When Did This Forum Become Negative?

[Gitarre]

Hey Steve. I'll second a lot of what some people have said here. If you do actually leave, I wish you well. But since nobody else has yet done so and even though you're a big boy and can make your own decision, I'll ask because I'm not too proud to. Please, please, PLEASE don't go.

I always wonder though, of people that make the same choice you are making. Do they return and read all the posts about their leaving? If not then all this is for naught. Or is it?

Anyway, hope I wasn't one of those in your "bad" column. take a little break and come back and give it a try. It could be so many influences going on right now that end up even affecting AGF. Your 6-12 month time frame figures right in with other recent public stresses. I've taken a few breaks myself and it can be helpful.

Really, how can you go wrong with the song title trail game?

The comment someone made that I think is worth considering is if the good ones leave, then it causes the balance to go in the wrong direction.

Good luck. Peace brother.

[6L6]

"The AGF forum overall has a very positive vibe where many knowledgeable and helpful people contribute. Great moderators also.
There will be some friction here and there, but that's life isn't it...?"

+1

[sled]

Originally Posted by Silly Moustache

I managed to do a couple of hours on the allotment this afternoon, (cold but sunny) and did some composting and digging over, and was thinking about this a lot.

I couldn't help but wonder if I'd said/written something that might have caused offence although I couldn't think of anything (although it might be gathered that I'm not a great fan of new Gibsons) and have just been looking at the OP's earlier post to see if there was something I might have written.

Couldn't find anything.

I can't help but conclude that I don't think that this forum is negative.

However, we all go though differnt moods and feelings, and so I'll just say that I hope our friend (and some others who have signed out over the years, will return.

Oh yeah, we all knew it was you.......

[rokdog49]

I can fully appreciate someone's feelings and without agreeing or disagreeing, I respect anyone who has decided "it just ain't fun anymore."
Personally, I have decided to take a good hard look in the mirror before I respond to a post and see if my response is suitable.
I find myself beginning to contain my responses to only those things I am experienced with and at the most offering a personal viewpoint and emphasizing that it is, in fact, personal. Sometimes, we can allow ourselves to be entrapped or sucked into petty arguments...guilty as charged.
I will do my best to avoid that in the future and just continue to enjoy all the good stuff and great folks here on the AGF.
I hope Pastor Steve comes back and if I was in any way a part of the problem, my sincerest apologies.

[RP]

Originally Posted by amyFB

This surprises me.

I don't know how anyone can misinterpret "be nice".
It means - say or do things that are pleasing to hear or see.

It's simple opposite is "don't be mean". That's pretty simple to me.
It means - don't say or do things that harm or make other people unhappy or sad.

Internet written communication is easily misunderstood. We don't tend to edit our thoughts and writings before posting, so it's easy to post based on what's in our head and not how that will be read by others. Everybody's perception is different so there's a tendency to either miss or read something into the communication of others. Some folks will read a post and zero in on the importance of a single word while that particular word for the writer may have been less important, a filler word, or even a throwaway thought. Another factor is the interplay between sarcasm, sense of humor, and niceness. As a Moderator you're going to get a better idea of the vastly different ways that people interpret and practice "niceness"...

[mkitman]

This thread has gotten me thinking; I'm a member of a particular Cigar Forum for the last 18 years now (yeah, an OF!) THAT board is one of the meanest, foulest, argumentative & insulting places I've ever been (thoroughly enjoyable, if you have thick enough skin). Most of us "old timers" have become close personal friends over the years, with many cross country travels to hang together for events drawing 50- 125 people.

Even with that close a brotherhood, there are still lots of long time members leaving similar "Goodbye" posts (albeit for different reasons than "niceness"). Usually stating something to the effect of, "This USED to be such a GREAT PLACE, but now it's changed..."

Sometimes change is just evolution...

I hope things work out for the best for you Steve...

[amyFB]

Originally Posted by RP

Internet written communication is easily misunderstood. We don't tend to edit our thoughts and writings before posting, so it's easy to post based on what's in our head and not how that will be read by others. Everybody's perception is different so there's a tendency to either miss or read something into the communication of others. Some folks will read a post and zero in on the importance of a single word while that particular word for the writer may have been less important, a filler word, or even a throwaway thought. Another factor is the interplay between sarcasm, sense of humor, and niceness. As a Moderator you're going to get a better idea of the vastly different ways that people interpret and practice "niceness"...

I won't stop lobbying for an increase in thoughtful posts, for all that I agree with the cause you have expressed above.

Nothing we type here has any urgency to it - if this is a true emergency, hang up and dial 9-1-1 already!

Before you post -
- is it necessary?
- is it kind?

[LouieAtienza]

Originally Posted by PastorSteve

Unfortunately I've noticed over the past 6-12 months that almost every time a thread is started about something we get the regular group of people who, over the years, contribute regularly and provide meaningful productive commentary and stimulation. Then, a handful of people who I have come to expect, post negative and (seemingly) intentionally pointless and argumentative posts when there is no need. Over the 10 years I've been here I've seen some of our stalwarts get frustrated with the negativity and leave the forum. Some have come back after a break.

