Funny Thing About Grief

[DungBeatle]

Originally Posted by Puddleglum

Wow, what an unthinkable tragedy!

Then my brother and our mother got into a big argument over nothing and both of our parents left and never attended the funeral. Then both of our parents got old and sick and died. He wouldn't help with anything. No, he got a lawyer to try to force me (the executor) to split everything up, fast as possible. We haven't spoken in years.
~Bob'

[Rick Shepherd]

Originally Posted by DungBeatle

My heart goes out to you. I lost a 7 YO boy. Hit by a driver who ran a red light while he was crossing the street. Right in front of me and my daughter. It was a long time ago, but I think of him every day. Take care. There are people who love you.
~Bob

OMG, that is heartbreaking! So Sorry!

[Rick Shepherd]

Originally Posted by DungBeatle

Then my brother and our mother got into a big argument over nothing and both of our parents left and never attended the funeral. Then both of our parents got old and sick and died. He wouldn't help with anything. No, he got a lawyer to try to force me (the executor) to split everything up, fast as possible. We haven't spoken in years.
~Bob'

Sorry to hear this Bob! 7 months after my daughter died, I almost died. The stress of it all caused a previous heart bypass graft to tear. Counting blessings in this regard! It is sad when family matters create difficulty too. When you lose a child, these other things can seem trivial in comparison.

[DungBeatle]

Originally Posted by Rick Shepherd

Sorry to hear this Bob! 7 months after my daughter died, I almost died. The stress of it all caused a previous heart bypass graft to tear. Counting blessings in this regard! It is sad when family matters create difficulty too. When you lose a child, these other things can seem trivial in comparison.

That's so sad! I hope you're OK!
~Bob

[LiveMusic]

There is so much heartbreak for too many people. My heart goes out to all of you. I hope you can, somehow, find peace. I've haven't experienced horrific loss like some in this thread but I've lost parents and that was terrible each time. The only thing I feel that helps is staying busy, keeping the mind occupied and stimulated. I write songs. They say that helps, don't know but I am somewhat addicted to writing, maybe it is cathartic.

[SFCRetired]

Sorry for your loss. Reminds me of my friend Alex. Lost his son to covid and less than a year later he lost his wife to cancer. I don't see how you or he gets up every day.

I recently lost my sister but she had been fading for a while and I made peace with that a long time ago.

I guess at my age you best get used to this kind of grief because it sure seems like it rears its ugly head more than it should.

[fitness1]

Just read something I thought may be of some comfort to those who have posted here.

There is no solution to grief.
It is not a problem to be solved or a task to be completed.
It is an unfinished jigsaw. A puzzle with a piece perpetually lost.
You can still tell what the picture is, but there are details missing.
Like the sky missing a cloud or the ocean missing a wave.
It is still the sky.
It is still the ocean.
But it is quietly incomplete.
This is still life.
But it is missing a piece. A piece you will always long for.
And there is no solution to your puzzle because that piece was shaped to
your jigsaw – to your life, to you – and you will never replace it.
It is irreplaceable because it was shaped uniquely by love.
So it is ok that you’ll never quite feel full again.
It’s ok to know that you’ll never feel the true satisfaction of completing
the puzzle.
This is still love.
It is still life.
It is just quietly incomplete.
*****
Becky Hemsley 2023

[Mycroft]

Originally Posted by Rick Shepherd

I lost my daughter in 2020 to Covid. Three years have passed. I have learned many things about grief, and how others respond to my loss. Unfortunately, people don't respond very well because they don't know how, and it is an uncomfortable, very sad subject to consider. I recommend people educate themselves about grief and learn to be more supportive to those they know and love. Losing a child is incredibly difficult, so a little knowledge can go a long way. Consider the fact that those who suffer this type of loss have to endure the unimaginable, so be there for them. In the end, you have your children, they don't.

I am so, so, sorry.

[Mycroft]

Lost both maternal grandparents in the two months before graduating high school and turning 18 (same week). Stroke and heart attack. I saw them nearly every week of my life. Mom went into the hospital the week after her father's funeral. The cancer took her 3 weeks after my birthday.

I realized much later that it was quite a few years before I would let myself get really close to someone. If you are not too close, it doesn't hurt so much if something happens to them. But it's lonely...

[Mr. Jelly]

Throughout my life I've was dealt with a family where they passed at younger ages. Not my parents but brothers and sister along with their children.

When my brother passed when I was 18 yo the only thing said to me that was of any real help came from a friend who had lost his mother. He said you will never feel any different about your loss. But in time you won't think about it as often.