When Did This Forum Become Negative?

[amyFB]

Originally Posted by ewalling

Well, it's not so easy to anticipate what makes another person unhappy or sad. If someone criticizes Lakewood guitars and I have a Lakewood (which I do), is that person being mean to me by not considering that someone on the forum might have a Lakewood and an extremely tender sensibility?

Sense of humour is also a tricky area. Teasing someone or 'taking the pee,' as it's termed, is a form of intimacy in the UK. In the US, it can be confrontational or rude. We may try to suppress our natural conversational instincts here and put on a bland attitude of approval and congratulation, but the beast will out at times, and tears will be spilled.

P.S. If anyone's considering trashing my Lakewood, be warned that I have an extremely tender sensibility!

hello ewalling.
there is a difference between declaring a pro or con position about an inanimate object, and, making judgemental comments about the person who likes or dislikes said inanimate object.

i think if we preview our written words, before posting them, with this ^ distinction in mind, there is a good chance to avoid the appearance of being mean.

[ship of fools]

What can anyone really say the place has changed a lot and so old have left and new have arrived and while it might be a good thing it also might not be so great when the knowledgable start with differnce of opinions and then end up being fustrated by some who lack the experience that us older fartshave had over many years.
Things change and so does the wind here and the tempermant also has changed here not that it is bad but indifferent to those of us who have been here for a while. We have seen a lot of good and bad leave but yet at the end of the day this is just a guitar forum for the beginners and those of us who have been doing it for a long time and at the end of the day we can only give what ever we have for experience and those that want to listen can and those who dont well does it really matter.
Its kind of like which is better guitar A or guitar B for me I dont care I am only concerned with how it plays and sounds and my expertise is only so far.
Good luck Steve and hopefully you'll be back to contribute some more. ship

[Gunny]

We are all different, but I agree that the AGF is probably the most mellow, courteous forum of this size I have ever participated in. Like said, without opposing views an many subjects, it would be flat-out boring. I personally pass on by comments made that I don't agree with, but still appreciate them.

[SMan]

Originally Posted by Kerbie

We don't want to lose anybody here who is making a positive contribution to the forum. I encourage folks to use the "Ignore List" to essentially make a problem-poster disappear from your view. If you go into your User Control Panel (CP), click on "Edit Ignore List" and you can add or remove particular posters to the list. I hope you guys will choose that method before leaving the forum all together.

We appreciate everyone's efforts to keep this a civil place to hang out. I hope Steve will come back to grace our presence in the future.

The ignore list can and has been very helpful.

[ewalling]

Originally Posted by ship of fools

What can anyone really say the place has changed a lot and so old have left and new have arrived and while it might be a good thing it also might not be so great when the knowledgable start with differnce of opinions and then end up being fustrated by some who lack the experience that us older fartshave had over many years.

Perspectives do differ, though. Personally, I find AGF to be a more hospitable place now than it was eight or nine years ago.

[sled]

Originally Posted by ewalling

Well, it's not so easy to anticipate what makes another person unhappy or sad. If someone criticizes Lakewood guitars and I have a Lakewood (which I do), is that person being mean to me by not considering that someone on the forum might have a Lakewood and an extremely tender sensibility?

Sense of humour is also a tricky area. Teasing someone or 'taking the pee,' as it's termed, is a form of intimacy in the UK. In the US, it can be confrontational or rude. We may try to suppress our natural conversational instincts here and put on a bland attitude of approval and congratulation, but the beast will out at times, and tears will be spilled.

P.S. If anyone's considering trashing my Lakewood, be warned that I have an extremely tender sensibility!

You have a guitar made out of Lake Wood??? How's the tone on it, does it sound..............wait for it................"Submerged"

As far as teasing not being a US thing, it all depends on what crowd you run with. Coming from a culture on the police department, let me tell ya, it was brutal and if you were thin skinned you would not survive. But, everyone knew it was all in fun and in 25 years I never saw anyone get mad.... though many got even....

