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I guess I just have to keep plowing away at this move for a while.
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I would definitely encourage you to do so. I watched the video, and you just need to follow what he instructs. That's how the song is most easily played. Focus on the beginning, when he holds the chord down, and plays the melody (slowly) with the pinky. That's the kind of finger independence you need to develop and it's a good way to do it. You'll see after a while that it's really not that difficult to do.
I like BFD's suggestion to move the capo up a few frets to make it easier at first.
I'm curious about how you do your spider exercises though. I do them as well, and I think they are very useful for that sort of thing. Are you making sure to hold/place finger pairs down before changing positions?