Performance nerves killing me!

[troggg]

Originally Posted by tonyo

Another thing that helped me with open mics and having open mics solve my anxiety problem was rehearsing at home with an amplified / decent setup. Before I got a good amp, I had an acoustic amp and it's sound was so ordinary that I never rehearsed with it.

That means when I did an open mic, my playing position was different, my guitar was suddenly amplified and my singing was into a directional mic. All of which were different enough to be the some of the issues trogg referred to.

Then I got a good amp (AER) and rehearsed at home standing up and singing into a mic. I did a LOT of rehearsing before my next open mic and was the most relaxed I'd ever been at the next open mic. I was able to relax much more as I wasn't creating a different sound to what I had at home.

Then open mic added the challenge of it being in front of a whole lot more people than at home and that added some anxiety.

Yes to all points. It's particularly helpful to practice mic technique with an actual mic. Although it's still hard to practice waiting around for hours until you perform without being able to warm up.

If you live in an area with a lot of open mics, if you choose one that's newer or less popular sometimes they'll let you play more songs meaning you have more time to face your fears. Once you realize public stoning is seldom the penalty for making a mistake, things get easier.

[Todd Tipton]

I haven't had a chance to read all of the replies; my apologies if I am repeating any information.

A performance situation can be daunting. For most of us, it can be a very humbling experience where we realize that we don't know the music as well as we thought we did. Our minds edit out the worst of our playing, and we tend to remember the best of our playing.

A performance situation is simply ANYTIME we are concerned about our playing. In front of hundreds, in a living room with 10 people, playing for a friend, or just simply knowing someone else is in the house while you are practicing. To play music well, every single detail has to be practiced and made into habit. Reducing or eliminating this concern is no different. It isn't something we just do without lots of practice. I highly recommend an old read called THE INNER GAME OF TENNIS by Timothy Gallway. (There was an INNER GAME OF MUSIC followup but I don't recommend it; the tennis book is better).

Performance is something that also has to be practiced. Always. Part of the routine. Once New Repertoire is learned, it falls into the Old Repertoire. This is the music we have to play for others. That music needs to be regularly "performed" in a safe space so that you can begin replacing habits of concern with focus on how you want the music to sound.

I tell all of my students that there are two types of errors: Major errors and minor errors. Major errors are any types of errors that cause you to hesitate. Minor errors are any errors that are a less than flawless performance, but cause no hesitation. If you make major errors, then the piece needs to return to new repertoire and more practice is needed. This is actually more common that one might realize. It reality, a piece may go back and forth from one category to the other several times before truly settling in the old repertoire category. This is great and is all part of the process of better learning the music.

In short, you need practice performances. You need to pretend to perform these pieces regularly so that you may begin practicing dealing with minor errors. Minor errors are to be ignored and that takes practice! Lots of practice! You can simply imagine that you are walking out on stage, or into the living room, or where ever your imaginary performance takes place. You tell yourself, "this one counts." You then simply pretend to perform, covering up and ignoring the minor errors. To add a bit of dramas, you can turn your chair another direction, you can play in another room, or you can even record yourself with audio or video.

Many times, this doesn't go as well as one would hope. This is actually very good news! It is highlighting the areas that need more work. Playing for others is not the time to be surprised. And that extra practice will make you more secure and confident. That means you will get less nervous. It is an upward spiral.

Happy practicing!

[Don W]

Originally Posted by Todd Tipton

I haven't had a chance to read all of the replies; my apologies if I am repeating any information.

A performance situation can be daunting. For most of us, it can be a very humbling experience where we realize that we don't know the music as well as we thought we did. Our minds edit out the worst of our playing, and we tend to remember the best of our playing.

A performance situation is simply ANYTIME we are concerned about our playing. In front of hundreds, in a living room with 10 people, playing for a friend, or just simply knowing someone else is in the house while you are practicing. To play music well, every single detail has to be practiced and made into habit. Reducing or eliminating this concern is no different. It isn't something we just do without lots of practice. I highly recommend an old read called THE INNER GAME OF TENNIS by Timothy Gallway. (There was an INNER GAME OF MUSIC followup but I don't recommend it; the tennis book is better).

Performance is something that also has to be practiced. Always. Part of the routine. Once New Repertoire is learned, it falls into the Old Repertoire. This is the music we have to play for others. That music needs to be regularly "performed" in a safe space so that you can begin replacing habits of concern with focus on how you want the music to sound.

I tell all of my students that there are two types of errors: Major errors and minor errors. Major errors are any types of errors that cause you to hesitate. Minor errors are any errors that are a less than flawless performance, but cause no hesitation. If you make major errors, then the piece needs to return to new repertoire and more practice is needed. This is actually more common that one might realize. It reality, a piece may go back and forth from one category to the other several times before truly settling in the old repertoire category. This is great and is all part of the process of better learning the music.

In short, you need practice performances. You need to pretend to perform these pieces regularly so that you may begin practicing dealing with minor errors. Minor errors are to be ignored and that takes practice! Lots of practice! You can simply imagine that you are walking out on stage, or into the living room, or where ever your imaginary performance takes place. You tell yourself, "this one counts." You then simply pretend to perform, covering up and ignoring the minor errors. To add a bit of dramas, you can turn your chair another direction, you can play in another room, or you can even record yourself with audio or video.

