Any experienced teachers here? I'm seeking advice on how to help a beginning student - Page 2

ARiley · #16 03-24-2017, 07:59 AM

Can you get her some Gorilla Tips or other fingertip protectors? If it hurts, it *hurts.*

What kind of guitar is she struggling with? Does she like the instrument itself? She's probably associated it with the pain in her fingertips and doesn't like that one anymore.

Maybe suggest to her parents that she might do better with a cute 3/4 size instrument with nylon strings -- a Luna safari nylon spruce ($149) might be just the thing.

Good luck!!

Clallam · #17 03-24-2017, 08:42 AM

I agree with capefisherman on the age. We hear about kids who are good players really young because that's so rare. If every kid could do it at those ages it wouldn't be a matter for comment. If she needs another few years before she starts over, that's ok. I also like "she's too young" as a face-saving way out. I'm more concerned about the rest of her life than about her learning guitar. I don't want to see a kid going "I'm no good at anything, I failed at music, I failed at...." . That's life destroying.

mr. beaumont · #18 03-24-2017, 09:24 AM

So, a few things.

If a kid isn't progressing, nobody's buying her another instrument. Let's get real here. And parents who buy garbage instruments in the first place from Walmart or whatever are not the ones who ever understand (or admit) "you bought an instrument that's garbage and your kid can't play it)

Secondly, I try never to give up on a student, even if their heart isn't in it (because it's more the "parents" idea.) I realize this might come from th fact I teach at a public school as well as private lessons, and at my public school job, there's plenty of kids who don't want to be in my class, but it's still my job to teach them, find an "in," if you will.

This can be frustrating in a private setting, but my take is, "your parents are paying for this, I'm gonna see if I can get you hooked."

Do get the parents involved though. A really good way of doing so is a practice journal. Parents sign off on what was practiced and when. And undoubtedly, you will learn very quickly how involved the parents are actually going to be. Many will lie on their kid's behalf! Then you (kindly) point things out, and a lot of parents will get real. That's the best way to help a kid.

DupleMeter · #19 03-24-2017, 11:35 AM

So many things could be going on here. In my 39 years of teaching I've seen a lot. Here are some thoughts.

First off, you mention she is shy/introverted. Right there poses a huge problem...not because she's shy, but because you need to work on connecting with her so she feels comfortable. It's very, very, difficult to venture out into certain failure (because that's how we learn, by trying until we get it right) when you haven't found that connection & trust with your teacher.

What I have found with the young & shy students is that you have to work extra hard at gaining their trust. Talk a lot, ask a lot of questions that you answer yourself to draw her out. You'll have a lot of single sided conversations at first, but I've found that a great way to draw them out. "Do I talk too much? I don't think I talk too much. Some people say I talk a lot. Do You think I talk a lot? You don't think I talk too much..."

I also find that with the younger ones, if I can get them to laugh (usually at me...I do that to make me seem less like their older teacher & more like just a person they can relax around) they get comfortable much faster.

And yes, she's obviously not putting time in, but you can't expect her to motivate herself. You need to help her find the motivation. Others have mentioned single note melodies. Try simple nursery rhymes...and use them as a launch point for conversation "yeah, I know it's a little babyish for you, but can I tell you a secret? I always liked this song even when I got older. Is that silly?" You know make her feel like you get her...and eventually she'll open up.

An old education trick: find something she did well and praise, praise & praise it. Feed her confidence. Point out her progress (even if it's so slight...look for anything you can latch on to). This feeds a child's self-esteem and confidence.

Try to remember - you're intimidating simply because you are older & a person in a role of authority...regardless of how you perceive yourself.

You *might* want to talk with her parents and just say "hey, she's really reserved..so we're spending time getting comfortable, because without a comfort level, without some trust I can't get her to really learn." But I wouldn't go right to the "she's not progressing" speech until you've made sure she is setup to learn & progress.

Basically, if her lessons are a place she feels safe, relaxed & like she is succeeding she'll want to be there.

