My Open Mic Fail – But Oh, What Nice Folks Were There!

[HOF dad]

I'm not sure how to react to this thread. On one hand, it is really encouraging to hear about all the support you got. Even more so since it involved some of our own AGF'ers.
On the other hand, it's nerve rattling to see that someone of your skills had performance issues doing what we've all heard you do so well.

I understand the challenge of getting up in front of people to do anything. I used to be terrified of speaking in front of groups. As luck would have it, my job required it and I got a whole lot better. I would guess that playing would be the same but again, I've heard your stuff and I would have thought with that level of skill, you would be supremely confident.

Oh well, I guess the only way to truly know is to step into the fire. Not quite there yet but working towards it.
Everyone here who has taken that step has my utmost respect.


Dan

[srick]

Dan - I'll bet you have me confused with someone else. I've only been playing for ten years and only did my first open mics this year.

But, as Rustyaxe mentioned, there were a whole bunch of pros in the room last night (people who have been playing 40-50 yrs) that have had similar issues. Experience teaches you how to recover from a mistake and move on.

As I've thought about it today, in my vocation (dentistry), and another avocation (woodworking), experience is all about having plan B ready, and if needed, plan C, D, E, on to Z! Things don't always work as planned. Over time, you build up a toolbox and learn to improvise.

Bottom line: last night I came up with plan B. And it was good enough.

Best,

Rick


PS - I think I'm getting inspired to write a silly song about either brain farts or Murphy's Law.

[HOF dad]

Hmmm.... you may be right about me thinking of someone else.
I still, however, applaud you for getting up there and doing your thing.

Sounds like the perfect place to do that too. People who have been there and done that surely know the challenge you faced and were clearly supportive.
If/when I reach that point, I may need to drive to Connecticut!


Dan

[RustyAxe]

Originally Posted by HOF dad

Sounds like the perfect place to do that too. People who have been there and done that surely know the challenge you faced and were clearly supportive.
If/when I reach that point, I may need to drive to Connecticut!

Dan

While musicians are quite supportive of each other here, the paying public is not ... a guy can starve playing in Connecticut. Some probably have, and crawled off into the woods to die ... but we like to tell each other they got a contract and moved to Nashville ...

[srick]

Originally Posted by RustyAxe

While musicians are quite supportive of each other here, the paying public is not ... a guy can starve playing in Connecticut. Some probably have, and crawled off into the woods to die ... but we like to tell each other they got a contract and moved to Nashville ...

And we all know there was only one - "Big Al!"

[Scootch]

Something like that happened to me tonight at an ukulele open mic.

My girlfriend and I have been practicing for a month for this. 4 songs, medley style. The whole time while practicing, she keeps telling me to slow down. I even marked it on the music app pages. SLOW IT DOWN. I've a habit of playing fast on these jazz type songs.

All four songs were 1920s type songs.

• First song. SLOW =OK
• Second song. Slow again. That's good. Lotsa chord changes, lotsa words, they come out clear and precise.
• Third song. Just a little bit faster but OK and it's a snappy song anyway. So far we are killing it. Perfection.
• Last song and I try start it out slow and she starts like a racehorse out of a gate. I can hardly keep up. She's doing fine and I can't believe she keeps getting faster and faster, finally halfway thru I start to laugh at the situation. It's like laughing in church, I started laughing at the laughing. Finally I got it under control, let her carry the vocals, finally joined back in and finished the song in record time.

She's not talking to me now. Really, I hope she gets over it. I've apologized.

[AndrewG]

Nice story. In my experience the smaller the audience is, the more scary it gets; it's as if the attention (or lack of), of a larger crowd is diffused, while just a few people laser-in with pin-point precision. You can feel it, I swear!

[Pickcity]

Originally Posted by AndrewG

Nice story. In my experience the smaller the audience is, the more scary it gets; it's as if the attention (or lack of), of a larger crowd is diffused, while just a few people laser-in with pin-point precision. You can feel it, I swear!

I have been playing live for more than 20 years, and singing live for more than 30 years, and I agree with this 110%. I really enjoy the smaller venues and crowds the best, but they are more intimidating by far.

Picture the people sitting there naked and all will be well. Just remember not to laugh too much. Seriously though, always remember the people listening want you to be good. They are on your side. They will sit there and endure the performances, and everyone wants to hear good music, so they are with you.

Experience cannot be bought. You must get out of your comfort zone and make it happen. It takes courage for a first timer, and some people never get over the initial nervousness, but taking that first step is important so congrats to you for doing that. Anyone who performs enough will have a bad experience at some point, so learn from it and keep plugging away.

[rsmillbern]

I know exactly what you mean!
I played in front of others last week for the first time in ... maybe 20 years (with many years of indifferent playing in between)

I had a Bluegrass Workshop and we did a small (mostly family - much less pressure than an open mic) presentation.
For me it was challenging as I am very new to BG and the workshop was all in German.
It seemed I dropped notes the worst on the one song I knew the best, as I'd already learned it.

Even with the mistakes it was a great experience.

[rsmillbern]

Originally Posted by yukonkornelius

What an awesome thread! Nice work to everyone involved!

I just turned 38, I've been "playing" for 19 years, and have only played in front of two or three girlfriends (mostly noodling), a handful of buddies (mostly noodling), and bunch of guitar store sales folks (mostly noodling) and a few dogs and now my two young daughters ages 3 and 9 months. (the dogs and my daughters get to hear the real songs... )

I've never been brave enough to get up in front of anyone. My singing is horrific and my hands turn to stone.

