I'm tired, I'm poor, and I wanna stay home. Music OFFICIALLY put on back burner!
 

I never thought that I would be writing those words but it is official folks. I've been pursuing music as hard as I know how for close to 15 years now. I've played hundreds and hundreds of shows, gotten to tour a little, and spent countless hours practicing so that maybe one day I would get the chance to play music full-time. Well, at age 32 I think that I'm finally ready to call it a day. I'll still play at my church every weekend and I'll do the occasional gig here and there, but as far as going out and finding gigs to play out at night on weekends, well, I think that I'm done.

Financially speaking, music hasn't been really good to me in the past year and a half. I've struck out on my own and done the solo thing for a while. While I miss having other guys around, I've enjoyed doing things on my terms. But I'm married (to an extremely supportive wife) and I've got a little 1-year-old (who loves music) and I have a great job teaching at a local college. I may be going back to school to get my Ph.D., which is extremely exciting and scary at the same time.

I spent every spare day off last winter and spring in the studio getting my solo record together, recording all of the guitar, drums, vocals, bass, and keyboards. I didn't have much of a Christmas break, no Easter break, and no Spring break last year because I was investing my time and energy in the studio. I even canceled our annual Easter camping trip so that I could record. I put out a CD that I could barely afford to get pressed and bought some equipment that has yet to be paid for. I've played a lot and I've gotten paid very little. I've played a couple of "no-shows" without pay. On average, I'm going in the hole anywhere from $20 to $50 a show (multiply that by 4 or 5 shows a month. That's a nice car payment!). When I was playing drums, I was going in the hole a lot more (believe it or not).

I have a hammered dulcimer that's being built right now that I'm going to enjoy learning to play and I may do some weddings here and there, but I'm no longer wanting to tour or be on the road full-time. Due to our church playing predominately Praise and Worship music, I'm getting the HD to teach my little girl hymns that I grew up singing in addition to my own recreation. I'm thinking of recording a Christmas record with my HD at some point and possibly setting up and playing at some old country/general stores around the area.

It took 15 years, but I'm really worn out. Somewhere along the way, music became a lot less fun and a lot more work. I started dreading gigs instead of looking forward to them. I want to look forward to playing out again and not dread it.

Have ya'll run into this too?

Sorry to hear you're burned out. I can understand it.

For me, if I play more than 2 or 3 shows in a week, I start thinking it might be nice to have a day off. Between the day job and the music thing, I'm pretty busy during the summer.

But the part that feels like work is the 30 minutes before and after when I'm loading my stuff in and out and setting stuff up. As soon as I start playing, all the feelings of work go away.

If I could play only at venues that have their own sound systems so I just have to plug in, I'd play 7 shows a week :)

I hear you. When I was 32, I had just been laid off from my job as an Asst. Atty. Gen. (new A.G. elected, new broom sweeps clean, yada yada). That gave me the time to be a fulltime musician, but the solo gigs were few & far between and the rock band I was in was still "evolving"--the leader was a perfectionist and though we played out twice a week as an acoustic trio, as a 5-pc. electric band he felt we weren't "ready" yet to even seek gigs. And I began to try to have a family then (Mother Nature had other ideas, alas). By the time we debuted (and I'd had a couple more miscarriages) to rave reviews, the lead guitarist and drummer had gotten frustrated and moved out of state. The band broke up and voila--I was finally pregnant. I played solo until the week before Gordy was born, but as soon as he came along, career matters went on the back burner. When he was a toddler, a bunch of neighbors in similar situations and I got together and gigged every week for nearly six years as a top 40-cover-frat party band until families expanded and members moved on to advancement in their day jobs. Music became a source of solace and fun, but strictly for me, my friends and family. I did not resume performing professionally until Gordy was a teenager and I was nearly 50.

What I'm trying to say can be found in Ecclesiastes: to everything there is a season. It is now your season to fulfill your other roles, enjoy your budding family and teaching career, and make music a source of pleasure and not income. But it may not always be so---time and tide may get you back out on stage again years from now as a "new phase" of your life; and by then you may have the financial security and serenity to be able to pour more money into your music than you will reap from it......and it will not matter, so long as it brings you pleasure.

