Brand New Original Song Premiere: Light Years Away

[g6120]

Wanted to share my latest with you. Here's the description
which explains the inspiration:

The concept of writing a song about childhood and the
freedom I had in mine has been on my mind. I see so many
children now so constantly watched and monitored and
scheduled that I grow concerend about my own.

This song idea came to me when I went to my son's
pre-school and watched the kids play in a fenced and
secure yard. Even then there were some parents following
their kids telling them what and what not to do.
I just stood back and watched my boy have fun.

I talked to another parent about how when I was a child
I had no fences and used to take off and ride my bike or
go fishing or hiking with friends. My parents always
trusted that I would come home OK. Looking back on it
I realize how lucky I was to have that freedom.

My son is learning about the solar system right now so
that's where I got the idea for "Light Years Away"
referencing time travel and speed of light.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d3-f7GChXvo

.

[Bob1131]

Gil,

I think this song is a good topic with lots of possibilities. It's a good draft, and I liked the imagery and references you used in the lyrics (yellow brick road, rainbow, carpet ride, etc.). There were a couple of places where I thought a rhyme opportunity was missed, but that is just my out-dated sense of poetry! LOL

I understand why you used "light years away," but on first exposure it didn't feel right to me. With the rest of the lyrics tending toward melancholy emotion traveling at the speed of light just seemed out of place and was starkly an unemotional term. Maybe that's a good thing...jolting the listener back to reality? I'll have to listen a couple more times to see if it grows on me.

As always, I enjoyed your expressive and heartfelt performance! I think this is a keeper, Gil. Thanks for sharing it!

[cotten]

I thoroughly enjoyed it, Gill. Very dreamy in a nostalgic kind of way - remembering yesterday, but being light years away. I understand what Bob is saying. Wonder if maybe "If I could go back at the speed of light..." might work, or perhaps, "But we're traveling at the speed of light," which I like even more, given the imagery you're using.

Oh, and I don't think I'd resolve it back to G at the end, but it just hang there on that unresolved IV (C) chord. That would make the ending even dreamier...

I know, everybody's a critic! Don't mean to be. I really like your song. Thanks for sharing it.

cotten


Of course, nostalgia isn't as much fun when you get so old you can't remember anything.

[rmyAddison]

Gil,

Just posted on youtube, very nice, liked it a lot. Covers are nice but that songs is yours, good job!