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  #31  
Old 07-21-2016, 05:16 AM
sled sled is offline
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Dude, if it's not on video it didn't happen.......
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  #32  
Old 07-21-2016, 06:51 AM
mc1 mc1 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ewalling View Post
I think it's an excellent opening post. It challenges us to think about whether "the truth" is always the best policy.
"the truth" is complex, dynamic, overrated and not as black and white as oft opined.
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  #33  
Old 07-21-2016, 07:37 AM
zabdart zabdart is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cotten View Post
Wonder if the violating of your marriage vows had anything to do with it.
Yeah, this is it, exactly. If you can't accept the consequences of your actions you should have some reservations about doing them in the first place, not being truthful about them afterwards.
"I can resist anything but temptation" is one of Oscar Wilde's funnier maxims, but it's not a way to live. This whole story smacks of blaming your weakness on your wife, and I don't accept that.
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  #34  
Old 07-21-2016, 07:40 AM
guitarjamman guitarjamman is offline
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*deleted as non-useful

Last edited by guitarjamman; 07-26-2016 at 05:37 AM.
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  #35  
Old 07-21-2016, 07:49 AM
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Truth or Consequences? Sometimes you get both for the price of one.
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  #36  
Old 07-21-2016, 07:59 AM
H2O H2O is offline
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I value honesty over just about everything. I have no desire to associate with individuals who have difficulty telling the truth.

I think you made the right choice in coming clean OP, even though there were some negative results. All anyone can do is learn from their experiences and keep moving forward.
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  #37  
Old 07-21-2016, 08:00 AM
mc1 mc1 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by guitarjamman View Post
The truth is very black and white. A binary statement that is either what happened or not what happened. The emotional side of what lies behind the truth and whether it is appropriate to tell is where some shades of grey enter the picture.
...
that is your opinion! and you are entitled to it.

seriously, i get your point, but tend to disagree. if i use your definition of truth, then people can rarely know much of what the truth is. most people's "truths" are opinions created out of a mix of observation, reason, trust, belief, anecdotal evidence, faulty memory, emotion, pride, and lots of other things.

it's important to separate out the objective "black and white" truth from people's greyer subjective truth. the objective truth can more often than not be unverifiable, such as in this case.

i was speaking generally about the nature of knowledge and what can be known, and the subjective side of truth, which is relevant to this thread.

eyewitnesses have occasionally been shown to be wrong to varying degrees. but to them, what they observed had every appearance of the objective truth. however, given that they can be mistaken, their heartfelt subjective truth can often be at odds with the objective truth.

is the sky blue?
does the sun rise every day?
did columbus discover america?

while i'd answer a soft "no" to each of them, i might have been taught them in school as facts.

once you start getting in to complex "truths" such as in whatever was behind, "i told my wife the truth", you're really getting more into a elaborate confession then a verifiable science experiment. and in such a conversation, "what the truth is" may not apply (because you are discussing such things as emotion or motivation for behavior), and things quickly become grey in a number of ways (for example, does the term "Truth" even apply here?).
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  #38  
Old 07-21-2016, 08:01 AM
amyFB amyFB is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ageoftrilogy View Post
Summer, 1998.
Got a good wife- college sweetheart- and two great little kids.
Had to work in San Mateo over the summer- construction- and that's where I met Molly.
I 'met' Molly over 80 times that summer. Summer of '98 in San Mateo.
Next thing I know when I get back home is a bunch of questions thrown at me by my wife. Eventually I had to tell her the truth. The darn truth.
After the divorce I had to move to a shack on the edge of town. She takes 80% of my pay for her and the kids.
Telling the truth is always the wrong thing to do.
This is a joke, right?

Are we supposed to believe that you expected your wife to accept your choice to dishonor your wedding vows?

Unless you left out that your marriage was 'open', then I don't know why you think any sympathy is due to you.

Would you feel it appropriate for your wife to take an intimate friend in substitute for you?
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  #39  
Old 07-21-2016, 08:24 AM
ewalling ewalling is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by guitarjamman View Post
The truth is very black and white. A binary statement that is either what happened or not what happened. The emotional side of what lies behind the truth and whether it is appropriate to tell is where some shades of grey enter the picture.

