Why I Generally Don't Enjoy Playing In Front Of Others? What About You?

[Puddleglum]

When one starts playing guitar, there seems to be an innate belief that the whole point of playing is to eventually entertain others. I held this belief for a number of years before I realized that playing guitar can be like reading. A person reads alone and some people prefer to play guitar alone in the privacy of home.

I've heard of people who actually see no point in playing if there's no gig. I cannot relate to this.

One of the great things about getting older is that one starts to figure out life along the way. Something I noticed about playing guitar in front of others was this: I'd get out my guitar and someone would ask to hear a certain song. If by chance I knew the song and began to play it, I'd notice that in most cases, the person would seem to immediately lose interest, and often call out another song. When the intro bits were done to the next song, same thing: a loss of interest.

Most of all, though, I noticed that if I didn't know the song the person wanted to hear, I got the idea that I was being viewed as a lesser musician. All of this combined served to take away the joy of playing for others. Yes, there have been good experiences as well, but for the most part I just enjoy playing at home alone. I would love to find someone to jam with, but musical compatibility is a whole other challenge.

Has anyone else experienced any of this?

[Goat Mick]

I was drawn to guitar by watching my dad play and sing in front of friends and family at gatherings when I was very young. I was mesmerized at how he held the attention of the room and how happy it made everyone in attendance. I do play a lot for my own enjoyment, but performing is my first true love. When I decide to hang up my gigging hat, I'll keep playing but probably not as much. I love making people happy with music and that's the main reason I play.

[Monty Christo]

Originally Posted by Puddleglum

I'd get out my guitar and someone would ask to hear a certain song.

I noticed that if I didn't know the song the person wanted to hear, I got the idea that I was being viewed as a lesser musician.

I've avoided this by being a songwriter instead of a jukebox. I have a couple of obscure covers in my repertoire, but by-and-large I only play originals. It's an easy out when requests come, and if someone thinks less of me as a result, who cares?

And there's nothing wrong with not gigging. Not every writer is published; not every painter shows in a gallery. For most, it's about the joy of creating something, whether there's an audience or not.

This is why I feel sorry for actors and stand-up comics.

[MartinD12-20]

In my 20's and 30's I played in several bands but never as a solo artist. For reference I'm in my mid 70's now. We played the songs we knew and very seldom took requests.

There were nights that the crowds loved us and nights they did not. There were nights we played great and nights we did not.

One thing I learned the hard way is that few people can play guitar, even fewer have the guts to get up on stage and play but everyone you play for is a critic. No one was more critical of me than myself so I soon developed the attitude that if you can do better than me then get up here and show me otherwise your opinion of my playing means nothing to me.

I still enjoy playing my guitars. And on occasion I will play with/for friends and family. But I play now for the pure enjoyment is gives me. In fact my heart Doctor asked me if I played an instrument or sang. When I told him I did both he said "great both are good for your heart".

Until I reach a physical state that forces me to stop playing I will continue to play as often as I want.

[mr. beaumont]

I'm happy to be where I am at with music-- I do enjoy playing in front of people, but music is also not my sole source of income, so I can be picky about what gigs I take.

There was a time in my life where music was my sole source of income, and that was TOUGH. I have a lot of respect for folks who can make that work.

Now I try to live by the words of Charlie Christian: "I only take my guitar out if I'm going to learn something, make some money, or have some fun."

[Charlie Bernstein]

Originally Posted by Puddleglum

When one starts playing guitar, there seems to be an innate belief that the whole point of playing is to eventually entertain others.

Heh heh. At my pub and farmers market gigs, I'm pretty much background music. It's to an audience, but mostly a pretend audience.

But occasionally I have gigs where people are actually there to listen. It means more practice and review than usual, and it can be harrowing, but I like doing it.

Originally Posted by Puddleglum

I held this belief for a number of years before I realized that playing guitar can be like reading. A person reads alone and some people prefer to play guitar alone in the privacy of home.

I've heard of people who actually see no point in playing if there's no gig. I cannot relate to this.

It's sort of how I feel about playing electric guitar. It's an ensemble instrument. There might not be an audience, but if it's not with a band, it's pointless. I haven't had an electric gig in five years, and I haven't picked up an electric in five years. I just play acoustic.

I'd love to get an electric thing going, but it's no fun playing an electric guitar without at least bass and drums.

Originally Posted by Puddleglum

One of the great things about getting older is that one starts to figure out life along the way.

Then explain it to me! I haven't found that at all. As usual, Kinky Friedman said it best: "I used to be sure of a lot of things. Now the only thing I'm sure of is I won't die young."

Originally Posted by Puddleglum

Something I noticed about playing guitar in front of others was this: I'd get out my guitar and someone would ask to hear a certain song. If by chance I knew the song and began to play it, I'd notice that in most cases, the person would seem to immediately lose interest, and often call out another song. When the intro bits were done to the next song, same thing: a loss of interest.

Most of all, though, I noticed that if I didn't know the song the person wanted to hear, I got the idea that I was being viewed as a lesser musician.

I just say, "I don't know it, but how about this?" and play something in the same vein or by the same artist.

