What is the worst joke you have ever heard?

[Big_Al]

Q: What did the fish say when he swam into a concrete wall.

A: "Dam!"

[EighthAveLocal]

What did the lamp say when it got turned on?

Nothing. It's a lamp.

[Glennwillow]

The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

- Glenn

[BobbyBadd]

I went to the big game last week, I finally figured out why its so windy in the stadium. There's a Fan in every seat.

[Willy D]

Originally Posted by D. Shelton

That just plain sucks; I don't even get it. Worst joke I ever heard

Pardon me boy is that the Chattanooga Choo Choo

[Willy D]

What's the cheapest part of a deer???

The testicles - they're under a buck

[hardydog]

I'm going to sell my vacuum cleaner.... it's only collecting dust....

[hardydog]

Customer unhappy with his chinese meal. Asks waiter can you call the chef out here.
Says to the chef ' This chicken is rubbery'...... chef 'Ah Fank you velly much'

[Gasworker]

This story happened a while ago in Dublin , and even though it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it's true.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
John Bradford, a Dublin University student, was on the side of the road hitch hiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a big storm.
The night was rolling on and no car went by. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him.

Suddenly, he saw a car slowly coming towards him and stopped.
John, desperate for shelter and without thinking about it, got into the car and closed the door
only to realise there was nobody behind the wheel and the engine wasn't on. The car started moving slowly. John looked at the road ahead and saw a curve approaching. Scared, he started to pray, begging for his life. Then, just before the car hit the curve, a hand appeared out of nowhere through the window, and turned the wheel. John, paralysed with terror, watched as the hand came through the window, but never touched or harmed him.
Shortly thereafter, John saw the lights of a pub appear down the road, so, gathering strength; he jumped out of the car and ran to it..
Wet and out of breath, he rushed inside and started telling everybody about the horrible experience he had just had.
A silence enveloped the pub when everybody realised he was crying... And wasn't drunk.
Suddenly, the door opened, and two other people walked in from the dark and stormy night. They, like John, were also soaked and out of breath. Looking around, and seeing John Bradford sobbing at the bar, one said to the other....

Look Paddy....there's that idiot who got in the car while we were pushing it
................

[LouieAtienza]

Hear about the new pirate movie?



It's rated Aaarrrrrrrrrrrrgggghhhh!

[callouses]

Originally Posted by LouieAtienza

Hear about the new pirate movie?



It's rated Aaarrrrrrrrrrrrgggghhhh!

Grooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnn!!!lol...

[random works]

A man's childhood friend finally gets to see him. The man's friend remarks on how nice a place the man has. An old pig follows them around and the man acts like the pig is his dog.

The friend asks what's the story with the pig. The man stops and proceeds to recount a number of amazing things the pig has done for the family. It jumped in a pond and rescued his son who was about to drown. It attacked a would be robber; and just last year, it dragged the blanket off the sleeping man and his wife, awakening them. The man smelled smoke and was able to run downstairs and put out a small kitchen fire.

The friend was astounded, then remarked the pig only had three legs. The man said, "Oh, a pig that good you don't eat all at once."

[heni30]

The guy takes his blonde date to the carnival. He asks her what she'd like to do. "I want to get weighed." she replies. So he takes her to the scale/fortune machine, puts a quarter in;

Looks like it's about 120 lbs - sounds about right, he says. They walk around and he asks "Now what do you wanna do." "I want to get weighed."
So he takes her over there again " Yep, it's still 120." This happens a couple of more times and finally he takes her home.

As the blonde walks in, her roommate asks "How did your date go" "Wousy" she replies.

[SongwriterFan]

A photon gets pulled over by the police. The officer says "Did you know you were going 130,000 km/s?"

The photon replies: "Great, now I'm lost!"

[bmc]

Q: How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

A: Put it in the oven until it's bill whithers.