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#1
05-21-2017, 02:25 PM
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Would appreciate feedback on this original song
Hi Everyone,
This is a song I wrote called Team of Two. It was recorded as a voice memo on my iPhone. I would appreciate feedback, thanks. https://youtu.be/HiBk_lLVfWg 
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#2
05-22-2017, 01:14 PM
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Well done. I'd recommend more chord changes and/or a chorus and maybe a bridge. The two chords over and over tends to get boring and limits your melodic potential in the piece.
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#3
05-25-2017, 05:24 AM
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Lovely job and way to hit those high notes! And yes I agree that a tad more variety in the form of a bridge would be useful.
__________________
My YouTube Page: http://www.youtube.com/user/ukejon 2014 Pono N30 DC EIR/Spruce crossover 2009 Pono koa parlor (NAMM prototype) 2018 Maton EBG808TEC 2014 Hatcher Greta 13 fret cutaway in EIR/cedar 2017 Hatcher Josie fan fret mahogany 1973 Sigma GCR7 (OM model) rosewood and spruce 2014 Rainsong OM1000N2 ....and about 5 really nice tenor ukuleles at any given moment
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#4
05-25-2017, 06:38 AM
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Quote:
On the ninth bar (after the singing starts) play a VImin7 to a IIminor but sing the same melody. These are the relative minor chords of the ones you're using, and they, hopefully, will 'suggest' some alternative places to go both musically & lyrically. Don't get stuck on your own catchy phrase or riff. Don't be in a rush to call something a song that is merely a fleeting glimpse of something bigger. Regards, Howard Emerson
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#5
05-26-2017, 10:06 AM
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Yes, a bridge would add perhaps a bit of tension and allow that striking falsetto slip chorus to resolve even more dramatically.
My advice would be, to be careful with the bridge you create. Despite the simplicity of the harmonic structure here, the emotion of the melody you already have sets the bar fairly high. Don't just add a bridge for the sake of it, but choose your steps carefully. A great bridge adds to the beauty of the song, a careless one leads nowhere. I think you have something here...
__________________
Mike 2018 Furch D31TSR 2008 Martin OMCRE 1992 Takamine EAN20C 1996 Fender Telecaster w/ Barden Nashville set 1986 Charvel Model 5 2005 Art & Lutherie Ami 1980ish Hohner copy of a 'burst
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