Quote:
Originally Posted by Wade Hampton
Maybe someday he'll appreciate it, maybe he won't. As a parent myself, I know that our children don't automatically treasure the things we think they should. I myself might even be guilty of not valuing some of the things my parents thought I should....
But that's pretty common.
Something you might consider is that hanging it in his room where he'll eventually be tall enough to pull it down and use it in any way he likes might not be the best way to preserve the guitar. If I'd had access to a guitar at that age (and probably through to about age ten) it would have served as a toy battleship for my little Lego guys or as a club for whacking my teddy bears around, most likely.
In any event, he's never going to venerate your friend's memory as much as you do for the simple reason that he's too young to have known him very well, if at all.
What my father would have done in the same situation would be to keep the guitar for me and let me use it under adult supervision. My suggestion is that you get a case for it if it doesn't have one, and keep it with your own guitars. Then bring it out when he wants to "play music along with Daddy." When each session ends, tuck it back into its case until the next time.
Seriously, given the emotional resonance this guitar has for you but which your son can't really share at this point, the best thing you can do for all concerned - your son, your sense of respect and reverence for the memory of your friend, and for the guitar itself - the best thing you can do is keep the guitar safe and let him play with it under your supervision.
Hanging it on the wall in his bedroom, while obviously your first impulse, won't preserve it very well. Until he gets significantly older, it'll be just another toy and/or room furnishing to him.
No matter how much you tell him otherwise.
This is something I found out the hard way with nieces and nephews. It took me a while to absorb that lesson, which is why I made that mistake more than once. But kids often don't value what we think they should, and can and do break things that we think they shouldn't.
So at least consider what I've written here. I think he'll actually appreciate it a lot more and value the story behind the guitar if you give him access to it more sparingly.
Your choice, naturally.
Hope that makes sense.
Wade Hampton Miller
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Wade,
Your response is very insightful. I appreciate you sharing your own personal experience and lessons that you have learned. As a father of two young children I openly admit that it's easier to take the advice of people with lessons to share than to learn the hard way! I even shared your thoughts with my wife and she whole heartedly agreed with 100% of what you said.
My friend died just a few weeks after my son was born. He wanted nothing more than to meet him before he passed. For the first few weeks after my son was born he was stuck in the hospital recovering from several surgeries. He cried when I brought a photo of my son to display in his room. I couldn't bring my son because of how young he was. But a higher power gave him the ability to spend a short period of time at home and my son got to meet him briefly before his passing. The Hebrew name we gave my son was in my friends honor.
Anyways, thank you for your thoughts. I'm going to find this special guitar a nice home in a case next to my other guitars. Although I wouldn't mind a few small dings and dents while my son plays around with it, the guitar and my friends memory would be better served with a bit more protection and care than hanging in a 3 year old's room!