What is the worst joke you have ever heard?

[James_214ce]

During its heyday the Wells Fargo Company employed a number of specialized stagecoaches such as one with a church for Sunday operation. One of the more popular models featured a darkroom on board, so passengers who took pictures could have them processed en route and the prints delivered at their destination.

One day a stagecoach equipped with a darkroom was headed for Wichita when, passing through a small town, it was intercepted by the local marshall, who said, "Halt in the name of the law!"

"What's the problem?" the stagecoach driver asked.

"You should know that the operation of a mobile darkroom is illegal in Kansas," the marshall said.

At this point two psychologists on horseback arrived on the scene. One of them said, "I suppose what we have here is a classic case of the Oedipus complex."

The other said, "No, it's much simpler than that -- it's just an arrested stage of development."

[Ciarre]

Rudolph the Communist was having an argument about the weather. When his spouse proclaimed it to be sleeting, he responded in a huff, saying "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"


In fishing news, the fellow dropped his wallet overboard. A fish quickly grabbed it and flipped it to another fish, which flipped it to a third fish. This went on for a while, until the exasperated fisherman cried out, "What's happening here?"
His companion replied, "Simple, it's carp-to-carp walleting."


Hard to get much worse than that, but I'm sure there will be.

[JLed79]

Q: What's the difference between caribou and reindeer?
A: Reindeer fly

[architype]

Roy Rogers had just bought a brand new pair of boots and left them out on the porch after a long ride.
The next day when he went out to put on his boots they had been mauled by the cat.
Roy pulled out his six shooter and shot the cat dead.
Hearing the commotion, Dale came out on the porch and asked,

"Pardon me Roy, is that the cat who chewed your new shoes?

[jeff crisp]

A man worried about where he was going to live walked into a doctors and said l can't decide between a wigwam and a teepee. The doctor said you know what your problem is, your two tents.

[reflected]

The only 3 survivors of a shipwreck manage to swim to a desert island. There's an American, a Dutch and a Chinese. The American says:

-Listen up Fellas, I took some survival courses, so just do what I say and everything will be fine. I will take care of the food, you - pointing at the Dutch - will take care of the wood, and you - pointing at the Chinese - will take care of the supplies.

As agreed, they meet at the same place one hour later. The American is carrying some fish and a few squirrels. The Dutch is balancing a big pile of firewood. The Chinese, however is nowhere to be seen. They look around, search the place, nothing.

"Poor soul" they think "He must have fallen victim to some wild animal.

Then one of the bushes starts to shake and the Chinese jumps out grinning:

"SUH-PLIIIIIEEEEZZ"

[D. Shelton]

Originally Posted by architype

Roy Rogers had just bought a brand new pair of boots and left them out on the porch after a long ride.
The next day when he went out to put on his boots they had been mauled by the cat.
Roy pulled out his six shooter and shot the cat dead.
Hearing the commotion, Dale came out on the porch and asked,

"Pardon me Roy, is that the cat who chewed your new shoes?

That just plain sucks; I don't even get it. Worst joke I ever heard

[HHP]

A farmer was delivering some hay, and his customer said he didn't have the money to pay him but would give him two piglets as payment. The farmer took them, thinking his wife and his mother-in-law would like having them around.

When he gets to town, he is walking with one piglet under each arm and sees his friend Jim. Jim asked where he got the pigs and the farmer replied "I got this one for the wife and this one for the mother-in-law"

Jim paused, nodded and said "Good trade!"

[Luke W]

Originally Posted by architype

Roy Rogers had just bought a brand new pair of boots and left them out on the porch after a long ride.
The next day when he went out to put on his boots they had been mauled by the cat.
Roy pulled out his six shooter and shot the cat dead.
Hearing the commotion, Dale came out on the porch and asked,

"Pardon me Roy, is that the cat who chewed your new shoes?

[D. Shelton]

Originally Posted by Luke W

Hairball ?

[Silly Moustache]

In deepest Africa there was a large muddy river.

In the river stood two enormous hippos slowly chewing and doing what hippos do in such times, and have done for many thousands of years.

One hippo turned to the other and said - "I keep thinking its Tuesday".

[bmc]

A man is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher.

The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon he asks the drunk, 'Are you ready to find Jesus?'

The drunk answers, 'Yes, I am.'

So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls him up and asks the drunk, 'Brother have you found Jesus?'

The drunk replies, 'No, I haven't found Jesus.'

The preacher shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again for a little longer. He again pulls him out of the water and asks again, "Have you found Jesus??"

The drunk again answers, 'No, I haven't found Jesus.'

By this time the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk in the water again ---- but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds and when he begins kicking his arms and legs, he pulls him up. The preacher again asks the drunk, 'For the love of God have you found Jesus?'

The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the preacher,

'Are you sure this is where he fell in?'

[YamaYairi]

A blind man walks into a bar with a seeing eye dog. All of a sudden, he starts swinging the dog around by its tail. The bar tender says to him, "What the heck are you doing?" The blind man says, "Oh, just taking a look around."

[jeff crisp]

Originally Posted by architype

Roy Rogers had just bought a brand new pair of boots and left them out on the porch after a long ride.
The next day when he went out to put on his boots they had been mauled by the cat.
Roy pulled out his six shooter and shot the cat dead.
Hearing the commotion, Dale came out on the porch and asked,

"Pardon me Roy, is that the cat who chewed your new shoes?

Aahhh Chattanoogie.

[Bingoccc]

Why do they paint John Deere lawn mowers green?
.
.
.
So they can hide in the grass and watch the other mowers work.