[dylanheeg]

I'd say it's been like this more than 6-12 months. I've been a member for 10 years or so also and for the last 2 or 3, I rarely stop by or post, for the same reasons OP mentions. Every time I look at a thread it seems to be the same offenders as it's always been. Negativity sucks - it wears on your for a while and then pretty soon you realize a negative environment isn't worth your time and/or attention.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[RustyAxe]

It could be worse ... in another popular music forum you could be targeted and stalked by a few of the psychopaths that hang out there only to make trouble. I don't see any of that here. Thank goodness!

[FrankHudson]

Newish in my participation here too, but Steve's posts have seemed to be in the "helpful ones" class as others have noted, and so despite my shorter exposure to his contributions, they'd be something I'd miss. In gratitude for that, I hope the decision is helpful to his other endeavors.

I actually like a little dispute/discussion for other points of view/experiences (in the context of mutual respect) and so far here I've not experienced things getting out of hand, but since we've already had the obligatory Monty Python reference, the Argument Clinic sketch comes to mind

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQFKtI6gn9Y

[reeve21]

I wish you well Steve, and hope you return.

Your posts were very helpful to me as a newbie on the forum and a hobbyist guitar player.

Thank you for your contributions.

[aknow]

Steve: Hope you change your mind.
This is the most respectful forum I've ever used.
Want rudeness? Visit The gear page.

[Bob Womack]

Well, Steve. What to say?

I've been here since the first month. I've never left but I go through phases: Sometimes the place is a great support. Sometimes it is pretty strident. The place changes constantly, mellow, strident, mellow, strident, lather, rinse, repeat.

I've noticed that we are in a period where some of the posts are a bit, um, polarized and polarizing, shall we say. When the board takes a swing like this I usually find out by being a bit blind-sided by someone who disagrees with one of my posts. Then I lay back, get a little distance, and post less.

Unfortunately, on forums, when someone has been hurt by one or more posts and mentions it, the typical response is either a "Who me?" from folks who haven't experienced it and/or a sort of "Lord of the Flies" piling on and "eating of the wounded."

Let me give you an example of how this sort of thing can happen and how it can be fixed: on another forum where I am a moderator, a newish poster found a great discount on product that is good but can have negative results if not used right. He posted a heads-up on the sale, acknowledging that people have different opinions about the product. That was a public service, a nice thing to do. Unfortunately the very first response was a curt, "I don't use that crap because it could potentially affect my gear and I'm not willing to risk it!" I posted next and thanked the OP for the heads-up, saying that we are aware of the methods to mitigate the issues the product has and it is up to each individual to decided if he is willing to do what is necessary to negate the risk. I said nothing about the second post. The second poster who had been so abrasive didn't realize he had been so abrasive until he read my post. He then posted again apologizing for the abrasiveness of his original post. However, the sequence triggered polite discussion of the right way to mitigate the issue. It ended well.

But that short, curt, abrasive kind of response is exactly what hurts other people and creates tension. It takes twice the mental energy, or more, to tone things down when you disagree with someone but want to post. But that self-moderation is exactly what this disjointed form of communication we call a "forum" needs.

Take a break. Play your guitar. I hope to see you again, soon.

Bob

[Silly Moustache]

I managed to do a couple of hours on the allotment this afternoon, (cold but sunny) and did some composting and digging over, and was thinking about this a lot.

I couldn't help but wonder if I'd said/written something that might have caused offence although I couldn't think of anything (although it might be gathered that I'm not a great fan of new Gibsons) and have just been looking at the OP's earlier post to see if there was something I might have written.

Couldn't find anything.

I can't help but conclude that I don't think that this forum is negative.

However, we all go though differnt moods and feelings, and so I'll just say that I hope our friend (and some others who have signed out over the years, will return.

[Wadcutter]

Originally Posted by chitz

On this forum, just as in life, you need to take things with a grain of salt.

You can't take it all too seriously.

Now that's the best advice I think we should all take when it comes to internet forums. C'mon Steve, were you really all that offended? I just don't see the big deal here. I mean this ain't revolvers at twenty paces.

[amyFB]

Originally Posted by Wadcutter

.... C'mon .... were you really all that offended? I just don't see the big deal here. I mean this ain't revolvers at twenty paces.

I'd like to suggest that it is possible to identify the site as being 'negative' without having to also make a claim of feeling offended.

Each of us is an individual and what each of us 'gets' from our visits to AGF is unique, and only coincidentally may align with others who visit here.