Many times, this doesn't go as well as one would hope. This is actually very good news! It is highlighting the areas that need more work. Playing for others is not the time to be surprised. And that extra practice will make you more secure and confident. That means you will get less nervous. It is an upward spiral.

Happy practicing!

Loved that...awesome advice. Particularly the minor and major mistakes. I admire solo players who can make a mistake and just keep on going...for me, most of the time its kind of a "train wreck" (major mistake). I used to think that learning a new fingerstyle solo piece took a month or two but have come to realize it takes much much longer to learn well and to practice correctly (lots of practice). There are songs that I have been playing for a year that I am still not confident with. I have had difficulty playing even in front of friends but what great practice for performance! I don't plan to ever do anything more than an open mic but really want to play well when I play for friends. I have been in many groups during my life. Solo guitar is completely different...especially finger style / classical. I have read a book called "The Musicians Way" which gives great suggestions for good practicing techniques as well as all other aspects of making and performing music. I look forward to my daily practice sessions. Developing confidence in my playing is a slow road but so rewarding. My guitar teacher keeps reminding me that "you are in good company". Thanks for your post.

[Wrighty]

Originally Posted by Todd Tipton

I haven't had a chance to read all of the replies; my apologies if I am repeating any information.



A performance situation can be daunting. For most of us, it can be a very humbling experience where we realize that we don't know the music as well as we thought we did. Our minds edit out the worst of our playing, and we tend to remember the best of our playing.



A performance situation is simply ANYTIME we are concerned about our playing. In front of hundreds, in a living room with 10 people, playing for a friend, or just simply knowing someone else is in the house while you are practicing. To play music well, every single detail has to be practiced and made into habit. Reducing or eliminating this concern is no different. It isn't something we just do without lots of practice. I highly recommend an old read called THE INNER GAME OF TENNIS by Timothy Gallway. (There was an INNER GAME OF MUSIC followup but I don't recommend it; the tennis book is better).



Performance is something that also has to be practiced. Always. Part of the routine. Once New Repertoire is learned, it falls into the Old Repertoire. This is the music we have to play for others. That music needs to be regularly "performed" in a safe space so that you can begin replacing habits of concern with focus on how you want the music to sound.



I tell all of my students that there are two types of errors: Major errors and minor errors. Major errors are any types of errors that cause you to hesitate. Minor errors are any errors that are a less than flawless performance, but cause no hesitation. If you make major errors, then the piece needs to return to new repertoire and more practice is needed. This is actually more common that one might realize. It reality, a piece may go back and forth from one category to the other several times before truly settling in the old repertoire category. This is great and is all part of the process of better learning the music.



In short, you need practice performances. You need to pretend to perform these pieces regularly so that you may begin practicing dealing with minor errors. Minor errors are to be ignored and that takes practice! Lots of practice! You can simply imagine that you are walking out on stage, or into the living room, or where ever your imaginary performance takes place. You tell yourself, "this one counts." You then simply pretend to perform, covering up and ignoring the minor errors. To add a bit of dramas, you can turn your chair another direction, you can play in another room, or you can even record yourself with audio or video.



Many times, this doesn't go as well as one would hope. This is actually very good news! It is highlighting the areas that need more work. Playing for others is not the time to be surprised. And that extra practice will make you more secure and confident. That means you will get less nervous. It is an upward spiral.



Happy practicing!

Thanks Todd - great advice..

[Guitars+gems]

Originally Posted by Wrighty

Even the thought of playing in front of a third party is enough to start me off.


Peter

Peter,
I have no desire to play in front of an audience, but I do have to play for my teacher. He's kind and says that he knows that all of his students play better when they're alone than they do in front of him, but still, I'd get frustrated that something I played well at home would be fraught with mistakes in front of him. One day at home I imagined him sitting in front of me. As soon as I did, I started messing up, just as I do in person! I kept practicing, imagining him there, and after awhile, I got better in front of the imaginary teacher as well as the real one!
So now that's what I do and it's made a difference.

So maybe you could try imagining an audience.

[reeve21]

Originally Posted by Don W

Loved that...awesome advice. Particularly the minor and major mistakes. I admire solo players who can make a mistake and just keep on going...for me, most of the time its kind of a "train wreck" (major mistake). I used to think that learning a new fingerstyle solo piece took a month or two but have come to realize it takes much much longer to learn well and to practice correctly (lots of practice). There are songs that I have been playing for a year that I am still not confident with.

So true. I've got many pieces that I can "almost" play, meaning I can't quite play them cleanly all the way through. One or 2 or 3 mistakes seem to creep in most of the time. I recently started playing through those mistakes (even the train wrecks) rather than start over, and I think I have started to fear them less, knowing that there is a way to keep going. Less fear means better performance.

