Reworked an old song of mine last night. Could use some opinions on a comparison.

g6120 · #1 03-19-2012, 12:32 PM

Last night I decided to rework one of my older songs called "Leavin' Soon" I wrote the first
2 verses in 1978 when I was with my first Love then finished it with a final verse in 1982
after we broke up. I been playing it the exact same way for a lot of years and first recorded it in 1982.
First up is the version I have always played (this one recorded in July 2007):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fyaxnQ7wuUs

Now here is the rework I recorded last night as an experiment on the song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTrZ4K4UF-w

I know the rework needs more work but just wondering if I should spend the time if most like the original version.

Thanks and much appreciation to anyone who does weigh in on these.
I know this is asking a lot and we're all very busy.
Appreciate your time and value your opinions.

Bob1131 · #2 03-19-2012, 05:20 PM

The first one sounds like Neil Young meets America. It has a NY beat and an America sounding progression. The melody and lyrics also have shades of America, IMHO. I like it, but it may be more NY than Gil. The second one sounds more folky and has an organic feel to it. I realize it is an experiment and still a little rough or uncertain, but I like where you are taking it. I think you are finding your own voice and style in these latest offerings and it fits you well! The use of your lower voice and the expression in the new rendition makes it much more powerful than the original. My vote is for you to stay on this track and solidify the new version.

g6120 · #3 03-19-2012, 05:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bob1131

The first one sounds like Neil Young meets America. It has a NY beat and an America sounding progression. The melody and lyrics also have shades of America, IMHO. I like it, but it may be more NY than Gil. The second one sounds more folky and has an organic feel to it. I realize it is an experiment and still a little rough or uncertain, but I like where you are taking it. I think you are finding your own voice and style in these latest offerings and it fits you well! The use of your lower voice and the expression in the new rendition makes it much more powerful than the original. My vote is for you to stay on this track and solidify the new version.

Thank You Bob, I have been becoming much more comfortable with my own voice. I'm doing more songs that way whereas before I was too influenced by Neil Young in my own songs. In fact doing all those Neil covers really resulted in folks making a comparison to Neil Young when they heard my originals and marginalizing what I'm trying to do with my stuff. I'd get comments like "sounds too much like Neil Young so why should we listen when we have the real thing?" Been trying to shake that and go in my own direction. I have found that most folks listen to maybe one original song and if they don't like then they turn away ad never come back to listen again. Fortunately that is not the case amongst the fine folks here!

Smurf · #4 03-19-2012, 06:28 PM

I realize the 2nd one is a "work in progress", but #1 feels more alive to me ATM....the 2nd version takes away some of the energy IMHO.

With that said, they BOTH are better than what I have wrote lately!

g6120 · #5 03-19-2012, 06:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Smurf

I realize the 2nd one is a "work in progress", but #1 feels more alive to me ATM....the 2nd version takes away some of the energy IMHO.

With that said, they BOTH are better than what I have wrote lately!

Thanks! It's rare for me to do works in progress but I felt this new direction needed that. One thing that does bother me about the new one is the transition from strumming to the fingerpicking in the breaks between verses. The tempo isn't quite matching up there.

Ranger1964 · #6 03-20-2012, 04:33 AM

I think that Bob hit the nail on the head with his assessment that number one is N.Y. meets America. I like that version quite well. I really like the first portion of the second version, that one really caught my ear as the picking pattern really suits the melody and the feel of the song. At the 42 second mark the song takes its somewhat darker turn. To my ear, in this portion of the song the picking pattern seems a tad out of place. I sort of wanted the melody from the opening verse to repeat. I know that doesn't fit with how it was written, but I'm wondering if you repeated opening melody and then sort of resolved it with something darker in the last line. I really like version 2 but this version has a tad too much of a conflict in the mood and playing where as the style of the playing in the first one allows for the dramatic differences better. YMMV!

andrewjw · #7 03-20-2012, 10:05 AM

I enjoyed both versions...thought Bob hit the nail on the head with his observation re V1 having a NY/America feel... thought the riff you were playing on that kept the song moving along nicely...looked pretty casual but not too easy!
V2 was far more intimate...emotive vocal and sensitive guitar...seemed you were playing the song just for the one person rather than the whole audience.

V2 for me!

Andrew