Performance nerves killing me!

[Wrighty]

I seem to be really struggling with my nerves when playing in front of anybody - even my family! Mostly it is fingerpicking pieces with no singing but a degree of accuracy required and all the focus on the guitar

I can know a piece fairly well (maybe not well enough) and then something clicks as I start to wind up to play it in front of anyone - heart rate increases and hands start to shake and then you know the story from here - mess it up and confidence dives lower still. It seems to be mostly a physical issue with my hands not doing what I want - but it’s also mental in that I am not in the music at all but somewhere else remote from it. Even the thought of playing in front of a third party is enough to start me off.

I sometimes wonder if I really know a piece well “enough” and that if I had played it and practiced it more might I be able to handle the nerves by playing on autopilot?

I am experimenting with that by working on the water is wide right now and practicing it more often than any other piece I have learned (it must be driving my family nuts)

I cannot get in front of people to play very often (even family are not that interested or available)

For those of you that have experienced this and got through it - what helped you the most?

I am really committed to being able to perform well in front of others.

Thanks in advance

Peter

[Looburst]

Peter, it sounds like you haven't quite gotten to where you need to be yet. We have all been there with the nerves. I say this because my problems were not unlike you own. I used to think, back in the 1980s, I was ready to perform something in front of someone and before I knew it, my hands started to shake and I couldn't control them. Next was mistake after mistake. Mistakes are something every player, whether total pro or novice experience. The question is can or will you rise above it? You can, it'll take some time, everyone is different, so no way to know how long it will take. But I would encourage you to keep at it, it does take some time, like every other hurdle in the guitar journey. There are no obvious things to say that will ward off these nerve issues, but confidence alone will come from practice the song over and over again. Might take you 500 times of playing it before you get there.
Good luck!
Perry

[Kerbie]

I had the benefit of performing a lot when I was a kid, but I haven't done it much as an adult. Why don't you try recording yourself in private? Sorta simulating the public performance when you're actually the only one listening. And then maybe performing in front of one person whom you trust before you add to the audience. I'd do it little by little.

Hope something works for you... good luck.

[Wrighty]

Originally Posted by Looburst

Peter, it sounds like you haven't quite gotten to where you need to be yet. We have all been there with the nerves. I say this because my problems were not unlike you own. I used to think, back in the 1980s, I was ready to perform something in front of someone and before I knew it, my hands started to shake and I couldn't control them. Next was mistake after mistake. Mistakes are something every player, whether total pro or novice experience. The question is can or will you rise above it? You can, it'll take some time, everyone is different, so no way to know how long it will take. But I would encourage you to keep at it, it does take some time, like every other hurdle in the guitar journey. There are no obvious things to say that will ward off these nerve issues, but confidence alone will come from practice the song over and over again. Might take you 500 times of playing it before you get there.
Good luck!
Perry

Thanks Perry - I will crack it...

[Wrighty]

Originally Posted by Kerbie

I had the benefit of performing a lot when I was a kid, but I haven't done it much as an adult. Why don't you try recording yourself in private? Sorta simulating the public performance when you're actually the only one listening. And then maybe performing in front of one person whom you trust before you add to the audience. I'd do it little by little.

Hope something works for you... good luck.

Thanks - I have started to record, and you’re right in that it does make me nervous too so will continue with that.

[Pitar]

Then again, perhaps you are not an entertainer. Nothing wrong with that. The stigma that seems to posses all who do and don't play an instrument is the unspoken obligation that the musician must be an entertainer as well. I don't follow the logic of that but there it is. It seems the recreational aspect of the undertaking is in a far distant 2nd place to entertainer. Personally, I do not seek an audience though I have entertained them. I prefer the recreational aspect of playing over any of that. My ego isn't that needy. But, many who do reach a certain level of play want to show what they've got and that's normal. It usually entices them long before they should attempt it, though. One should be remarkably in control of his skills and repertoire to best present the music he's playing to an audience. They deserve that much from him and no less.

