What does it mean to "Be Nice"?

[Long Jon]

Originally Posted by jpd

"
"I think we all know what's nice and what ain't, but that stuff said for brevity, or humour, can read badly. Especially to those who are looking for trouble."






Best, concise, insightful answer to the question! And from an Englishman...............

Don't patronise me.



(joke, to be absolutely clear)

[HHP]

Originally Posted by perttime

What about inserting your opinion when none is asked for? (I'm not referring to your post)

... Or when the original poster even suggests in the original posts that it is best to keep opinions out of the thread?

Isn't this place where people express their opinions? To a lot of people, pointing out where they might be wrong is, to them, "not nice"

[ewalling]

Originally Posted by michaelnel

One thing that works well is to act as if you were talking face to face (and both of you are packin') instead of being insulated by the anonymous nature of the internet.

Unfortunately, I often fail to remember this.

I've heard this before; however, I think most people are more direct and "brutal" face-to-face than they are online because a potentially offensive message delivered to a physical person is mitigated by facial expression and tone of voice.

[mjz]

Originally Posted by kydave

This is absolutely true, Max. But sometimes, it is what it is, and people seem to have gone out of their way to present themselves as such.

I hear ya, Dave. Perhaps another song is in order.
max

[franchelB]

To me, it's about respect. We can disagree on a topic, but we can disagree with civility. And opinions. Everyone's got 'em, but not everyone is right/wrong. And about pride. Sometimes, you just have to get up, and walk away from a heated discussion.

[Nailpicker]

Originally Posted by GraceGuitars

That is not the issue. There's a difference between people who don't want to hear an opinion opposed to theirs (this is where I agree with you), but we ought to expect even dissenting opinions to be expressed in a polite and dignified manner.

This would fall under "Assuming you now someone's motives" on my list above

Polite and dignified as defined by whom is a real and proper question. A lot of opinions and views here on what is "nice" and "not nice;" what is and is not a "polite and dignified manner?" And who is going to assign, be the arbiter of another person's motives, rightly or wrongly? Assuming one's motives in and of itself can lead to dissension, distrust and anger. Assumptions cause wars, divorce, disharmony between friends.

Often times when a dissenting opinion is expressed it is automatically viewed as not being polite, after all how could anyone disagree with me?

As Desert Twang said:"To me as German, "being nice" can be quite different from what Americans perceive as "being nice." For example, in my culture, it is perfectly acceptable - desirable, in fact - to articulate our thoughts in a direct way. People who are not familiar with that culture often mistake our directness for "not being nice," when in fact, we don't mean to imply any form of criticism or sarcasm. For us, it's about the product, the issue at hand, not so much about the personality."
My German heritage follows me I guess. But I've also witnessed striking differences in my travels across this country as well.

It is my opinion that these Freshman Philosophy 101 threads can be a thinly disguised attempt to pull out the worst in people while some sit back and chuckle under their breath and watch the fireworks.

I'm not the owner of this board, and certainly not the arbiter, but it seems excessively contentious (and actually downright silly, IMO) to post a thread like this in a guitar forum. Perhaps in the Open Mic section, but not in the acoustic guitar section. What's with that?

Was that polite and dignified, or not?

[Ciarre]

Originally Posted by Long Jon

I have a tendency to make jokey remarks, as I'm pretty ignorant about guitars and playing.
Sometimes stuff that would work face to face is lost in translation on the page.
I try to check that I'm not being too sarcastic or too silly, to some innocent newbie with a sincere question.
Some people do seem to take offence at the least (to my sensibilities) provocation.
There are plenty of others who enjoy a little cut and thrust and cracking wise.
All the fun of the forum !

I think we all know what's nice and what ain't, but that stuff said for brevity, or humour, can read badly. Especially to those who are looking for trouble.

I've read quite a few of your responses and never found any of them offensive or anything other than amusing...except for your serious replies, which have generally been thoughtful.
But I know exactly what you mean, some folks are not willing to see the humor (humour?) in any situation. Bless my all-American auto correct for not wanting to let me type humor with a u in it.
Anyway, as to the OP, I think you already know what's "nice" and what isn't and the real question is why are some people the way they are especially on a faceless isolated and non physical medium as the web. Want to see not nice? Go to any game forum and select any thread with more than four replies. One will certainly fill the bill.
But more importantly, should I list my guitars in my sig or not?

[Long Jon]

Originally Posted by Nailpicker

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,edit,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,

It is my opinion that these Freshman Philosophy 101 threads can be a thinly disguised attempt to pull out the worst in people while some sit back and chuckle under their breath and watch the fireworks.

I'm not the owner of this board, and certainly not the arbiter, but it seems excessively contentious (and actually downright silly, IMO) to post a thread like this in a guitar forum. Perhaps in the Open Mic section, but not in the acoustic guitar section. What's with that?

Was that polite and dignified, or not?

Not really nailpicker, no. Qualifying something sarcastic and belittling with "IMO" doesn't make it "nice". (IMO)

[Glennwillow]

Okay, there were a few complaints about this discussion being in the GENERAL Acoustic Guitar Discussion section rather than being in the OPEN MIC section, so I have moved this discussion to the OPEN MIC section.

Hope this helps a little...

- Glenn

[Nailpicker]

Originally Posted by Long Jon

Not really nailpicker, no. Qualifying something sarcastic and belittling with "IMO" doesn't make it "nice". (IMO)

And you are quite welcome to your opinion Sarcastic and belittling or direct and honest? I wasn't attempting to be "nice.' That's my point....since this entire thread is...well never mind. If I said what I believed to be truthful I'll undoubtedly be viewed as "not nice." See...again..."not nice" or truthful.
We can go on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and....

[Long Jon]

Originally Posted by Glennwillow

Okay, there were a few complaints about this discussion being in the GENERAL Acoustic Guitar Discussion section rather than being in the OPEN MIC section, so I have moved this discussion to the OPEN MIC section.

Hope this helps a little...

- Glenn

Let's take it out to the car park !

[Glennwillow]

Originally Posted by Long Jon

Let's take it out to the car park !

Oh no, Jon! Please NO!!! ...

- Glenn

[HHP]

Originally Posted by Long Jon

Let's take it out to the car park !

That sounds a little sissy. It should be "take it outside" or take it to the "parking lot". You won't intimidate anyone inviting them to go to the automotive repository.

[Long Jon]

Originally Posted by HHP

That sounds a little sissy. It should be "take it outside" or take it to the "parking lot". You won't intimidate anyone inviting them to go to the automotive repository.

Darn. My soppy use of English has betrayed me again.

[fngrpck]

Originally Posted by 00-28

I'm always nice. If someone doesn't see that, that's their problem. For those who need a smilie to see through this, get over it. ....Mike

+1 Nothing wrong with a healthy exchange of opinions especially when asked for.