[reeve21]

Originally Posted by Guitars+gems

Peter,
I have no desire to play in front of an audience, but I do have to play for my teacher. He's kind and says that he knows that all of his students play better when they're alone than they do in front of him, but still, I'd get frustrated that something I played well at home would be fraught with mistakes in front of him. One day at home I imagined him sitting in front of me. As soon as I did, I started messing up, just as I do in person! I kept practicing, imagining him there, and after awhile, I got better in front of the imaginary teacher as well as the real one!
So now that's what I do and it's made a difference.

So maybe you could try imagining an audience.

Denise,

Thanks very much for this tip! I can't wait to try it. My big problem playing in front of my teacher is speeding up on intricate passages. I think this may help (that and counting out loud!).

The more I play the more I have begun to understand that the physical side is only the tip of the iceberg, the real key to better guitar playing is between our ears

Thanks again!

[Wrighty]

Originally Posted by Guitars+gems

Peter,

I have no desire to play in front of an audience, but I do have to play for my teacher. He's kind and says that he knows that all of his students play better when they're alone than they do in front of him, but still, I'd get frustrated that something I played well at home would be fraught with mistakes in front of him. One day at home I imagined him sitting in front of me. As soon as I did, I started messing up, just as I do in person! I kept practicing, imagining him there, and after awhile, I got better in front of the imaginary teacher as well as the real one!

So now that's what I do and it's made a difference.



So maybe you could try imagining an audience.

Good idea - will try this tomorrow!

Thanks..

[Guitars+gems]

Bob and Peter,

Sheesh! I gave some advice that 2 peopled liked?
I hope you guys will let me know if it worked for you. Good luck!

[reeve21]

Originally Posted by Guitars+gems

Bob and Peter,

Sheesh! I gave some advice that 2 peopled liked?
I hope you guys will let me know if it worked for you. Good luck!

I tried it last night at home and it certainly didn't hurt! I'll let you know after my next lesson

[Captain Jim]

I played my first gig with a band at age 12 (in 1965). It went well and I have been comfortable playing in front of an audience since that time. I still get the "stomach flutters" right before going on, but I take that as excitement rather than nerves.

I've seen some advice here to ignore the audience... that doesn't work for me; I get positive energy from the audience and appreciate the feedback. In their eyes and on their faces. And, hopefully, from their applause.

Unless you ignore them or are belligerent towards them (yes, I've seen that), they are on your side... really, they want you to do good. I interact with those I am playing for.

When first starting to play for others, play simple stuff you have down. You don't need to impress them with your "fancy playing" as much as establishing a rapport. As you gain confidence and experience in front of others, work in the more difficult material. Don't play something that you "kind of know," until you are comfortable with making a blooper in front of people. Yes, you can get comfortable with that... I have said, "I try to put one little goof in each song to make sure y'all are listening. If you play it perfect even once, people expect that all the time - who needs that kind of pressure?" It gets a chuckle.

One last bit of advice: no one actually dies of embarrassment. Have fun with the process as you learn to get more comfortable in public. I have had many people, even those who are close to me, say, "I could never do that." (Play, sing, or speak in public) It is a very real fear, and it isn't for everyone.

If the nerves are too much, you can always say, "Not for me." If it is something you can learn to enjoy, it is a rewarding experience.

[Wrighty]

Originally Posted by Captain Jim

I played my first gig with a band at age 12 (in 1965). It went well and I have been comfortable playing in front of an audience since that time. I still get the "stomach flutters" right before going on, but I take that as excitement rather than nerves.



I've seen some advice here to ignore the audience... that doesn't work for me; I get positive energy from the audience and appreciate the feedback. In their eyes and on their faces. And, hopefully, from their applause.



Unless you ignore them or are belligerent towards them (yes, I've seen that), they are on your side... really, they want you to do good. I interact with those I am playing for.



When first starting to play for others, play simple stuff you have down. You don't need to impress them with your "fancy playing" as much as establishing a rapport. As you gain confidence and experience in front of others, work in the more difficult material. Don't play something that you "kind of know," until you are comfortable with making a blooper in front of people. Yes, you can get comfortable with that... I have said, "I try to put one little goof in each song to make sure y'all are listening. If you play it perfect even once, people expect that all the time - who needs that kind of pressure?" It gets a chuckle.



One last bit of advice: no one actually dies of embarrassment. Have fun with the process as you learn to get more comfortable in public. I have had many people, even those who are close to me, say, "I could never do that." (Play, sing, or speak in public) It is a very real fear, and it isn't for everyone.



If the nerves are too much, you can always say, "Not for me." If it is something you can learn to enjoy, it is a rewarding experience.

Thanks Jim...

[Daniel Grenier]

A few things that might help (most of which I have successfully tried).

• Accompany a singer - sit in the background and let him/her get the attention.
• Play in a band - again letting the more "outgoing" ones get the attention.
• Play open mics in a pub - no one really cares and few actually listen anyway.
• Play in a church concert - they are a very forgiving lot.
• Join a group jam - you can often play your stuff without being centered.
• There are pills for that - seriously. Beta blockers (not tranquilizers) might help.

In any case, best of luck and remember that John Lennon vomited before every single concert/show he ever gave (not sure if that is actually true but it sounds like an uplifting bit of encouragement in its own revolting way:-))

[Mr. Jelly]

Are you dead yet?


See you were wrong.