I hope some of that helps.

cagewithakay · #20 03-24-2017, 02:36 PM

I appreciate your feedback here. Interestingly, I've been giving lessons to her grandfather for about two years now and we have a great relationship. He said she was interested in learning so for her birthday he got her a guitar and set her up with lessons from me; he's who I'd have to talk to.

As far as her motivation and self confidence, I do try to interact with her as much as I can and get a feel with what she wants to do, but she just doesn't know at this stage. I will take your other suggestions into consideration for sure.

cagewithakay · #21 03-24-2017, 02:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by capefisherman

In defense of the kid, remember that unless they have studied some other instrument the only learning experience they have is in school where the knowledge is conveyed on mostly mental rather than physical level. Learning the guitar involves both of course, and trying to make a child understand that they must even put up with pain to succeed is tough regardless of their enthusiasm or desire. I have a speech I give to the parents before the lessons with a child begin in which I require them to explain that the child will experience finger pain and that he or she absolutely MUST keep a regular practice schedule. If they have that talk with their kid and things are still a go, we give it a try.

That's something I haven't even thought about before. Great point!

cagewithakay · #22 03-24-2017, 02:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DupleMeter

First off, you mention she is shy/introverted. Right there poses a huge problem...not because she's shy, but because you need to work on connecting with her so she feels comfortable. It's very, very, difficult to venture out into certain failure (because that's how we learn, by trying until we get it right) when you haven't found that connection & trust with your teacher.

Thanks. As an introverted person myself, I notice it's especially hard to connect with introverted students, but it's all part of becoming a better teacher in my opinion. I'm gonna talk with her grandfather (he's who set her up with lessons and he's a student of mine as well) and just try and explore some different options before we do something drastic.

tonyo · #23 03-24-2017, 03:38 PM

what about moving the student to a uke.

menhir · #24 03-24-2017, 08:01 PM

As a long time teacher (not guitar) I would seriously consider that it's not the strings that are the problem, but the student.

At least based on my reading of your description.

I get them like this from time to time.. Often, probably more often than not, students that act this way just don't give a crap, or are more interested in getting sympathy or in spreading misery than getting results. And yes, sometimes they are there because someone else wants them to be there. After a while, they can really drag one down.

It's frustrating, but I still do my best to inspire them. Ocassionally, I get a real successful result. And sometimes I have to accept that my time would be better suited teaching someone else with more drive and....respect.

I'd talk to the parents.

Gmountain · #25 03-24-2017, 08:18 PM

Yes, sometimes the simplest answers are the best. She's just not that interested in it.

Clallam · #26 03-24-2017, 10:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cagewithakay

Interestingly, I've been giving lessons to her grandfather for about two years now and we have a great relationship. He said she was interested in learning so for her birthday he got her a guitar and set her up with lessons from me; he's who I'd have to talk to.

I wonder if she had any idea what she was getting into besides it being something her grandfather did. She may not have expected either the sore fingers or the steep initial learning curve.

Maybe her grandfather would have some insight as how to motivate her. He also could easily find out what kind of music she likes which might help you know what direction to go.

What if you give the grandfather some tips on what he could help her with and see if they could practice together a little? Even 5 minutes a day would help with the sore fingers and once she beats that problem the rest will seem easier.

PistolPete · #27 03-25-2017, 06:09 AM

Speaking as someone with no experience of teaching, who struggled to get on with piano lessons in my younger years, have you tried asking her what she wants to play? I've often thought a lot of the problem for me was being expected to learn Frere Jacques when at home I was listening to SRV.

cagewithakay · #28 03-25-2017, 08:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PistolPete

Speaking as someone with no experience of teaching, who struggled to get on with piano lessons in my younger years, have you tried asking her what she wants to play?.

I have, but I've found in almost every case that I ask with a young student starting out, they shake their head. It seems like most just want to learn to play guitar in general with no specific songs or artists they really like.