My hands are really small, in fact I've only met one person with smaller hands and fingers than me in my whole life, and I can do the F barre chord without a problem.
I am no expert but beside a lot of practice, it help me to experiment with the positions of index and thumb until I found a confortable position that allow me to put enough pressure without wasting too much energy on them. To practice, I used a very simple song (johnny cash version of "I hung my head" only 3 chords -F Am C-) until I nailed it.
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