But you can, of course, say much the same about any personal relationship you have, particularly work relationships.

IOW, as well as being like a gang of pals and a marriage, it's also like a job - resembling all three in some way. As well as issues around how much you like the people, the compromises you make to rub along, there is also the quality of the work you do - and how that compares with the work of the others, and how you all feel about each others' standards.
I've maybe been lucky in my bands, because the "quality of work" has never been that much of an issue: either me thinking other people were crap, or them thinking that of me. I've never felt under-appreciated, and that might be because I intuitively adjust my playing to fit the group, as well as I can. I never "play down" if I think I'm with musicians less able than me, but I do try to fit in.
Most of my bands have been "crowd-pleasers" to some extent - doing it more for gig appeal, for fun, than for egoistic self-expression. There was one jazz group I played in for a while (on bass) where I did feel I was competing with a few virtuosos, for whom the audience was practically a zero consideration. They all composed (and so did I), and there was a definite (understated) competitive element to it all, which I didn't like. Humour was in short supply. I wasn't with them long...

[ombudsman]

Originally Posted by JonPR

This is very true. But you can, of course, say much the same about any personal relationship you have, particularly work relationships.

I was thinking more of the audience reception (or lack thereof) in that part rather than relationships between band members. But yeah it can apply to them too.

It's dangerous to think that way, I recognize - judging the audience's reaction as if I had objectivity about it - but in your own town where you know many of the people in the audience and you've played many gigs, you do get some ability to tell when people aren't giving something a shot or aren't paying attention, as opposed to when the music just isn't that great.

The most clear cut example being when there are 100 people outside in the courtyard of the biggest neighborhood live music bar, and 20 people in each of the two different rooms inside where two different bands are playing (in two different styles of music) with no cover charge or anything involved, and if you are situated in the right place you can see how few people go inside during the entire 45 minute set of either band.

Clearly live music is not the main reason these people are at the bar, and /or the muffled sound bleed that they hear as the door opens and closes did not suffice to pique their interest. Social dynamics (herd behavior) greatly reduces the odds that there will be a mass exodus inside when a band starts their set, unless there is a critical mass of cool looking people who do exactly that - which there will be for some popular bands, and not the rest. So being popular is the best way to get and maintain an audience, but you can't get popular without an audience.

People think they like music a lot more than they like music. More evidence for that would be, liking it enough to download it but not enough to buy it.