How many of you turned down offers to play in bands?

[catdaddy]

The only time I turned down an offer was when I was still working full time as a pharmacist and had an offer to join a band for a European tour. Would have loved to do it, but couldn't make it work.

[MrDB]

I still entertain fantasies of being a solo performer. I play well enough to make it work but I'm not a very good singer. I'd also like a duo to play a couple of gigs a month but I haven't run into anyone that would be a good fit. Someone who sings well and plays reasonably well that also has similar musical tastes.

Oh well. Not likely to happen at this point.

[ghostnote]

I have, when I thought the other members were not a fit for me personally. I can adapt to different music than I’m used to - in fact, I kinda like it - but doing that with people I don’t care for would just be a headache-inducing chore.

[abn556]

At the time the offer was made, I was still working 50-60 hours per week managing projects around the world. I could not be out at a bar late on Wednesday, then after work on Fridays and all Saturday night. Wife, kids, career, etc… I was just past that point in my life.

The other thing I didn’t care for was that I showed up with another buddy for what was supposed to be a loose jam session. No big deal. When the guy started throwing out songs and saying “hey let’s run through The Joker or Honky Tonk Woman”, I could tell what was going on. After about two hours of rolling through some “classics station” standards, he pulled me aside and said they really needed a guitar player. He called me later that day and offered, but I had already decided against it. When I was younger I probably would have done it.

[Matthew Sarad]

I just quit a classic rock cover band. They loved my playing with a Brondel Strat into a Tweed Deluxe.
I was given a tablet full of songs and three weeks to learn 3 hours of music: Tom Petty, Creedence, Van Morrison, Hall and Oates, Doobies, Steely Dan, SRV, Journey, Amy Winehouse, George Strait. Dwight Yoakum.
We had no monitors. The bassist used the tablet and kept hitting clams. Set lists kept changing.
We were gigging constantly.
It was just too much and I had to resign.

[Pickcity]

Lots of times. I’ve played and sang with house bands who asked me to join them in some of the biggest honkytonks is the southeast, as the house band singer, and I did not do it. I have no regrets. I have spent many years playing in all those very same places with my own band, guys who I know and love, and we are on the same page, musically. I’ve had a blast in the bands I’ve had, which are surprisingly few. 3 of our 4 members grew up in the same neighborhood, and we have been playing together since we were kids, literally. The other guy, a great friend, played with us since we were in our early 20’s. So 20 years with him as well.

There is no way I am walking out on those guys. I am the band leader and singer..Of course we’ve had some unbelievable times together, but each one of them was and is a rock solid musician. We have played some amazing venues and played with or opened for some of the biggest names in country music. I may not have hit super stardom myself, but it could have been worse. I had a lifetime of memories by the time I was 30…

Each one of us will have our own experiences. As a songwriter first, a singer second, and a guitar player third, my experiences are quite different than many here. I will say this…Usually the singer is the worst musician in the band. That is not always the case, though, and I never felt like I was any lesser of a musician than the other band members.

Love the band or find the band you will love.