#31
|
|||
|
|||
Quote:
__________________
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/defa...&content=music |
#32
|
|||
|
|||
A horse walks into the bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
|
#33
|
|||
|
|||
...a skeleton walks into a bar...
A nun walks by a bar and a very very drunk guy stumbles out and stops in front of her. He looks her up and down and then reaches back and punches her square in the face. She falls to the ground. She gets up, brushes herself off and is wondering why he did that. He slurs to her "You're not so tough, are you batman!"
__________________
Some Taylors and a Gibby. If you want to know more just ask. |
#34
|
|||
|
|||
Quote:
That's funny. I think I've heard all of others posted but this one is new to me. |
#35
|
|||
|
|||
Spike the dog on a whim decides to enter a dog show and to his amazement he wins the "Mixed Breed" class. On his way home he stops at the bar to celebrate and has a couple too many. When he staggers home he forgets his winning ribbon at the bar. His wife is furious when he gets in late but Spike says "I was celebrating my dog show win." but of course his wife doesn't believe him because he has nothing to show that he won. He says he left it at the bar. She still doesn't believe him so he tells his son to go back to the bar and retrieve it. When young Spot walks into the bar the bartender asks him "Whatcha havin', kid?"
"Do you have Pap's blue ribbon?" |
#36
|
|||
|
|||
So, a termite walks into a bar... looks around for a second and says, loudly, "Hey! Where's the bar tender?"
__________________
"Home is where I hang my hat, but home is so much more than that. Home is where the ones and the things I hold dear are near... And I always find my way back home." "Home" (working title) J.S, Sherman |
#37
|
|||
|
|||
Guy walks into a bar - exclaims "Free drinks for everybody on me - set them up bartender!
The bartender gives him the bill and he says "Well, I don't have any money." The irate bartender punches him out and throws him out. A few minutes later the guy walks back in and slurs " Free drinks for everybody on me!" " 'cept for you", he tells the bartender, "You get ornery when you drink." Last edited by heni30; 07-08-2013 at 12:44 PM. |
#38
|
|||
|
|||
A polar bear walks into a bar and the bartender asks him what he'd like to drink. The polar bear says, "uhhhh uhhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh a glass of ice water." The bartender says, "why the large pause?"
__________________
-Tod |
#39
|
||||
|
||||
now that one is new to me and funny
__________________
Enjoy the Journey.... Kev... KevWind at Soundcloud KevWind at YouYube https://www.youtube.com/playlist?lis...EZxkPKyieOTgRD System : Studio system Avid Carbon interface , PT Ultimate 2023.12 -Mid 2020 iMac 27" 3.8GHz 8-core i7 10th Gen ,, Ventura 13.2.1 Mobile MBP M1 Pro , PT Ultimate 2023.12 Sonoma 14.4 |
#40
|
|||
|
|||
A man walks into a bar with his pet giraffe, which proceeds to lie down on the floor. The bartender looks over and asks the man, "What's that lyin' there?" The man replies, "that's not a lion. That's a giraffe."
|
#41
|
|||
|
|||
Two Men walk into a bar.
The first man says "Can I have some H2O please" The second man says "Can I have some H2O too please" The second man dies.. Many of you may be confused... some of you will laugh |
#42
|
||||
|
||||
Quote:
I got it and didn't laugh. |
#43
|
|||
|
|||
Guy walks into a bar and orders a double bourbon.
Bartender pours the drink, the guy immediately downs it and orders another. Bartender pours the second double, which the guy proceeds to chug down. He orders a third double; as the bartender begins pouring, he says to the guy, "Man, I haven't seen anybody drink like that in years. What's the matter, did you lose your job or something?". The guy replies, "Worse...". Bartender says, "Death in the family?". Guy says, "Worse". Bartender says, what could be worse than either of those things?" As the guy begins to down the third double he says to the bartender, "I've only got about 35 cents on me..." |
#44
|
|||
|
|||
Three vampires walk into a bar.
"What'll it be?" asks the bartender. The first asks for a pint of type A. The second orders the same. The third asks for a pint of plasma. "So that'll be two Bloods and one Blood Lite." |
#45
|
|||
|
|||
wow tough crowd...
|