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#17
02-13-2017, 09:14 AM
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What do you do with a guy who can't play music? Give him two sticks and put him in the back of the band.
What do you do with him if he still can't play music? Take one of the sticks away and put him in the front of the band.
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-Raf 
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#18
02-13-2017, 12:56 PM
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Did you hear about the drummer who was kicked out of the band because his timing was terrible? He was so despondent, he threw himself behind a train.
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Bill Guitars: 1910's Larson/Stetson 1 size guitar 1920 Martin 1-28 1987 Martin Schoenberg Soloist 2006 Froggy Bottom H-12 Deluxe 2016 Froggy Bottom L Deluxe 2021 Blazer and Henkes 000-18 H 2015 Rainsong P12 2017 Probett Rocket III 2006 Sadowsky Semi Hollow 1993 Fender Stratocaster Bass: 1993 Sadowsky NYC 5 String Mandolin: Weber Bitterroot
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#20
02-15-2017, 12:05 AM
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"Knock knock"
"Who's there?" "Philip Glass" "Phillip Glass who?" "Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Philip Glass" "Phillip Glass who?" "Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Philip Glass" "Phillip Glass who?" "Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Philip Glass" "Phillip Glass who?" "Knock knock...." . . . .
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https://sebastiansequoiah-grayson.bandcamp.com/ https://soundcloud.com/ss-grayson https://www.youtube.com/user/sebbityseb
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#21
02-15-2017, 08:03 AM
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Two jokes from my days studying composition.
Two grave robbers pry open the lid of JS Bach's coffin. There's JS with sheet music rubbing it with an eraser. "Leave me alone, he says, can't you see I'm decomposing." Why did JS Bach have so many children? He pulled out all the stops on his organ.
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Some Martins Garcia #2 classical Cordoba C10 Luthier Series Tacoma Olympia OB3CE acoustic bass "I don't care what style you want to play. If you want to master good guitar tone, master preparation, attack and release first." ~ Paul Guma
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#22
02-15-2017, 01:31 PM
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I've told this one before but what the hey!
A musician pulls in to a roadside bar for a drink. Noticing his accordion lying on the back seat of his car he is careful to lock the doors before heading inside. But sure enough, when he got back to his car someone had broken his window and thrown two more accordions in.
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Bill Gennaro "Accept your lot, whatever it may be, in ultimate humbleness. Accept in humbleness what you are, not as grounds for regret but as a living challenge."
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#23
02-15-2017, 01:40 PM
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How many guitar players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
13 - one to do it, and twelve to stand around and say, "Hmmmph... I can do that!"
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Nothing bothers me unless I let it. Martin D18 Gibson J45 Gibson J15 Fender Copperburst Telecaster Squier CV 50 Stratocaster Squier CV 50 Telecaster
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#24
02-15-2017, 03:26 PM
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What did the luthier say after he won the lottery?
"I guess I'll just keep on building guitars until the money runs out."
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Rodger Knox, PE 1917 Martin 0-28 1956 Gibson J-50 et al
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#25
02-16-2017, 07:45 AM
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How do you know the stage is level? The drool runs out of both sides of the banjo players mouth.
__________________
Bill Guitars: 1910's Larson/Stetson 1 size guitar 1920 Martin 1-28 1987 Martin Schoenberg Soloist 2006 Froggy Bottom H-12 Deluxe 2016 Froggy Bottom L Deluxe 2021 Blazer and Henkes 000-18 H 2015 Rainsong P12 2017 Probett Rocket III 2006 Sadowsky Semi Hollow 1993 Fender Stratocaster Bass: 1993 Sadowsky NYC 5 String Mandolin: Weber Bitterroot
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#26
02-18-2017, 06:40 AM
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How do you make a small fortune as a musician? Start with a large fortune and keep playing.
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Bill Guitars: 1910's Larson/Stetson 1 size guitar 1920 Martin 1-28 1987 Martin Schoenberg Soloist 2006 Froggy Bottom H-12 Deluxe 2016 Froggy Bottom L Deluxe 2021 Blazer and Henkes 000-18 H 2015 Rainsong P12 2017 Probett Rocket III 2006 Sadowsky Semi Hollow 1993 Fender Stratocaster Bass: 1993 Sadowsky NYC 5 String Mandolin: Weber Bitterroot
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#28
02-18-2017, 04:15 PM
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What’s the difference between an introspective singer-songwriter and a puppy?
Eventually the puppy grows up, stops whining, and learns what not to leave on paper. We all know about major, minor, pentatonic, etc. scales. But what’s the singer-songwriter scale? Just one note: “me, me, me, me…” Who is the patron saint of accordionists? Our Lady of Spain. (Got one about the difference between a soprano and a Lamborghini, but the punch line would violate AGF rules).
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Sandy http://www.sandyandina.com ------------------------- Gramann Rapahannock, 7 Taylors, 4 Martins, 2 Gibsons, 2 V-A, Larrivee Parlour, Gretsch Way Out West, Fender P-J Bass & Mustang, Danelectro U2, Peavey fretless bass, 8 dulcimers, 2 autoharps, 2 banjos, 2 mandolins, 3 ukes I cried because I had no shoes.....but then I realized I won’t get blisters.
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#29
02-18-2017, 07:34 PM
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Quote:
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http://www.acousticgallery.com MostlyElectric Acoustic Martin D18 (1970), Yamaha LS6
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