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#31
09-14-2010, 06:24 AM
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What's the difference between a Blues player and a Pizza? A Pizza can feed a family of four!
What's do you call a Rock player without a girlfriend?....Homeless! What's the difference between a Rock player and a Jazz player? The Jazz player plays 5000 chords in front of three people............ A Bluegrass guitar player goes into a Chinese antique store and falls in love with a very delicate year of the Rat statue. He asks the owner "how much" and the shopkeeper says "$10 for the statue, or $100 for the Rat and the story behind the statue". Being a poor musician he says he can't afford $100 and buys the statue for $10. As he's walking away from the store he hears a noise behind him and sees a few rats following him, so he speeds up a little. The he notices rats coming out of the building all around him and pretty soom there is a rat army behind him! The musician panics and starts running out of the small town into a field, but the field ends in a sheer cliff with a tree at the edge. He climbs up the tree and the rats start following him up the tree! In desperation he throws the Rat Statue over the cliff and all the rats follow it to their death on the rocks below! The musician composes himself and starts walking back to the town. When he gets to the antique store he walks in and the shopkeeper says "so I see you've come back for the story behind the statue?" The Bluegrass guitar player says "no, I was wondering if you have any statues of banjo players?" Rimshot!
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Rich - rmyAddison Rich Macklin Soundclick Website http://www.youtube.com/rmyaddison Martin OM-18 Authentic '33 Adirondack/Mahogany Martin CS OM-28 Alpine/Madagascar Martin CS 00-42 Adirondack/Madagascar Martin OM-45TB (2005) Engelmann/Tasmanian Blackwood (#23 of 29) 
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#32
09-14-2010, 09:11 AM
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A guitarist died and went to heaven where he ran into an old friend who had died a few years before.
'Man, your gonna love it here,' says the friend, 'We have great jams every night! Hendrix is here! Les Paul is here! Bach is here! We have a killer band! But there is one little drawback...You see, God has this girlfriend..and she's a singer....... Rev George
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#34
09-14-2010, 10:04 AM
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How many folk singers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Four - one to change it and three to sing about how good the old one was.
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#35
09-14-2010, 10:06 AM
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None .... you have a lightbulb tech replace the bulb and adjust the settings.
__________________
1956 Guild F-20 1979 Martin D-18 12-string 1983 Ovation Custom Legend 1986 Squire Fat Strat (Korean) 2004 Gibson Les Paul Classic 2007 Fender Standard Stratocaster (Mexican Strat) 2010 Guild F-47rc (Purchased in 2012) 2013 Home-made Stratocasters (x2) 2017 Martin GPCRSG
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#37
09-14-2010, 12:36 PM
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Quote:
QUALITY! 
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1977 Guild D25M Applause cheapie '50s Kay Jumbo '60s Silvertone Fender squire Fender Bullet Strat that never sees daylight.
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#38
09-14-2010, 02:12 PM
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Since we've opened this up to other musical instruments...
What's the difference between an oboe and a bassoon? The bassoon burns longer Yes, I was a band geek in high school. This was my favorite band-director joke
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#39
09-14-2010, 03:10 PM
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You wouldn't need to change them if you used a Shone-Rite device to "open up" your bulbs. It surrounds your bulb with a specific wavelength of light for many hours at a time. Afterwards, the bulbs will illuminate your home with a clearer and brighter light than before and allow you to see colors on your furniture and artwork that you've never noticed.
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How I wish...how I wish you were here. A few Canadian and American Guitars
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#40
09-14-2010, 03:14 PM
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How many luthiers does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one - but he'll put you on a six-month waiting list. Why are so many guitar player jokes one liners? So the rest of the band will understand them.
__________________
’07 Omega MJ - Carpathian/Cocobolo ’09 MJ Franks Legacy Dread - Adi/Braz ’12 MJ Franks OMD - Adi/Braz Sunburst ’09 Froggy Bottom SJ - Adi/EIR ’08 MacPherson 3.5 - Engleman/Madi
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#42
09-14-2010, 06:28 PM
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Only one. Any more than that and you have a hootenanny!
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#43
09-14-2010, 06:41 PM
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Lightbulbs? We don't need no stinkin' lightbulbs!
__________________
Wade Worry less about the guitars you want. Play the guitar you have more. The answer will come, and it will not be what you expect. A guitar is a tool, and a friend. But it is not the answer. It is the beginning. Current Guitars: Taylor 716C Modified Voyage-Air VAOM-04 CD: The Bayleys: From The Inside CDBaby Amazon Also available from iTunes
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#44
09-14-2010, 06:55 PM
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what do you call a guitarist that broke up with his girl friend--
HOMELESS ----------------------- How do you get the guitar player to stop playing--- PUT SHEET MUSIC IN FRONT OF HIM ------------------------------------------- How do you get a piano player to stop playing-- TAKE THE SHEET MUSIC AWAY --------------------------------- how can you tell if the stage is level-- IF DROOL IS COMING OUT BOTH SIDES OF THE DRUMMERS MOUTH ---------------------------------- How do you get the guitarist off your porch PAY FOR THE PIZZA ---------------------------------- Little Johnny says to his mom" when I grow up I want to be a guitar player" his mom says"' NOW JOHNNY YOU CAN`T DO BOTH" ---------------------- here is a site that will keep you in stiches-- no instrument sacred! http://www.ducksdeluxe.com/jokes.html
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2010 Taylor 816CE 2012 PRS P22 Black Gold Wrap Around.
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#45
09-22-2010, 07:29 PM
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One, and it's simple. The guitarist grips the bulb, and the world revolves around him.
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