Has anyone's playing intimidated you?

[D.Traylor]

I've been learning guitar for around six months now and have to say I think it's coming pretty easy. I can play quite a few chords, change them quickly, have gotten the F chord in all three versions and have learned the chords to quite a few songs that I sit around singing & playing & occasionally my woman sings along also.

It's fun and I'm enjoying learning while trying to improve what I already know.

Now, where I choke. My father self taught himself to play guitar, long before youtube and the web. He is in his early 70's and started when he was about thirteen.

If he hasn't heard a song before, he can close his eyes, listen and within a few minutes he's playing right along. He also travels thru his church work and plays with many different groups. He plays a lot of lead when he is with a group. And by the way, he doesn't read music. He says he plays by ear.

I've had a couple good guitar players show me some stuff and had fun, but I can't get myself show my father what I can do yet quite frankly because I feel my skills are so low compared to his that it's embarrassing.

We do not have issues and we are also both in the building trades and often work together, he hasn't slowed at all with age.

Anyway, I didn't know where else to put this and was wondering if anyone else has ever felt this way and if so, how did you handle it. I typically don't feel this way about anything. Thanks.

[JonPR]

Short answer: no, I've never felt intimidated just because someone can play better than me. At best, I'll be inspired; at worst, I'll just shrug it off because I know I can play (almost) as well as I want to already.

In your case, the family dynamic obviously plays a part! You feel envious because he didn't have any lessons, and yet he's still good. And he's over 70 and he's still good!

Obviously he's good for the reasons you say: (a) he started young, (b) he kept playing. He's got a near 60-year start on you! (Face it, you're not going to catch him now... not for another 60 years maybe....)

But it's silly to feel ashamed to show him what you can do. I'm sure he'd be proud you're following in his footsteps, and he'd probably be delighted to show you stuff too. He wouldn't want you to be as good as him in such a short time! (Not until he's given you some fatherly tips anyway... )

My own father was never musical, so I envy you. I'm a little like your father in fact, in that I started at 16, taught myself, never stopped, and am now approaching 67. (I can read music, but I can also play by ear.)
You really should get together with him and jam. Don't feel you have to show off or impress him - just enjoy the musical connection.
If I had kids of my own, I know that's what I'd like - to be able to pass on what I've learned, even in some small way.

In general terms, that's always the way to approach any player you meet who is better than you: don't feel resentful, embarrassed or ashamed. If you get a chance to play with them, look and listen and pick stuff up; ask questions. Good players are usually happy to help out weaker or less experienced ones, and rarely will deliberately try to show you up. (If they do, well they're just wankers, however well they can play guitar.)

[SFCRetired]

I bet if you showed him what you can do after only 6 months he would be very proud.

He has played for a long time and I bet he would love to show you some things himself. take advantage of this opportunity or you will regret it one day.

[Cameron_Talley]

I've felt intimidated by some of the people I've played with at church before. They are clearly better than I am. However, they've also been extremely supportive and encouraging and certainly haven't looked down on the fact that my confidence and skill isn't what their's is. So I really had no reason to be intimidated.

[SFCRetired]

One other point. Everyone of those people who may intimidate someone started out struggling trying to learn an F chord, barre chords and a simple C chord. Nobody was born playing a guitar out of the womb.

[Puerto Player]

Yea, when I first started playing I was really intimidated by the guitarists in our area, but many of them went on to be some the worlds best players. I didn't realize how good they were then though, I just thought; "wow, I obviously don't have what it takes to be a guitar player, I can't grasp that anywhere near that fast" so I really didn't give it my all. I played for myself and occasionally with buddies but never played with bands back in those days. It wasn't till later in life I finally realized I play pretty well and I don't really care who's better anyways. The local guitarists that intimidated me were Carl Verheyen and EVH. Who would have known?

[SMan]

Most everyone I play with is a better player than I. I wouldn't say intimidated at all. Maybe a tad envious.

[TBman]

Your father is a natural musician with years of experience. If he played baseball he'd be like Derek Jeter. I would just keep practicing and maybe just ask some questions on something you need help with.

[mr. beaumont]

Just be happy the cat the intimidates you is your dad and not the bandleader who takes a blazing solo, then looks you in the eye, and says "your turn."

But generally good players just make me want to play.

It's a bit of a curse though...I'll go see somebody live and like halfway through, as much as I'm enjoying myself--I'm itching to get home and practice.

[D.Traylor]

I appreciate all the replies. I know it's kind of silly and I'm very proud of his skills. Music has taken him all over the united states and Canada.

My goals at this time in life is to become a sold player, maybe entertain some friends etc. I don't have any illusions of being at his level or the level of the many guys I've heard playing in the bars here locally.

I will say this though, I do wish I had started earlier in life. Being raised around music me & my brother never really took an interest, it was just something that was always there.

My light bulb moment was when me & my GF was drinking a beer and shooting pool and started playing air guitar to the juke box and I thought "I should learn to play for real", so here I am

I love this forum BTW. You guys are great.

[Silly Moustache]

No, Why should they? Musicianship is NOT a competition. Sure there are folks who can play stuff tha they can't, but no-one can play like me as well as I can. Same applies to everyone else.

[rick-slo]

Intimidate has a few different meanings, so sure - sort of in the way the red light on the recorder can be intimidating.

[Hotspur]

I have a bunch of friends who are all working pros. One of them is a founding member of a band that has toured the US and Europe substantially. We have the occasional big open jam session.

Yeah, those are a little intimidating, just from a "can I keep up" point of view, or form an "here's one of my songs" stand point, even though the gap isn't as big as it used to be.

It's not an intimidation thing. I'm about the same age as your father and have been playing as long, also self taught. He probably learned like I did, by listening.

There's a lot to be said for learning from tab, from the internet and, yes, for some, by personal instruction. None of this, however, should be exclusive of developing an ear, of listening and attempting to replicate what you hear. Easy? No it's not easy, nothing worthwhile is. Six months? Long enough to know which way to point the guitar. Start listening.

[JimmyJeff1]

In response to your title, I wish the answer was no.