[Chicago Sandy]

I hear you. When I was 32, I had just been laid off from my job as an Asst. Atty. Gen. (new A.G. elected, new broom sweeps clean, yada yada). That gave me the time to be a fulltime musician, but the solo gigs were few & far between and the rock band I was in was still "evolving"--the leader was a perfectionist and though we played out twice a week as an acoustic trio, as a 5-pc. electric band he felt we weren't "ready" yet to even seek gigs. And I began to try to have a family then (Mother Nature had other ideas, alas). By the time we debuted (and I'd had a couple more miscarriages) to rave reviews, the lead guitarist and drummer had gotten frustrated and moved out of state. The band broke up and voila--I was finally pregnant. I played solo until the week before Gordy was born, but as soon as he came along, career matters went on the back burner. When he was a toddler, a bunch of neighbors in similar situations and I got together and gigged every week for nearly six years as a top 40-cover-frat party band until families expanded and members moved on to advancement in their day jobs. Music became a source of solace and fun, but strictly for me, my friends and family. I did not resume performing professionally until Gordy was a teenager and I was nearly 50.

What I'm trying to say can be found in Ecclesiastes: to everything there is a season. It is now your season to fulfill your other roles, enjoy your budding family and teaching career, and make music a source of pleasure and not income. But it may not always be so---time and tide may get you back out on stage again years from now as a "new phase" of your life; and by then you may have the financial security and serenity to be able to pour more money into your music than you will reap from it......and it will not matter, so long as it brings you pleasure.

Funny thing about getting "worn out:" time can "refurbish" you. Until then, let music please your soul and your friends and loved ones, and cherish them. Your kids will never be this little again, and this is (or should be) a joyous time of life for you. Enjoy!