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  #16  
Old 02-03-2018, 08:46 AM
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Todd,

I'm sorry to hear the news. As I've followed your updates over the years, it's apparent that you've been a good son to your parents and I'm sure your dad was grateful to have you by his side along the way. My condolences to both you and your mom.

Austin
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  #17  
Old 02-03-2018, 09:01 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by buddyhu View Post
Sorry to hear of your loss, Todd. Your post reveals that you were lucky to have him in your life, and that he was lucky to have you in his life. You offered such deep love and appreciation...rare and precious gifts to any person.

And the devotion you have shown: making such changes in your life to care for him in these last years. Such beauty within the challenges and sorrow!

I am sure that your Dad has experienced great pride in the man you are.

My condolences....
Todd, I knew from the thread title that this would be the news.

buddyhu expresses my thoughts exactly. Your post choked me up. You’re a good man. As the primary caregiver for my Mom (along with my wife) last year, I know the space you find yourself in. I hope you are, and will be ok. Sometimes it’s the period after where the endured effort and suppressed stress of the caregiving can come rushing out. You know how to take care of yourself. I wish you and your Mom well. Here’s a virtual toast to your Dad for a life well-lived and loved. May he Rest In Peace.
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  #18  
Old 02-03-2018, 09:04 AM
Martz911 Martz911 is offline
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Todd, I knew this day was coming, but I'm still very sorry to hear the news. It will certainly take some time to get over the troubles of the last few years, but you will eventually have nothing but great memories about your father. He was so lucky to have you as his son.
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  #19  
Old 02-03-2018, 09:12 AM
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Sorry for your loss and thank you for sharing. My condolences now and best wishes to you as life goes on.
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  #20  
Old 02-03-2018, 09:20 AM
OldGuitarGuy OldGuitarGuy is offline
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What a wonderful tribute to your father. Those who have suffered a similar loss feel your pain and sorrow. Though of little consolation at this moment, you have been truly blessed. My father, gone these past twenty-two years, is still with me in spirit. I think of him daily, and I suspect you will do the same with yours.
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  #21  
Old 02-03-2018, 09:45 AM
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Thanks for the kind words guys - as we've learned in our polls over the years, many of us are "of a certain age" and have been through this. It's wonderful of those of you that understand to reach out and show compassion.

I truly appreciate it.

Here's a tune I wrote for him 20 years ago, and re-worked about 6-7 years ago. Probably won't be able get through playing it for a long time without getting choked up.

https://app.box.com/file/620897473
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  #22  
Old 02-03-2018, 09:47 AM
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He may be gone but he is still with you.
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  #23  
Old 02-03-2018, 09:47 AM
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I am so sorry for your loss.
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  #24  
Old 02-03-2018, 09:48 AM
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I lost mine on 11/11/2011. It's hard when we lose that connection.

You were blessed to have him from the sound of things. Lots of good memories. My condolences to you and your family.
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  #25  
Old 02-03-2018, 09:59 AM
markallen markallen is offline
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Very sorry Todd, you have my deepest sympathies.

I will keep both you and your mom in my prayers.

Blessings,
Mark
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  #26  
Old 02-03-2018, 10:02 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Jelly View Post
He may be gone but he is still with you.
I fully believe that - I felt the presence of my late brother many times in the last 14 years.

I kept telling Dad yesterday that it was going to be OK, and that my brother and his Father in law were going to take him fishing again.
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  #27  
Old 02-03-2018, 10:06 AM
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I too am sorry to hear this, but as you already know, when there is no hope for improvement, escaping this earth is the best option.

When I lost my Dad, it was Christmas eve and he was home on hospice care. My mother and two brothers and I were told by the nurses that today would be the day. We all were there all day doing the best we could. It was Minnesota and the actual temp was 24 below with wind chills in the minus 60's. 10:30 that night, my one brother left to go the store for something and my other went out to start his car leaving my mom and I alone. That is when he left, 10:37 Christmas eve, each of us holding a hand. It was as you say, almost like he was waiting for them to leave so he could go.

I hope you hold on to the good memories, my Dad and I shared golf as well and we secretly took some of his ashes and spread them over his favorite course. No one knew but us, the 3 boys each carried some and when we came to a spot on the course where we had a unique memory of a great shot or joke by Dad, we told the others of the story and we would leave some of him there....

It is never easy, but you have your memories and your heart knows you have done all you can and much more than most could do for their parents.
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  #28  
Old 02-03-2018, 10:08 AM
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Sorry to hear about your loss but the story of your closeness was nice.

I can somewhat relate. My parents were of the same era. My dad and I were never really close when I was a kid. We got along, we just didn't really "bond". I was the youngest of a big family and he worked 2 or 3 jobs so we did our own things.

After I got married and had kids we actually started spending time together. My wife and I would go play cards with them weekly and we started genuinely having a relationship.

I was out of the country when he died (after a 2 year decline in health so not a shock), but my wife was by his bedside which made me very grateful.

Similarly, my wife and I were close to HER dad and when he died she was out of the room but I was with him when he passed.

So I am very aware of those times. It also sounds like the life sacrifices you made were totally a great choice.
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  #29  
Old 02-03-2018, 10:12 AM
Silly Moustache Silly Moustache is offline
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My condolences also.
I surly know what it is like to lose parents.

Back in '77 my 57 year old Mum died in terrible pain after a long fight with a cancer that could be easily diagnosed and treated now. I was at home consoling my father.

My Dad died peacefully in '85 from Alzheimers and a little bronchitis but my wife and sister were there with me as I held his hand. Our relationship had always been ...difficult ... but for some reason I whispered in his ear "I've always loved you Dad"
He opened his eye to look at me and a single tear fell, then he died.

I guess an easy death is something to look forward to.
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  #30  
Old 02-03-2018, 10:14 AM
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Condolences to you and your family, and I join with many other forum members in sharing your pain. I pray that your mother will endure this absolute heartbreak too. Yes, his suffering is now over. Lost my father in 1995 and Mom in 2016...she never got out of the depression from losing Dad until 2016... I send a song up to them quite often. Take care now.
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