Friends.

[rllink]

Just curious and something to talk about. Do you have friends that come to your house to play music, drink a beer or a cup of tea if they are non drinkers, and just hang out? I'm not necessarily talking about the weekly jam, although sometimes that distinction is hard to define, I'm just talking about other like minded musician friends that show up and want to play.

[mr. beaumont]

I do, don't get to do it as often as I'd like as most of the time we see friends these days is for bigger gatherings with more non-musicians, kids, etc...

I had a few music buds back when I played more Django-style jazz who'd come over on a summer night and we'd sit outside, polish off a few bottles of wine and play music til 2am...sadly both of those guys have moved away...I need to make some more friends like that

[fazool]

Kinda, in the first example its much more formal as our bar band rehearses at a fixed time weekly and we go to (a low-brow warehouse) fixed rehearsal studio every time. But it ends up being very social - we take turns buying beer and we have a real fun time every week. Almost every week someone says "man, Ive missed you guys"

In the other area, a very good long-time personal friend has taken up guitar. We formed a startup acoustic trio and did a few open mics in preparation for future gigging. In this example we dont have a regular schedule but try to get together at his house every other week. And this is very much a social visit as much as a music visit since we've been such good friends most of our lives.

[k_russell]

I meet with friend about once or twice a month. Usually, we meet at his place. When the tempertures warm, we sit and play on a covered pavillion, adjacent to a nearby beach.

Occasionally, others join us. My friend's son plays drums (and other percussion instruments). I like having someone keep time.

We spend an afternoon exchanging musical ideas and accompanying eachother. We're just two friends enjoying a shared interest. Nothing formal about the meeting.

[Charlie Bernstein]

Since the pandemic, my social life has become zilch.

[JonPR]

Originally Posted by rllink

Just curious and something to talk about. Do you have friends that come to your house to play music, drink a beer or a cup of tea if they are non drinkers, and just hang out? I'm not necessarily talking about the weekly jam, although sometimes that distinction is hard to define, I'm just talking about other like minded musician friends that show up and want to play.

That's never happened for me, at any time in my life.
Back when I was beginning, playing in bands, obviously we would gather at one or other of our houses (often mine) to practice, and sometimes just to jam.
Once in a while, one or two of them might show up without notice - outside of the planned sessions - but it was always for the sole purpose of playing - maybe a jam, or learning a new tune, or showing off a new instrument.
If we ever wanted to "hang out", we'd go off to a pub. But when getting together in my house, the purpose was always playing together - never just hanging out and chatting (about non-music stuff).

To be fair, in the first band I was ever in, as a teenager, the sessions often did degenerate into off-the-wall conversations, but they were never normal conversations like you might have with other friends, about stuff in your lives; they were a kind of creative improvisation in their own right, free association rants, surreal tangents of all kinds.
IOW, the reason we got together at all - at least as far as I was involved! - was not for any normal social reason, but because we were creative people who enjoyed being creative interactively.

Personally, I've never much enjoyed what you might call normal social interaction. I like being in groups of people, but I get bored and uncomfortable at parties (in fact I haven't been to a party for maybe 20 years now). I hate small talk. I'm happy listening to other people talk (up to a point), but rarely have anything to say myself in that kind of scenario. Conversation for me has to be intellectually stimulating - and there isn't much that gets me fired up enough. (And when it does, I have to be careful not to rant!)

In fact, for me, music is really the only social activity I partake in - certainly these days. The only times I get out of the house to spend time with other people is when I'm playing at gigs. I have no friends that I see any other time, no friends who are not musicians (except partners of those musicians). And actually that suits me just fine. Provided the gigs keep coming, that is... When they get thin on the ground, that's when I go to open mics. But again, I usually go with the purpose of playing. not just to hang out with other musicians. Even in music, there are not many others whose tastes I share enough to want to do that very often.

Yep, I'm a miserable old *******!

[Mr. Jelly]

No, but it would be nice. I don't seem to be able to find anyone that I'm that in sync with musically. When I've tried it ends up being them playing with me. I would desire to have several sessions to get up to speed on their repertoire rather than jumping in and trying to make music. I do have musician friends that I see weekly at an open mic. I can jump in and play with them if I'd like. And it would be music but not at a level I'd prefer. I have no personal need to be seen as a musician or one of the guys playing instruments with others. It's why I ended up finger picking so I can be the whole band. Jamming is boring to me I like a song that creates an experience.

[broy]

Not yet, but I aspire.

[dilver]

Only time I had this was when I was in college. A couple of factors… lots of free time back then. Lots of musicians around campus, the dorms. Lots of opportunities to see, meet, interact with other musicians at gigs, bars, concerts. I had a lot of friends, was much more social and less set in my ways.

Now? Very little free time and it’s usually late at night. Fewer opportunities to just be around other musicians. I’m much less social and don’t want to waste my time with idiots and there are a LOT of idiots. Adult men don’t make new friends very easily.

I get together once every two years with guys I went to college with. It’s always a blast, but I do miss the casual drop by, pickup a guitar and pass a joint hangouts.

[fazool]

Originally Posted by Mr. Jelly

... I don't seem to be able to find anyone that I'm that in sync with musically. .....

To a lesser extent, I am in that boat.....somewhat.

I love my band (I co founded it).

I like about 50% of what we play, I love about 30% of what we play, but I hate about 20% of what we play.

Those hated are songs I don't even have on my itunes library and usually change the radio station when they come on. My bandmates feel reciprocally as well.

We accommodate the musical tastes of everyone and I support my bandmates and friends who have different tastes than me and, so, I play it as a duty and obligation.

I have a friend I've played with in the past who is aligned very closely with my tastes. So I know its possible to find a "match" out there. BTW he is busy with a very successful band of his own.

I have been looking for a few years now for two or three folks where we love about 80%-90% of the same music.

No luck yet.........

[Mandobart]

My friends and I did this a lot in high school and in the very limited free time we had in the navy.

I used to hang out, play music, drink some beer and shoot the breeze with my neighbor across the street, but for a variety of reasons we've drifted apart in the last 5 - 10 years.

My Wednesday evening jams at friend's homes are mostly playing songs but there's also a lot of hanging out, drinking beer and cracking jokes.

Tonight we have one of our monthly pizza jams where we go to a pizza place, talk, catch up and play some music.

I enjoy the working relationship I have with co-workers, but we rarely get together socially. If I didn't have friends I've made playing music I'd have no real social life at all.

[Silly Moustache]

Originally Posted by Charlie Bernstein

Since the pandemic, my social life has become zilch.

Same here. Mando Bob, would come over every Wednesday afternoon, and/or we would both go to Ian the Bass man's house but there was always a "bit" of a purpose because they were supposed to be rehearsals for whatever we were going to play next.

Covid lockdowns killed it. When I restarted my club I had to make the meetings on a Saturday and a Friday - which both found difficult.

I've got an even older friend coming over next Wednesday ...I hope!

Apparently, according to the BBC (so it must be true) in the UK, at least, retired women form considerably large circles of friends, whilst men of similar age have few, to none.
My wife has a large circle, I have very few.

[Dave Hicks]

Friends of ours used to have a Labor Day picking party, a nice end to summer. Unfortunately, it got too complicated, u-no-wot came along, and they quit. I really miss those get-togethers.

But they invited us over a few weeks ago, and despite the small group, it was a lot of fun.

D.H.

[Skarsaune]

Just hanging out, no, nobody's got time for much of that - but picking, absolutely.

[Jaxon]

all my lifelong playing friends are dead, whats left in my area are opposite minded players and the word jam makes me nauseous