My duo buddy Buddy and I play mostly Americana and blues — a typical blue-jeans-and-flannel-shirt acoustic act. A few weeks ago, someone asked us if we knew Earth, Wind & Fire's "September." Us? I mean, come on, right?

Buddy stifled a snort and said, "No, but how about this?" And launched into "Peaceful Easy Feeling." No relation to "September" whatsoever. (What was she thinking? Apparently nuthin'! But she loved it, and Buddy got the whole room on their feet and singing along.

It's not whether you know the song. It's how you answer the question.

Originally Posted by Puddleglum

All of this combined served to take away the joy of playing for others.

Audiences are fun. I enjoy gigging. I think of it as practice without a net. But mainly, I just like playing with other people, whether there's an audience or not.

Originally Posted by Puddleglum

Yes, there have been good experiences as well, but for the most part I just enjoy playing at home alone.

That's what counts. It's what separates the guitar players from the wanna-be-guitar-players. If they don't like woodshedding, they should find a new hobby.

Originally Posted by Puddleglum

I would love to find someone to jam with, but musical compatibility is a whole other challenge.

It sure is!

Originally Posted by Puddleglum

Has anyone else experienced any of this?

As I say, I like having an audience. Had a blast last Saturday night playing for some bar drunks. They were silly, and so were we.

But I entirely get it. Only you know what's fun. In the immortal words of the immortal Johnny Mercer, "You got to ac-cent-chu-ate the positive, eliminate the negative, latch on to the affirmative, and don't mess with Mr. In-between!"

[rllink]

I'm fickle about it. Sharing my music is my thing, it is my motivation. I get a bit depressed about it if I have to only entertain myself for a length of time. But how I share it, that is the thing.

First, I like playing with other musicians. The jam was made for me. For me there's nothing better than getting together with friends on a Sunday afternoon and everyone playing music together. Or having someone over during the week. I like playing for an audience with other musicians in a less than prime time setting. I love busking. I will do a solo gig on occasion if the vibe is right. I like people to sing along, be participants, not sit there, so there has to be that kind of venue if I'm going to play solo.

I can't really deal with a regular band, the structure, the drama and the responsibility of being a band member sucks the joy out of it for me. I am not committed enough. Too much like a job. I won't just pull out my guitar and play songs for my family and friends at social get togethers. People just get too weird in that setting. The exception to that last rule is our neighborhood bon fires in the fall that turn into an alcohol fueled song fest.

If someone asks me to play a song I don't know, I just tell them I don't know it. But unless a song has a complicated chord progression that wanders off somewhere before it comes back, I can pick it up on the fly a lot of times. I do it a lot at jams. I've had people ask me to play a song, I kind of have it in my head but I don't know the lyrics. I will tell them that if they can sing it, I can play it. I've had some great moments with people doing that, a few train wrecks, but everyone knows were just having fun.

So that's where I stand on it.

[rollypolly]

I’m in the play for myself category. But i have slowly over time realized that i would eventually like to play for others. There's a different type of satisfaction in successfully entertaining or connecting with an audience. some of us, like myself, have to force ourselves into it. i think it could be really rewarding.

[Petty1818]

I can't say I have really experienced this before. I mean sometimes I feel less motivated to play when I don't have a gig, but I still do play for myself. I think it's all in the type of person you are. There are those out there that just have to entertain and get a thrill out of it. I find that's me to an extent. I love being on stage and feeding off of the audience, but I know I could never tour and keep up that lifestyle or, play weekly.

However, think of the session guys who never play live and just record. Some musicians still want to have a goal, but don't need that live experience. Then there are those who just like to play alone, at home. I also think of those musicians in bands who toured for a number of years and had to just stop. It was enjoyment for the time, but quickly faded.

[dnf777]

My lab thinks Im the love child of Chris Stapleton, Tommy Emmanuel, and Taylor Swift! (figure that one out!). In any case, thats all the audience I need!

[Charlie Bernstein]

Originally Posted by MartinD12-20

. . . No one was more critical of me than myself . . . .

Ditto dat! All I hear are my mistakes. Luckily, everyone else is listening to the good parts. Or not listening at all.

[Charlie Bernstein]

Originally Posted by mr. beaumont

. . . Now I try to live by the words of Charlie Christian: "I only take my guitar out if I'm going to learn something, make some money, or have some fun."

Thanks. I love that. It pretty much covers the waterfront, doesn't it? Practicing, gigging, jamming.

[67goat]

In my personal experience I have found the vast majority of people are amazed that somebody is willing to get up in front of people and play. Even nights where I was off I would only get a couple people that would say anything negative. Far outweighed by the people that said something positive, even when I butchered their request.

[Rev Roy]

I didn’t start playing until I retired. So from the get-go I’ve viewed it as a personal hobby solely for personal self expression and joy. No audience wanted or needed. In my pre-retirement life I had plenty of audiences - preaching every week to hundreds of folks and giving readings of my poetry/fictions around the country in bars, bookstores and colleges. More than happy these days to simply keep company with a fine guitar. Period.

[Steve DeRosa]

Started at 10 years old - always loved it, always will...