Funny thing about getting "worn out:" time can "refurbish" you. Until then, let music please your soul and your friends and loved ones, and cherish them. Your kids will never be this little again, and this is (or should be) a joyous time of life for you. Enjoy!

Sad, but well stated thread, Porkpie.

Thoughtful sensitive response, Sandy.

So, how do I get one of these discs ?

I felt the same after 35 years of 4 to 6 nights a week as a drummer. Tho I made my living at it, it got to the point that it was more work than enjoyment (that and health reasons), so I hung it up a little over 3 years ago.

Since then I have done 3 cd's worth of music, learned Fingerstyle guitar.......well sort of......recorded folks in my "studio".......and have enjoyed the great outdorrs more than ever!

A break is a good thing, just remember why you started playing in the first place and have FUN with it!

The first 12 to 18 months are the hardest . . . but you eventually get to the place where you realize it was most likely for the best. My epiphany came much earlier in life . . . 50 miles from home . . . 1 AM . . . 2' of snow on the ground . . . as we finished the last set the drunks started fighting and dismantling the place. My wife was home and pregnant with our first child and I said to myself, "I don't need this anymore".

Didn't come back to it for over 25 years. Now I do it because I enjoy it. If it evolves on it's own - great. But I don't sweat over chasing it now. Enjoy other things in life and appreciate the experience it gave you.

yeah i agree porkpie with the sentiment here that we just consider this juncture a hiatus from professionally gigging. you sound like you at once had so much passion and energy and commitment for it, and i bet that comes back when it comes back(god speed). :D

good thread and greatly stated. i wish i had your courage for gigging solo. i'd love to try it one day, solo i mean....

Go to CDBaby(dot)com and do a search for Martin Moore. The name of my disc is called "More than my Maker..."

Thanks!

Thanks for all of your replies. I know that I'll probably go back to playing more often at some point, but wow, life sure can take over very quickly. I'm looking forward to raising my kid(s) around it. I don't care if they play anything or not, but I think they'll have the genes to if they want. I'm an ok musicians/singer, but mommy sounds like a songbird and has the power of a foghorn! I don't think my instruments will gather dust; I just think that they'll see a lot less mileage in the upcoming years.

Thanks again for all of your responses. It doesn't look like I'm the only one that's gone through this.

i totally agree and can relate to everything you just wrote here. i figure i will be hitting the giggin scene in my late 60s maybe early 70s, at this point. :D

Hey PorkPieGuy,

I understand your situation, but instead of "hanging it up" why not take your hard won talent and share it with a local Rest Home? Please read this thread: http://www.acousticguitarforum.com/f...d.php?t=106686

Cheers!

This burnout thing happened to me around mid-30's as well. I took several years off until music resurfaced again...this time more on my own terms. Seemed like when I stopped caring about getting gigs or being good, the more gigs I got and the better player I became. Give it time my friend, and music may circle back around again for you as a "second wind." Hence the name of my CD "Second Wind" at my website below.

I can understand how you feel as I'm going through the same thing. I will be 31 in October and am just now working on recording my first solo album. I tried writing in my early 20's but just wasn't feeling it and was content to play in cover bands. I broke up my cover band last summer because I was completely burned out and this spring I got the itch to start writing originals for the first time. I'm working on song 10 right now, have already gotten studio drum tracks for 4 of the written tracks, and hope to have a finished album by Christmas. This is kinda my one shot to try something and I also feel I need to kinda move on with my life and put music on hold indefinitely, at least as being my primary focus outside work. I don't have the family or kids but I do have a girl that I think I'll be taking it to the next level with.

I am going to do my best not to cross the religion line here. I was in the same boat as you are. 250 shows per year, etc. Finally just burned completely out.

Focus totally on your church playing. Consider your time and effort part of giving your "gift" of music back to God. When you don't "HAVE" to do it and are doing it freely and cheerfully, your entire outlook will change....promise.

I concur. Thomas, you hit the nail squarely on the head.