[Ed-in-Ohio]

Hi Peter.

Playing in front of a "captive" audience (even friends and family) can be one of the most challenging for causing performance anxiety. Look for open mics and other, very casual situations where our playing will be more "background noise" than featured performance. Getting adept in these more casual situations will go a long way to eliminating (or at least hedging) your anxiety at performing.

Also, try to play with others whenever and wherever you can.

[David Rock]

Peter:

I hear you on this one! I have been playing 20 years -- sometimes better than others. I have been writing my own fingerstyle pieces for about 15 of those years -- some better than others.

I believe my writing has gotten better, but recently I posted something about 'melody or rhythm' (in this play section). I got some very good feed back from the AGFrs regarding a couple of songs I posted there. Bear with me on this longish story, there is a point.

It seems through the years that although I had written (or learned) some good stuff, I believe I might have been 'playing for myself'. I took the comments about the song I had on soundcloud called After The Wind to heart.

I pulled my notes for this song out and set to work to get to the root of it. That is I really worked on it by taking tab for phrases and turning into staff (with notes) and tab. What this did for me is force me to [I]focus[I] on the mechanics of the song so I could put the pieces together more gracefully. Once I forced that...pieces together as one, my mind gained a new clarity. I think that clarity is what made it 'come together' for me.

I did a new single take of After the Wind. That is, I just plugged in and did it more or less without 'thinking'. I posted it recently as 'What Happens After The Wind' in the play section.

That clarity seemed to make all the difference in the world.

It is not perfect (there are no edits of any kind), but I believe it significantly better than what I had posted previously. I get 'red light fever' just like every body else so that is why I am addressing your OP. The Pros out there will tell you everybody gets it. The Pros though, have each developed their own method to overcome and there is no single answer.

I agree that not everyone is destined to 'share' their efforts, but if you have the desire to, I hope you find a means to do so, that is find a way to share your joy with others. I believe every artist would like to share their efforts in some manner.

Sorry for the long post here, but I am all in on this one and look forward (as always) to the responses.

Regards to all
David

[tonyo]

I play only fingerstyle and went through the same problem with nerves. Didn't have it initially as I was playing a very simple pattern but once I started the more complicated travis picking style of playing, the nerves hit and they hit hard.

I'd get a few bars into the song or halfway through the first verse and then I'd pick a wrong note and the elevated heartbeat and sweats went from bad to worse.

What I did to get around it was to always start with one of my easier songs with an easier / slower fingerstyle. Once I'd get through that ok my nerves would settle. For me the problem wasn't playing in front of family, more on the open mic stage. Every time I do another open mic it helps and settles my nerves.

Hang in there. It's worth working through it.

[Don W]

I have the same problem. I have recorded 5 songs for a CD and felt like I was going to have a heart attack each time. My instructor has been very helpful. He is a performing and recording artist and has been performing most of his life. He says "you are in good company"..."most performers have this issue at some point". I saw him on stage once with a well now fingerstyle player and loved the music and how confident he was. Later my instructor told me that the well know guitarist threw up prior to his performance from nerves...we are not alone. Be well rehearsed, focus on good breathing. Don't be fearful of a mistake. I have gotten some good advice from a guy on line named Noa Kageyama PHD who specializes in performance anxiety at Julliard and has some excellent free on line stuff. I have just recorded Ed Gerhards version of Water is Wide...my favorite. Recording is a little easier as you can cut and splice from multiple takes. I still have some difficulty performing that for friends and company but no problem if I just tell everyone that I'm simply providing some background music for them. Its all about focusing on the music instead of who is listening to avoid that death spiral into the shakes and the train wreck that can follow.

[Julian Mount]

Hi there!
I offer the following, from my own experience, which I hope you might find helpful.

First of all, you are NOT alone. We have ALL been there!

