...a skeleton walks into a bar...
 

....he says to the bartender...gimme a beer and a mop....

okay...

A bear walks into a bar... sits on a stool and the bartender comes over, asks "What'll you have?" The bear looks up at the ceiling, around the room, hems and haws a bit, then says "Scotch on the rocks"...

The bartender says...


"Why the big pause?"

You asked for it...

A man walks into a bar and orders three beers.

The bartender brings him the three beers, and the man proceeds to alternately sip one, then the other, then the third, until they're gone.

He then orders three more and the bartender says, "Sir, I know you like them cold, so you can start with one, and I'll bring you a fresh one as soon as you're low."

The man says, "You don't understand. I have two brothers, one in Australia and one in the Ireland. We made a vow to each other that every Saturday night, we'd still drink together. So right now, my brothers have three beers, too, and we're drinking together."

The bartender thinks it's a wonderful tradition, and every week he sets up the guy's three beers. Then one week, the man comes in and orders only two. He drinks them and then orders two more. The bartender says sadly, "Knowing your tradition, I'd just like to just say that I'm sorry you've lost a brother."

The man replies, "Oh, my brothers are fine -- I just quit drinking."

An Irishman walks by a bar...Hey! It could happen!

A string goes into a bar and orders a beer. the bartender says "Sorry we don't serve strings here."

So, the string leaves, ties himself into a knot, frays out his ends, and goes back into the bar.

The bartender asks, "Are you a string?"



Wait

For

It......




The string answers, "Nope, frayed knot."

Two nuns walk into a bar.... .... the third one ducks.

A Dyslexic, Agnostic, Insomniac walks into a bar.

The Bartender asks, "Why do you look so tired?'

The Dyslexic, Agnostic, Insomniac answers,:


"I was up all night wondering if there really is a Dog."

A minister, a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says "What is this, a joke?!"

A dyslexic guy walks into a bra...

LOL.................

Must be Joke Day today at the AGF.

A skeleton walks into a closet.... and gets stuck there for years .

That's it. :p

Not anymore (see above) .

A skunk, a duck and a giraffe walk in to a bar and order a 7 and 7.
The bartender asks "Hey guys, before I go ahead and make these, can I ask who's paying?"
of course the skunk says "Sorry guys. I only have one scent"
The duck responds "Sorry, my bill's already kinda large"
The giraffe steps up and proclaims....

you ready?


"Drink up boys!! the High Balls are on me!"

Guy walks into a bar and sits at a table. Tells the waitress, "I'll have a Bloody Mary and a menu." When she returns with his drink, he asks "Still servin' breakfast?" When she says Yes, he replies, "Then I'll have two eggs-runny on top and burnt on the bottom, five strips of bacon well done on one end and still raw on the other, two pieces of burnt toast and a cold cup of coffee." Indignantly the waitress says, "We don't serve that kinda stuff in here!" Guy says, "Funny... that's what I had in here yesterday..."



A guy walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "Do you have any helicopter flavored potato chips?" The bartender shakes his head and says, "No, we only have plain."

A blonde walks into a bar and sits next to a man watching the 10 o'clock news.

The story shows a person standing on a ledge threatening to jump.

The man says to the blonde "I'll bet you a beer he jumps", the blonde says "you're on, I'll bet you he doesn't".

Moments later the man jumps to his death and the women proceeds to buy the man a drink.

The man says "lady I can't accept this drink, I saw this report earlier on the 6 o'clock news".

The blonde says "yeah I saw it too, but I didn't think he'd do it again"!!!