Song needs something??

[Marshall]

I like it. But , . . . , the harmony on the verses doesn't work for me. It's an individual telling his story. The extra voice doesn't work for me. Introducing harmony on the chorus and such is good. I like the soaring Oohs later. I just don't like the double voice on the verses. It seems distracting.

But what do I know ?

[Mr. Dave]

Originally Posted by FingerPlucked

Lots of singers don't like the sound of their own voice. I don't.

It's not as bad now, because I record a little differently. Early on I'll record a vocal guide track into one of my small diaphragm mics with no effects applied. It doesn't sound very good, but it's good enough to help me keep track of where I am in a song as I fine tune the guitar part and any other parts I may be adding. Later, when I pull out the large diaphragm mic to do some serious vocal takes, I'm already used to hearing my vocals in the most unflattering circumstances. And at that point, it's easy to make them sound better. As a result, I don't feel the need to swamp my vocals in effects.

Hopefully that makes sense. If you can, try it.

What a cool idea. Can't wait to try it myself. Dang! Now I'm gonna have to write another song.

[shawlie]

Nice song, really love the playing a lot. Not to be repetative, but it'd be nice to hear it without the "double voice" effect. You sing fine (and who better to sing your own songs than yourself - you're entitled to have your own sound). Maybe a very slight touch of something to give it that "dreamy" sound, that would fit with the melody and guitar part.

I do like the change near the end (the extra thing that kind of "swells" up). Sounds pretty.

[mediumstrings00]

I really like the song. It's almost haunting. Reminds me of Elliott Smith.

[BuckMahoney]

Cool song,what i would suggest is to do another take.try one with only one vocal and drop tune your guitar to meld with your voice.Try tuning your guitar down a half step or a whole step and see what it sounds like.I have the same kind of vocal phrasings and tuning my guitar down helps the song.Also try a little reverb in certain parts of the song on your vocals.Too much reverb can take away from the song so use it sparingly.A little reverb on the guitar couldn't hurt,just a tinge to give it a little character.

EDIT:I gave it another listen,the guitar sounds good actually so i take that back.However i think you should still cut out the other vocals except from the chorus and the break.

[jpfeiff]

Originally Posted by mediumstrings00

I really like the song. It's almost haunting. Reminds me of Elliott Smith.

Bingo---very much inspired by Elliot Smith.

Thanks for the other comments guys, I really appreciate getting the feedback