The truth is the OP cheated on his wife. An action that has no different sides of the story regardless of who is telling it in whatever mental state they are in. The 'why' of the act is where stories start changing and haziness enters the picture....
I think you may have contradicted yourself here. You say the truth is "black and white", and what happened or did not happen. You then, however, proceed to label the OP's action with a 'shade of grey' 'emotional' interpretation: he "cheated". "Cheat" is a powerful 'snarl' word. It fixes whatever was done as dirty, underhand, mean, low, execrable. We "cheat" in a an exam when we seek to gain an advantage to which we're not entitled; we "cheat" in a game where we want to win without having the requisite talent and usurp the rightful winner's place. When I was at grammar school, the deputy headmaster once articulated "cheating" as the worst crime we could commit. He could forgive any kind of boy, he once said, except a liar and a cheat. "Cheating" is uber-nasty. It don't come much worse than cheating.

But what happened here was that the OP had sex with another woman. That's the stripped down (!) event. That's the fact. "Cheating" is an emotional, value-ridden judgement that we may choose or not choose to apply to that event.

P.S. I typed this before reading mc1's reply. I agree with him on this.

Last edited by ewalling; 07-21-2016 at 08:29 AM.
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  #40  
Old 07-21-2016, 08:32 AM
ewalling ewalling is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by amyFB View Post
Are we supposed to believe that you expected your wife to accept your choice to dishonor your wedding vows?
My understanding was that he wasn't seeking approval or disapproval, merely questioning the value of always opening up about who we are and/or what we've done.
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  #41  
Old 07-21-2016, 08:53 AM
mc1 mc1 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ewalling View Post
... "Cheat" is a powerful 'snarl' word. It fixes whatever was done as dirty, underhand, mean, low, execrable.
"cheating?!? cheating!?! no, i wasn't cheating. if anything, i was verifying. verifying my feelings. verifying our relationship. while you sitting home, i was out doing all the grunt work. so don't lecture me on who values this relationship and what the truth is."

(the statements and opinions represented in this post are fictitious and not to be taken as advice)
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  #42  
Old 07-21-2016, 09:46 AM
Dirk Hofman Dirk Hofman is offline
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I was betting "Molly" was going to turn out to be a labradoodle.

I'm somewhat loathe to spoil the fun, but after you're all finished piling on in outrage, maybe have a look at our friend's posting record. Some top-notch stuff, including the best classified ever.

Last edited by Dirk Hofman; 07-21-2016 at 11:09 AM. Reason: Grammer/iPhone posting problems.
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  #43  
Old 07-21-2016, 09:49 AM
Long Jon Long Jon is offline
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Seriously fellahs, have a look at the OP's shot at redemption here. You'll be glad you did.
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  #44  
Old 07-21-2016, 09:50 AM
dirkronk dirkronk is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by amyFB View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by ageoftrilogy View Post
Summer, 1998.
Got a good wife- college sweetheart- and two great little kids.
Had to work in San Mateo over the summer- construction- and that's where I met Molly.
I 'met' Molly over 80 times that summer. Summer of '98 in San Mateo.
Next thing I know when I get back home is a bunch of questions thrown at me by my wife. Eventually I had to tell her the truth. The darn truth.
After the divorce I had to move to a shack on the edge of town. She takes 80% of my pay for her and the kids.
Telling the truth is always the wrong thing to do.



This is a joke, right?
I don't think so, Amy. I think it's a country-western song still being constructed. Look at the cadence and repetition: Summer 1998 <snip> San Mateo over the summer <snip> I 'met' Molly over 80 times that summer. Summer of '98 in San Mateo.
This is a wannabe poet's conceit. So is the double entendre of "met": ...that's where I met Molly. I 'met' Molly over 80 times...
Repetition again with "truth": Eventually I had to tell her the truth. The darn truth.
And the final kicker, phrased to generate outrage, largely because it's an inversion of traditional teaching: Telling the truth is always the RIGHT thing to do.


Nope. The OP may or may not be telling a genuine tale of his own experience. Quite possibly is. But he's working on ways of telling it that smack of a songwriter's style and structure. Maybe he means it as a troll. Maybe he's just seeing how folks respond before he crafts the song further. As a writer myself for the past 40 years, that's what I see when I read it.

But maybe I'm wrong.

Dirk
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  #45  
Old 07-21-2016, 09:53 AM
ewalling ewalling is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dirk Hofman View Post
I was betting "Molly" was going to turn out to be a labradoodle.

Im loathe to spoil the fun, hen you're all done piling on in outrage, maybe have a look at our friend's posting record. Some top-notch stuff, including the best classified ever.
Whatever he meant, the thread no longer belongs to him - it's taken on a life of its own!
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