What is the worst joke you have ever heard?

[James_214ce]

Originally Posted by reflected

The only 3 survivors of a shipwreck manage to swim to a desert island. There's an American, a Dutch and a Chinese. The American says:

-Listen up Fellas, I took some survival courses, so just do what I say and everything will be fine. I will take care of the food, you - pointing at the Dutch - will take care of the wood, and you - pointing at the Chinese - will take care of the supplies.

As agreed, they meet at the same place one hour later. The American is carrying some fish and a few squirrels. The Dutch is balancing a big pile of firewood. The Chinese, however is nowhere to be seen. They look around, search the place, nothing.

"Poor soul" they think "He must have fallen victim to some wild animal.

Then one of the bushes starts to shake and the Chinese jumps out grinning:

"SUH-PLIIIIIEEEEZZ"

Its been 5 minutes , and I am still laughing...

[James_214ce]

What is a wok?
A wok is sumting you twow at wabbits.



What's the difference between ignorance and Apathy?
I don't know and I don't care.

[iamasmith]

A Duck came up to me yesterday quackling wildly, 'I've lost my eggs, I've lost my eggs'.

I said, 'Perhaps you mislaid them...?'

[valleyguy]

Originally Posted by ec214_rolyaT

What's the difference between ignorance and Apathy?
I don't know and I don't care.

This may have to go on my signature.

[epluribus36]

Originally Posted by D. Shelton

That just plain sucks; I don't even get it. Worst joke I ever heard

Pardon me boy, is that the Chattanogga choo-choo?

[Ciarre]

A horse walks into a bar.
The barkeep says, "Why the long face?"

[Wengr]

A duck walks into a pharmacy and says - " Gimme some Chapstick .................. and put it on my bill".

[harmonics101]

What did one duck say to the other ?

My doctor's a quack,

H

[EasyEd]

Hey All,

Two buddies Kurt and Rod decide to start an internet business called Kurt and Rods curtain rods.

-Ed-

[RP]

It's got to be:

Mel Famy was the greatest pitcher and some believed the greatest baseball player, period, who ever lived. He single-handedly pitched his team to the World Series, and they easily won the three games he was able to pitch in the Series. However, the other team won three games while Mel was resting. Now, in the 7th game of the World Series, Mel was again pitching.
The game was a 0-0 pitcher's battle as Mel Famy walked out to the mound for the bottom of the 9th inning. Mel took the sign from the catcher, wound up and pitched. A ball. He quickly pitched three more balls and walked the first batter. A stir went through the crowd. Mel Famy rarely walked anyone, let alone on four pitches.
The next batter came up, and Mel walked him on four pitches, too. Then two more batters. The game and the Series were lost!
As the runner on third base crossed home plate with the winning run, he glanced out at the pitcher's mound and saw a can of beer fall out the back pocket of Mel Famy's uniform.
It was all too obvious what had happened. Mel Famy had been drinking between innings! The runner pointed to the beer and shouted out, "That's the beer that made Mel Famy walk us!"

[D. Shelton]

Originally Posted by epluribus36

Pardon me boy, is that the Chattanogga choo-choo?

Before my time

I have bad joke , but first I'd like to express my displeasure at the general
lack of badness in many of the jokes in this thread , and so , to try and reel this back into the realm of actual badness:

Why did the chicken cross the road ?

Apparently that's what chickens do.

So they can be on the other side of the road and then cross the road to get to the other side of the road.

That's how dumb chickens are .


There, that's bad . When you have to explain it , because it's stupid and doesn't make sense; like a comedian bombing .

[jeff crisp]

Originally Posted by D. Shelton

Before my time .

D l'm 48 ( a few years younger than you, l think) and Australian and that joke was bad when l was 18, still is l reckon.

[HHP]

Man visits his doctor and reports a variety of maladies. After running tests, the doctor says, "Take these suppositories, once a day, and they should fix you up."

Man returns two weeks later with the same symptoms as before. The doctor asked, " Did the medicine I gave you not help at all?"

Man replies "Doc, for all the good it did me I coulda stuck them up my a**"

[ewalling]

What did Tarzan say as a herd of elephants came running across the savanna?

"Here comes a herd of elephants!"

[Neil K Walk]

My mother was subjected to some pretty bad ones by the OB during my delivery way back in the summer of '69.

On the topic of how newborns' heads were usually misshapen during delivery he said "I like to call them banana heads."

When told what our family name was (which is pronounced by many the same way the sound a duck makes) he said "don't let him become a doctor."

I'm convinced he was drunk and I've had an unhealthy aversion to doctors ever since my mother first told me that story.