I have usually found that by ignoring the nay-sayers that they quiet down or are corralled by moderators and they leave (or are banned). Unfortunately, for too many this has not occurred. Increasingly I find that I've become more irritated and tired with those who think their negativity and counter-productive commentary is more important than other's opinions. Those that insist on arguing or turning every thread they contribute to into a "my X is better than your Y", or "just buy a CF instead of that horrible ___ (fill in your favorite excellent wood guitar)", have made me decide to leave before I fall into their traps and start to sound negative or become as argumentative as they. They are frequently wrong in their statements (not opinions) and seem to believe that anyone who corrects them is asking for a fight.

I want to thank those who have contributed to my enjoyment of this forum and hope you continue to enjoy the AGF. I will stick with my writing, recording, traveling and enjoyment of all music, and those that create it. The majority of professional musicians I work with never participate on forums and maybe I should take my direction from them. Music over all else.

Perhaps it is I who have become intolerant but I know my enjoyment of the forum has suffered due to a few here who are so pervasive that I would rather not hear from them further. I think they say .... mic drop.

I think it's been better actually the last few years. I remember first coming here, and in shock at some of the stuff said in the General section. So much so, that I never, ever, go there anymore.

I also think as some have pointed out that the eloquence of our tongues have been somewhat negated by the harshness of our typing. It truly can be hard to understand someone's point of view when there are no facial expressions, vocal inflections, or hand gestures to guide us. I've personally had a couple heated discussions with some members here, and had met them in person and thought they were pretty amazing.

I also made a New Year's resolution to just walk away, even if I thought some's opinion went undebated or unchallenged. Have bigger fish to fry - well, smoke!

[guitargoat]

I don't really see that much negativity to be honest. Arguing differing opinions is a healthy interaction. Nobody forces me to click on any threads so I easily avoid stuff I don't want to read. Nobody forces me to be on this forum either so leaving at anytime is an option. If I decided to leave I would probably just log off. I am afflicted with the thirst for knowledge so I won't be going anywhere. If you want to see negativity visit some of the sports forums I am on. One particular NCSU forum has become unreadable. I heard Facebook is negative these days but I will never dive into that cesspool. Good luck to everyone and I love you all whether we agree or disagree.

[sled]

Originally Posted by mkitman

This thread has gotten me thinking; I'm a member of a particular Cigar Forum for the last 18 years now (yeah, an OF!) THAT board is one of the meanest, foulest, argumentative & insulting places I've ever been (thoroughly enjoyable, if you have thick enough skin). Most of us "old timers" have become close personal friends over the years, with many cross country travels to hang together for events drawing 50- 125 people.

.

Sounds like a fun forum.... care to share?

[Looburst]

It's just a forum, at the end of the day. We're not trying to solve world peace here. Like every other forum, there are self appointed experts here and then those who really know from years of playing. The trick is always to shovel through the muck and figure out who is right.

[sled]

Originally Posted by RP

Internet written communication is easily misunderstood. We don't tend to edit our thoughts and writings before posting, so it's easy to post based on what's in our head and not how that will be read by others. Everybody's perception is different so there's a tendency to either miss or read something into the communication of others. Some folks will read a post and zero in on the importance of a single word while that particular word for the writer may have been less important, a filler word, or even a throwaway thought. Another factor is the interplay between sarcasm, sense of humor, and niceness. As a Moderator you're going to get a better idea of the vastly different ways that people interpret and practice "niceness"...

Niceness is different to different people, depending on where the median of one's nature is. Example, for a person trained in manners it is very nice to ask at a dinner table "Would you please pass the bread". Then there's these guys, who's upbringing causes them to think they are being just as nice when asking to pass the bread.......

[Mr. Jelly]

I think a little differently than others. I'm okay with that. So if my thoughts are different than yours, is that being negative? If that's the case then most people are negative to me. Should I leave? I don't try to tell anyone what to do or how to think. Or even that their ideas are dumb. You write your thoughts and I'll write mine. I thought that's what we did here. If we're just supposed to me nice and stroke each other then I am in the wrong place.

[Gitarre]

Originally Posted by Mr. Jelly

I think a little differently than others. I'm okay with that. So if my thoughts are different than yours, is that being negative? If that's the case then most people are negative to me. Should I leave? I don't try to tell anyone what to do or how to think. Or even that their ideas are dumb. You write your thoughts and I'll write mine. I thought that's what we did here. If we're just supposed to me nice and stroke each other then I am in the wrong place.

So let me ask you a question Mr. Jelly. Is it okay for the jelly to touch the bread or do you have to peanut butter each piece with the jelly in the middle?

And be honest here.

[JBCROTTY]

Originally Posted by PastorSteve

Perhaps it is I who have become intolerant but I know my enjoyment of the forum has suffered due to a few here who are so pervasive that I would rather not hear from them further. I think they say .... mic drop.

I have enjoyed Pastor Steve's frank and straightforward insights and contributions. I am hopeful you will not allow a few negative folks to chase you off. I have found this site to be very helpful with many more positive contributors than negative ones.

If you are done...Shalom. But I hope not.