Lessons from Mom

[cotten]

My Mom was not a saint, but didn't miss it by much, and for that I am grateful. I invite you to post examples of the lessons you learned from your Mom.

I remember my Mom's being very hurt and disappointed by the actions of a long time friend. No need to go into details. I was a teenager, and was ready to explode in anger and disgust at this friend. I would have been "entitled." Mom sat me down and gently taught me about forgiveness and grace. It was a long conversation, but included a line that stayed with me.

"Forgiveness and grace are never more powerful than when they are least deserved."

She extended a steady right hand of forgiveness and friendship, and it was angrily slapped away repeatedly, for several years. It eventually paid off. The relationship was restored, and it continued to be a blessing until Mom died.

That was a hard, but important lesson that Mom taught me. What did your Mom teach you? I mean, other than potty training.

Cotten

[JCave]

Ahhhh.

Mother was the glue. Being her primary care giver was the easiest thing I've ever done.

[reeve21]

Hi John,

I was waiting for this thread!

I just came from lunch with mom (and dad). She is in her 80's now, failing vision but otherwise well. She relies on my dad for transportation and help getting around outside of their house.

What I learned from her is gratitude. She has not had the easiest life. Top of her class in school but no opportunity to go to college. Once we were all in school she worked full time when that was not "normal" for a mother of 4 kids, and became the "go-to" person upper management relied on. Caretaker for her parents and in-laws as they aged. A person of faith who witnesses more by deed than word.

She thinks she is the most blessed person in the world, and is so happy and pleased by any small thing that anyone does for her, or that she can do for anyone else. That "attitude of gratitude" is the key to her happiness.

I don't remember anything in particular that she ever said, but everything she has ever done has been her legacy and lesson for me.

[AmericanEagle]

I am glad this thread was started.
My mom was a saint.
She was an amazing mother.
She raised three children by herself,
even though she never divorced my dad.
My dad did nothing to help raise us.
Not only did she raise three great kids (me included)
she was the main money-maker in the household
(my dad never tried hard to work, and milked the social-security
system for an early 'disability', and spent almost the whole monthly
paychecks he received on himself.
She worked, cooked, cleaned, took care of the kids,
took us to church, taught us right from wrong, etc.
The list goes on and on.
All of my good qualities, every-single-one, came from my dear mother.

[Silly Moustache]

I was wondernig when/if we'd have a thread about our Mums.

My Mum was born in 1920, one of twins to make ten kids.

When she was in, I think,her early teens she was run over by a truck. the front wheel went over her face, lower jaw, and the back wheels went over her thighs.

She spent over six months in hospital as they removed all her teeth and rebuilt her jaw and hips.
She always had trouble with digestion, but apart from never having her own teeth, there was only one tiny scar on her cheek to witness all the damage done.

She married at 18 to a man nine years older than her, and not knowing the facts of life!

She fell pregnant on her wedding night, and three months after my sster was born, had to cope with the blitz with bombs falling all around (the new house just happened to be close to some factories).
She had me (probably a mistake) when she was 28.

She loved everyone - always a giver, hilariously naive, loved to sing and dance .

She died aged 57 of a cancer that would be easily cured nowadays.

[Nyghthawk]

My mom was the household disciplinarian. I have the scars on my back to prove it. She thought a horse quirt was a good tool to beat what is now diagnosed as ADHD out of a boy. She is a hoarder who has to be reminded regularly that people are worth more than things. She spent most of her adult life ingratiating herself with the narrow-minded southern belles of the little hick town we live in.

She is 86 now and her abilities are fading. She will barely recognize this even after falling for numerous scams. I am her primary caregiver. God, I miss my dad!

[Glennwillow]

My mother taught me that life wasn't fair, so there was no sense whining about it. She also repeatedly challenged me to "show some guts." My mother was fairly adventurous and brave and expected the same from me and from my other brothers and sisters.

I think her approach to life turned out to be a valuable lesson for me.

- Glenn

[buddyhu]

As i try to answer the question, i recall the old saw: "My life is my message". My mom just lived her life. She was relentlessly honest; precise; self-sufficient; generous with her time, her knowledge and her money; she did not accept lame excuses that didn't really make sense....she expected people to be thoroughgoing in their thinking, and for their thinking to be consistent with their actions. She inspired many people with her curiosity, her adventuresomeness, and her loyalty.

In short, she was a really bright, really good-hearted woman, who persevered in her path of honesty and truth even when she was misunderstood or unappreciated or (sometimes, but not often) scorned.

At her memorial service, a man who had known her (but not as a friend...more because they were repeatedly thrown together in their community) for a couple of decades said to me, "She was a good woman. She was a tough woman, but she was a good woman." Very true, though she never thought of herself as tough, and proabably would have made efforts to be a bit softer if she had understood how she seemed so formidable and tough to others.

We lost her almost 10 years ago. My appreciation of her and her gifts has only grown since she has passed.

[BrunoBlack]

As in the thread about Dads, I am equally fortunate to have a wonderful Mom. My mother selflessly organized our lives and provided us with a happy, warm, safe and loving home, even though she had an active professional career as an RN and Social Worker to manage. She taught me what is important in life. It was clear the guiding principles were family, love, kindness, generosity, persistence, hard work and mental focus. Mom was ahead of her time with regards to feminism and I was always impressed by her sense of fairness, strength & determination. I learned by example that it is not acceptable to be a quitter or to do things half-hearted. I also learned about the importance in showing up on time, being committed and making a presentation that I would be proud of. I also learned the importance of being open-minded and compassionate, while never compromising core values. She still has that spark & spunk at 90 years old. I'm very lucky.

[Brucebubs]

My mother was a horrible, horrible person.

[cmd612]

My mama told me:

- you can't hurry love; no, you'll just have to wait.
- there'd be days like this.
- don't take your guns to town!
- a man is a two-faced, a worrisome thing, who'll leave you to sing the blues in the night.
- not to come.

I should have listened to what my mama told me.

[cotten]

cmd612: When will they ever learn?!

cotten

[reeve21]

Mama said, "Don't go near that river
Don't be hanging around old Catfish John."

[fazool]

My mom was like the energizer bunny - always going, super type-A personality. She over-achieved at everything. She was walking the day after double knee replacement. The following week she was measuring her walk in miles. They said it was a 6-12 month recovery. After 1-2 months, the doctor told her she was all done - she already achieved all the milestones in his recovery plan. That over-achiever mentality touched everything.

After having six kids, she went to college, got a nursing degree and had a very successful nursing career including promotions and private nursing contracts.

After having watched her two past patients geriatric lives I think she lost the heart for that field. She quit nursing after the second one died.

So she got her Realtor license and launched a successful 15 year real estate career, including being a top realtor in this part of the state.

So she taught me there is always time to pursue a career and to succeed at it.

She came from a humble non-college background, as did our dad. But she valued education and instilled that within us. All six of her kids grew up to be college graduates, three with master's degrees.

[cotten]

Wow! I admire your Mom, fazool!

cotten