My own "gigantic leap forward" came when I examined just WHAT it was that was scaring me. I decided that I was frightened of the audience yelling out "You're rubbish!"

This, clearly, was absurd. I get up on stage, I sing my own songs. I believe in them.

I began to have a higher regard for my own abilities and my music. I decided that, even if the audience don't like me and my music....this is STILL me and my music. I exist. This is what I do. This is how I do it. If you don't like it, that's fine....but this is still me!

Suddenly, I found I had more self-confidence. This (positively) affected my performance AND my delivery.

It didn't happen overnight. But, little by little, things got better.

Even with new songs, I offer them to my audience. Like them or lump them....but this is me. This is my music. This is how I do it.

I hope you find your groove and your self-regard and I wish you the very best of luck and good fortune in the future.

Go for it!

[jseth]

I'm 66 years... been playing in front of people since I was 8. I still get nervous feelings whenever I play in front of people, sometimes more than others.

Funny thing is? I decided when I was a teenager that music was going to be my path in life, that being the best singer/songwriter/guitarist that I could be was what I would devote my life towards being...

I don't think some nerves are a big deal, but when they stop you from playing well, or distract you from same... then that's something to be dealt with...

For me, a couple of things worked wonders... one is basically TRUSTING my self, my abilities and talent to do a great job... another was to learn to FOCUS solely on the music, the song; what it means, why I want to play/sing it for people, what I want to deliver in my version.

Possibly the biggest hurdle to overcome was digging deep enough into myself to remember my very first "performance" in front of people, some friends and mostly strangers.

I had just begun to play guitar and had taught myself the melody to "Tom Dooley", a very popular folk song of the late 50's. I only knew how to play it on the lower bass strings, very rudimentary... but I could play it.

My Cub Scout pack was a part of this huge gathering of packs called a Jamboree; my "den" decided to do a skit of some sort, and, as a part of the skit, I was to play "Tom Dooley". When it came time to go, I was a bit nervous, certainly, but not paralyzed.

I played that song, and at the very end of the melody, I hit a CLAM, one bad note... I was mortified... and all I could remember about the incident was that everyone laughed at me, at my mistake. Through a whole lot of digging and searching, I came to realize that, everytime I played for folks, I was trying NOT TO MAKE THAT ONE MISTAKE!!!

So, of course I could never really play as well as I had in practise, as my focus during performance was one of "DON'T mess it up", as opposed to focusing on the song and what I wanted to bring with it...

These days I still play out, although infrequently... and I love doing it, but the main thing that keeps me going out and playing is the music; all those songs that I love, some that I wrote... and THE SONGS deserve to be heard and enjoyed and felt by people. Without that sort of focus, it wouldn't be worth the angst and hassle...

By the way, there is a HUGE difference between a PERFORMER and an ENTERTAINER, in my opinion...

Hope this gives you something to go on...

[Wrighty]

Thanks all - so many thoughtful and helpful responses. It’s re-assuring to know I am not alone with this.

For me it’s not about the entertaining as much as being able to deliver of my best with other’s listening. I put a lot of effort into learning and playing well and I love my guitars with a passion, so I want to be able to deliver something meaningful to others.

I need to build some confidence in myself and my abilities but need to make sure I know the pieces well enough to maximise my chances.

Thanks again all..

[animal eater]

The thing about being human is we ALL make mistakes. I have been performing for almost 30 years and still have a moment. I saw Paul McCartney last week and was blown away by him. I couldn't believe I was watching a 75 year old and guess what....he makes mistakes too.

The one thing that many performers lose sight of and you must never lose sight of the fact that the audience wants to like you and pull for you. They are more interested in what you are offering of yourself and less of how perfect you may or may not be technically.

[love the guitar]

It's ok to make mistakes. Everyone does! Carole King was terrified to perform
when she was young until James Taylor told her to just play the song...the song
will carry the performance. So..pick good songs, eh?