I may live to regret doing this but....( critique my playing)

Atalkingsausage · #1 06-14-2016, 08:19 AM

Can someone critique the song in my signature, and give me some constructive criticism? thanks!

let me know if i just need to hang it up hahaha

Riverwolf · #2 06-14-2016, 08:59 AM

were I driving in my car and this came on, I would not change the station.

Atalkingsausage · #3 06-14-2016, 09:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Riverwolf

were I driving in my car and this came on, I would not change the station.

Thank you!

JonPR · #4 06-14-2016, 11:01 AM

I probably would change the station, but not until about half-way through - it would hold my interest that long. That's giving you a lot longer than I'd give the vast majority of what I hear on the radio...

The only thing that's wrong is that your voice wobbles off pitch now and then. But you have an attractive vocal tone, clear and strong, and I think all it needs is a little more confidence of delivery; you sound nervous.
Guitar playing - good; song - good.

Atalkingsausage · #5 06-14-2016, 12:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JonPR

I probably would change the station, but not until about half-way through - it would hold my interest that long. That's giving you a lot longer than I'd give the vast majority of what I hear on the radio...

The only thing that's wrong is that your voice wobbles off pitch now and then. But you have an attractive vocal tone, clear and strong, and I think all it needs is a little more confidence of delivery; you sound nervous.
Guitar playing - good; song - good.

I think the nervous-ness stems from it being a new song for me. Im still not sure of the chord changes, and all of the lyrics. also you're totally right about my voice going out of tune. I listened to it again after i posted this thread, and heard that myself. I think it's interesting that I didn't catch that right off the bat.... I definitely think another take is in order.

Thanks for the great feedback! I think it's good to hear other people's take on things.

StringFive · #6 06-14-2016, 01:41 PM

I think it sounds great. Absolutely great job. However, if I was your producer I'd ask that you speed the tempo slightly, watch your timing, be careful of your pitch...and I'd mix the vocal track just a bit lower....

KarlK · #7 06-15-2016, 12:43 PM

You have the same issues that I have (or rather we share two of the many issues I have).

Pitch and tempo.

If you stay on pitch, and keep good time, you will be far ahead of most people given the mellow timbre of your voice and your pretty crisp guitar playing.

Song choice matters, too. "Can't Find My Way Home" is a very difficult song in that that when you get to the chorus, the song requires a quick shift to a higher pitch, demanding tight vocal control.

Besides, when I hear it, I only hear Steve Winwood singing it and, as we all know, he has one of the great singing voices of the last 40 years. I saw Traffic many years ago, and he was just spectcular live.

Atalkingsausage · #8 06-17-2016, 06:32 PM

if anyone is interested, I went ahead and did another take. would love further feedback

Here's the old version for comparison.

New version is in the signature

IndianaGeo · #9 06-18-2016, 02:29 AM

Guitar playing good...voice pitch somewhat flat. I'd suggest really focussing on holding the notes vocally, hitting the pitch, feeling a bit of vibrato in the voice when you dial it in. I think the voice needs a bit more 'punch' emotionally as well. Sing it more like you mean it. I don't think you're very far off really. Just a few tweaks. I run into the same issues myself.

Edit: Sorry, just heard the second version. Better, still could use improvement but you're heading in the right direction.

IG

Nailpicker · #10 06-18-2016, 08:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IndianaGeo

Guitar playing good...voice pitch somewhat flat. I'd suggest really focussing on holding the notes vocally, hitting the pitch, feeling a bit of vibrato in the voice when you dial it in. I think the voice needs a bit more 'punch' emotionally as well. Sing it more like you mean it. I don't think you're very far off really. Just a few tweaks. I run into the same issues myself.

Edit: Sorry, just heard the second version. Better, still could use improvement but you're heading in the right direction.

IG

I agree with the above. The title of your post is to critique your playing, so I didn't expect to hear you sing. I think you have potential to be a better guitar player than singer. I think voice lessons might help you. They helped me greatly, although I still wouldn't embarrass myself singing publicly and have decided that I should continue to stick with what I believe I do best...play guitar. I've strived for continual improvement over the past 50+ years. Maybe I'll be a good enough guitarist when I'm 100 years old.....Nah, one can never be good enough. When you think you're good enough you stop improving.

TBman · #11 06-18-2016, 09:30 AM

Guitar playing is good, the singing needs work, but your voice is pleasant enough so once you get some more practice at it I think you'll be good. I can't sing a note without birds dropping out of the sky so take this all with a grain of salt...

Looburst · #12 06-18-2016, 09:41 AM

As TBman and KarlK stated, pitch and timing are your weak areas IMO. Your guitar playing is good, try using a metronome for timing issues, it will improve. Your singing needs a lot of work however, sorry for the blunt response, I've been a professional studio and live singer all my adult life, 35 years and still make my living doing it. Consider taking some lessons or just watch a bunch of YouTube vids on singing instruction. Your singing tone is good but it can improve with the right instruction. Your issues overall are control, control, and control.

funkymonk#9 · #13 06-18-2016, 10:38 AM

I think you should practice the song a little slower and build up the speed.
I don't think your natural timing is off necessarily, i just think you aren't there yet playing and singing at the same time.
You stumble here and there shortening and elongating the timing because you get momentarily confused. And it effects your vocal pitchyness and timing.

So try slower, trying humming instead of singing lyrics to get the timing and pitches steady. Also i would try this with the fingerpicking instead of going to strumming chords right away.
even if it isn't how you want the song to go, it is good practice for playing and singing together which takes a lot of practice to get it seemless and natural.

Bluepoet · #14 06-18-2016, 11:18 AM

It sounds like your voice and your hands are fighting each other, for dominance...that's not going to work...it's all in one package...personally, I think one's voice should always take the lead, in that dance. The melody is the conveyor of the song, first and foremost...

I like those who say, slow it down, until you have the confidence, then bring it up to speed (much like tuning the strings, right?).

You do have a pleasant voice quality...just needs work...and, the second take was much better!