Your thread is inspiring. It's takes nerve to get up there. I don't have it, and I really respect those that do. Great job!

This sounds very (very) much like me, except that I am 48 ;-)
For years I was afraid to sing in front of anyone, aside from my kids. It went back to singing in school when I was really young, someone made fun of me and it stuck...

In the past year I decided I just didn't care so much and while I can't really sing well, I have found a few songs that "seem" to fit my voice.

[StephenHD35]

It's funny, but when I was young- late teens, early 20s- I played out in different types of venues and never felt insecure about my playing. That's probably because my playing was meant to support my singing more than anything. It's now been years since I would sing, (and many more since I played out), and I now only play instrumental pieces for solo guitar. Now I can't play in front of anyone without getting the yips. I've been taking lessons from a classical guitar teacher for about a year, and no matter how comfortable I am with the piece at home, I will have two or three false starts at the lesson before being able to get through the piece. I can't imagine what it would be like if I were to try to play in front of an actual audience again. My hat is off to those of you who do.

[djg]

Originally Posted by srick

Did my third open mic last. There were lots of terrific players with lifetimes of experience; my turn came up about halfway into the program.

I had been practicing Pat Donohue’s, “Would you Like to Play the Guitar” for several months. Had it down. But then it happened: Brain fart followed by finger freeze . . .

There was no hope of even starting that song – after an awkward minute or so, i gave up on that and I went on to my next one. My fingers felt like lead and my timing was completely off, but somehow I made it through – same with the second song.

Then the magic happened - first, AGFer ‘RustyAxe’ came up to me and said, “I do that one too – the vocal starts in E, but the instrumental is a G. Happens to me all the time!” Then a fellow who runs a local concert series said, “I really liked your second song (an original that I wrote called “I Need Some GAS Money (Honey)”) – I’ve got fourteen guitars (and what a list it was)!” And then others – all supportive, all encouraging.

It really made my night.

It’s been said many times before here on AGF: if you really want to get good, perform in front of others. You learn from both the positive and the negative experiences. And if you ever luck into a group of supportive players, hold them near and dear. Thanks to all of the nice folks in Thomaston, CT last night. And TG I only needed to perform two songs!

Rick

PS - Thanks Denny!

It's all good.

(1) Good on ya, for carrying on.
(2) Good on them, for being supportive -- seems pretty common, although not necessarily universal, at open mics.
(3) I suspect we've all stumbled . . . at open mics, gigs, or wherever. It has happened to some truly superb professional musicians (I am no such person, but I've been there as a witness).

And (4) I have been in the room when things went far worse than that. Not that it's a contest. Everybody survived.

[Old Poseur]

I started playing guitar at 59. Started singing at 59 1/2. Played my first open mic at 60. Working on the tunes for my third open mic now (60 1/2). Here's what I've learned:

1. People just want you to succeed, whether or not they're your friends, and largely ignore errors that seem crippling to you. Alcohol helps (them, not you).
2. No matter how badly you screw up, keep plowing ahead. The crowd likely missed it or didn't care - but they will notice and care if you stop.
3. Other people at the open mic will be better than you are. More will be worse. So don't worry, you're in good company.
4. Don't be overly self-deprecating or apologize. I've done that and it doesn't help, it spoils the flow. As one friend said to me after the last open mic - "you started this, own it."
5. Life is short, enjoy this experience. It is a blast. And unless you're incredibly thin-skinned, who cares if somebody thinks you suck? They're sitting on their butts not participating, they're not paying you, and they won't have the guts to say anything negative. I've yet to see hecklers at an open mic (I think the audience would lynch them).
6. Choosing interesting material helps - people compliment me as much for my eclectic song selection as anything else.
7. Play with others - I've now played with another guitarist, a fiddle player, and a couple of other singers. It is really more fun than playing solo.

I've posted about all this before and the experience just keeps getting better. Just do it, it focuses your practicing, makes you better, and is tremendously fun.
Jump in.

[Glennwillow]

What a great story, Rick! Thanks for taking the time to share it here!

- Glenn

[srick]

Originally Posted by Old Poseur

I started playing guitar at 59. Started singing at 59 1/2. Played my first open mic at 60. Working on the tunes for my third open mic now (60 1/2). Here's what I've learned:

1. People just want you to succeed, whether or not they're your friends, and largely ignore errors that seem crippling to you. Alcohol helps (them, not you).
2. No matter how badly you screw up, keep plowing ahead. The crowd likely missed it or didn't care - but they will notice and care if you stop.
3. Other people at the open mic will be better than you are. More will be worse. So don't worry, you're in good company.
4. Don't be overly self-deprecating or apologize. I've done that and it doesn't help, it spoils the flow. As one friend said to me after the last open mic - "you started this, own it."
5. Life is short, enjoy this experience. It is a blast. And unless you're incredibly thin-skinned, who cares if somebody thinks you suck? They're sitting on their butts not participating, they're not paying you, and they won't have the guts to say anything negative. I've yet to see hecklers at an open mic (I think the audience would lynch them).
6. Choosing interesting material helps - people compliment me as much for my eclectic song selection as anything else.
7. Play with others - I've now played with another guitarist, a fiddle player, and a couple of other singers. It is really more fun than playing solo.

Good stuff!