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Lastly, I thought that it was verboten to try to push those fees on the buyer. Am I wrong?
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No and Yes. eBay owns PayPal, and it IS verboten to add PayPal fees to an eBay transaction after the fact.
However, PayPal is useful for other transactions, and, as noted above, the seller and buyer can both do exactly what they want. I try to be clear in the ad. In my case, I use a fairly common phrase like "PayPalled and shipped" after my asking price, so the potential buyer knows it's the "grand total out the door no hidden costs, no added fees".
OTOH I can see the seller's position, particularly if he is offering PayPal as an OPTION on a $10,000 item. In that case, I can see a cash/check/wire transaction as the primary offer, with PayPal being the buyer's responsibility if the buyer wants to add benefits only Paypal provides.
As a corollary note, I am fairly amused that some buyers won't touch a $300 all-inclusive "free shipping" eBay auction, but will bid like there's no tomorrow on the same guitar, opening bid $225, shipping $75. Like the Paypal fees, it can be looked at as a buyer-option, not a seller-demand.